AP: In an astounding show of Compassion, US Doctor to rebuild 20 Iraqis

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

from the remains of 27 after errant missile destroys wedding party in Mosul.

(From AP and other wire reports)
12-31-05

"We have the parts and we have the technology," said Colonel Franklin Stein of the "Doctors Without Orders" unit of the clandestine NSA medical brigade as he spoke from behind his mask.

This past September, an errant US Hellfire of Compassion missile with a 500 pound warhead landed mistakenly at a Mosul wedding party after faulty intelligence informed CentCom that terrorists had taken to surrounding themselves with happy women and children.

"It was a mess!" said Dr. Stein, "Body parts everywhere! We had no idea what parts belonged to whom because of the massive damage, so we just iced down bags of parts until my lab could be constructed." he said gesturing to a large gothic castle. "We have managed to save everything but the brains."

In an AP exclusive, this reporter has actually interviewed one of the first Reconstructed Iraqis.

AP: Are you thankful to the Americans for rebuilding you?

Iraqi: Stack the pie higher.

AP: Um, Are you excited at the prospect of voting?

Iraqi: Fool me once, uh, shame on you. Fool me twice, um, you can't, uh, get fooled again.

AP: Okay, uh, Dr, Stein!????

Dr. Stein: I told you they didn't have brains.


(sorry)

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

1. Just in case someone missed it.