Live Blogging the Situation Room

[EarlG]

4:00 PM - We're in the Situation Room! Look at all those shiny colors. Wolf's beard seems particularly ragged today.

4:01 PM - Wolf's going to talk about impeachment... with Ken Mehlman. This should be interesting.

4:02 PM - Kathleen Koch simply isn't exciting enough. Come on Kathleen, we're in the Situation Room! Show a bit of emotion!

4:03 PM - Bush clutches his podium.

4:04 PM - Koch says Bush's speech was "well received." There's a shocker.

4:05 PM - Why is Wolf holding that pencil? He's got no firm surface to write on.

4:06 PM - Jeff Greenfield makes his first appearance. Bush shouts into a bullhorn. I'm truly in the Situation Room.

4:07 PM - Steam on the monitor behind Jeff Greenfield makes it look like his pants are literally on fire.

4:08 PM - Here we go... impeachment. Bill Schneider is ON.

4:09 PM - Schneider is now reading Doonesbury.

4:10 PM - Schneider's talking very, very slowly, presumably so Wolf can understand.

4:11 PM - CNN's "Internet Reporter" is now reading from various websites. Hey, if she starts reading this, will it create a huge rip in the space-time continuum?

4:12 PM - Cafferty lays the smack down on Rumsfeld.

4:13 PM - Wolf gives us all a lecture on comparing politicians to Nazis. According to him, you shouldn't do it. Thanks Wolf.

4:14 PM - Commercial break.

4:17 PM - We're back. Ken Mehlman is in the Situation Room. He looks like a jackass.

4:18 PM - Mehlman says that America is safer. Wolf ambushes him with a Chuck Hagel video clip.

4:19 PM - Mehlman looks very serious today. Invoking 9/11. Gathering threats. Blah blah blah.

4:20 PM - Wolf slaps Mehlman with some polls. Will he say that he doesn't pay attention to polls?

4:21 PM - Mehlman is accusing the Democrats of exploiting military families for political gain. You've gotta be kidding me!

4:22 PM - Now they're talking about Hillary Clinton. Why? I have no clue.

4:23 PM - Mehlman slithers off the set back into his cage. His handlers remove him from the building.

4:24 PM - Commercial break.

4:27 PM - We're back in the Situation Room! I can barely contain my excitement.

4:28 PM - Headlines? Headlines? I don't want NEWS. Give me OPINIONS, SPECULATION and CONJECTURE!

4:29 PM - Thank god, Wolf is back. Look at those chubby little cheeks.

4:30 PM - A report on Congress going on vacation. So what else is new.

4:31 PM - Right about now I'm wishing that they'd bring back Operation Swarmer...

4:32 PM - I'm still waiting for Wolf to try to use that pencil and put a big hole right through his stupid sheets of paper.

4:33 PM - Strategy session coming up next! All is not yet lost! Commercial break.

4:36 PM - Strategy session! This is just like being in the real White House situation room, except with added Blitzer.

4:37 PM - Can Iraq avoid civil war? Torie Clark says, "hey, this isn't my fault!"

4:38 PM - Paul Begala says "this is a debacle." I'm not sure if he's talking about Iraq or The Situation Room.

4:39 PM - Torie Clark tries to spin her way out of an unspinnable position.

4:40 PM - Dumbest question of the day so far: Wolf wants to know what kind of message it would send to the terrorists if Rumsfeld was fired.

4:41 PM - Torie Clark resorts to the desperate measure of bringing up Joe Lieberman.

4:42 PM - Unintelligible crosstalk. We're in the Situation Room.

4:43 PM - Commerical break. No John Basedow commercial as of yet.

4:46 PM - CNN promo. Anderson Cooper: Asleep at the Wheel? If you say so.

4:47 PM - Condi Rice wants to be commissioner of the NFL. Wolf calls it a "political football." I gag slightly.

4:48 PM - Elephants on parade! Wolf is talking about the circus coming to town.

4:49 PM - CNN's "Internet Reporter" is reading websites again. Does it get any better than this?

4:50 PM - Commercial break. Still no John Basedow sightings.

4:51 PM - John Basedow sighting! It's fitness made simple!

4:52 PM - More Cafferty, thank goodness.

4:53 PM - Wolf accuses Cafferty of picking on Rumsfeld.

4:54 PM - Coming up: bird flu! Huzzah. Commercial break.

4:58 PM - Wolf's video monitors show a Taliban guy, someone taking out the trash in Paris, an American soldier mopping the floor, and what looks like someone playing badminton. I now feel fully appraised of the day's events.

4:59 PM - 30 seconds of actual news.

5:00 PM - My time in the Situation Room draws to a close. God speed, Wolf Blitzer. We shall meet again...

[blogslut]

1. lol

you funny

[supernova]

2. Hee Hee!

Thanks for the updates, EarlG. :D

[BR_Parkway]

3. Wolf loves his Situation Room like Shrub loves his military uniforms

and being able to call himself CinC or Wartime Prez. You can practially see the drool.

[Coexist]

4. ""Biden: All the king's horses and all the kings men

cannot hold Iraq together again"

[leftchick]

5. Wolf is "surprised" people are talking impeachment

wolf is surprised a lot these days between the chimp's tanking poll numbers and the Iraq war so unpopular.

[Coexist]

6. 4:05 PM - Why is Wolf clutching that pencil? He's got no firm surface to w

stop it - you are making me have to pee and I will miss the 'Situation'

[blogslut]

8. Live Update!

They're reading comics on the Situation Room!

[Coexist]

7. Trudeau makes the Situation Room

Wow!

[blogslut]

9. heehee

as we say in Texas: Jinx! 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ...you owe me a coke/ Make it a Dr. Pepper! ;)

[Coexist]

12. sorry - no coke, pepsi!

:toast:

[berni_mccoy]

10. Koch said his speach was WELL RECEIVED after Bush said this ===>

"Anybody work here in this town?"

From:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x707929

[Coexist]

11. "you remember what happened to the republicans

when they tried to impeach Clinton?"

YEAH! They took control of the last branch of government.

[Staph]

13. I sent a reply to Jack's first question . . .

but I'm stuck in the office and won't see the responses. The question was "Would pulling out of Iraq be the same as handing Germany over to the Nazis after World War II?"

My response was "Your WWII analogy is correct, but it uses the wrong countries. The US pulling out of Iraq is comparable to the Germans pulling out of France. Germany invaded France under false pretenses, and the French people either cooperated with the formation of the Vichy government, or joined the French Resistance, or simply kept their heads down to try to stay alive. Sounds a lot like Iraq!"

Let me know if I get lucky and show up on the tube!

[Coexist]

14. "will Ken Mehlman admit to collapse of Republican Party?!"

You are one headline-spewing, hard-hitting son-of-a-gun, there Leslie.

[Coexist]

15. Oh - Mehlman ALMOST said, "its hard work"

dagnabbit - that would have been funny.

[blogslut]

17. Kenny's double-speak

gives me a headache...but damn that boy is CONFIDENT!

[Coexist]

16. Wolf INTERRUPTED Rove's buddy?

Are his ratings tanking that badly?

Wow - Mehlman is sounding fast-talking, slick and DESPERATE!!

Oh, happy day!

[katinmn]

18. Hahahaha! The Situation Room w/Wolf Blitzer. Is very funny.

I wish they would give the entire show to Cafferty.

And I agree Mehlman looks like a jackass.

[Kurovski]

27. Poor Mehlman, I'm convinced his life is all revenge on the world

for having been born with a head like a stave.

Sometimes it's just that simple.

[Stephanie]

19. Are you in the audience or the greenroom or what?

Too funny!

[Lexingtonian]

20. you're a cruel one, EarlG

but we love ya for it. These sh-theads deserve exactly what you're giving them.

Btw, are you related to Craig Ferguson? There are moderate stylistic similarities here.

[Coexist]

21. kick for Leslie...

[Coexist]

22. Holy Shit - search for books on Abortion on Amazon

"did you mean Adoption" comes up.

Wtf??

[Divine Discontent]

24. it didn't do that for me

however, when you search for HOMOSEXUALITY books on amazon.com

DR. LAURA SCHLESSINGER'S "HEALING HOMOSEXUALITY AND COMING OUT STRAIGHT" or whatever, is the VERY FIRST BOOK, ANDDDDDDDDDD with over 1000 gay books, I found wayyyy too many anti-gay books on that first page.

Son of a bitches... someone write Wolf and tell him that one! and the gay groups should know too!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=nb_ss_gw/103-2934157-6358205?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=homosexuality

[Coexist]

25. internet chickie said Amazon fixed it after they contacted them to ask

she had a screenshot of it on the show - that savvy reporter!

[BR_Parkway]

23. Please post this to your journal, then send it to every lefty blog on the

internet - lets get it on the front page of every single place the CNN Internet reporter could possibly pull up on our side of the aisle.

Just the volume of postings would be 'newsworthy' - I can picture Wolfie trying to 'report' on this whole posting

[Kurovski]

26. What a terrific way to watch without having to waste an hour!

This is a fine public service that you do. The only problem is that my entire nervous system rebels at having to conjure up Wolf in my mind's eye.

Still, it's better than a head-on.

[zippy890]

28. This is great! - LOL

Thanks for the laughs - love your take on wolfie's situation room
:dem:

[OhioChick]

29. LOL

Isn't that the truth! :kick:

[FULL_METAL_HAT]

30. I like saying "The WOLF BLITZER ROOM!!!!!!!" (remember the extra !'s) LOL

Earl, I happened to catch the 5 to 6pm part and I have to say it was just as "exciting".

Thanks for the levity and confirmation that that show is just as rediculous as it seems!

How I wish there were some enterprising bloggers out there who'd take up this "live blogging" everyday so we can continually get the benefit of this kind of "summary" ;)

Keep up the great work (and in future be careful, sometimes a barf bucket might be handy!)

{B^> FMH

[holboz]

31. ROTHFLMAO - thanks for watching so I don't have to!!!

Your blog shows just how hollow that show is. What's sad is that is an hour of your life you won't get back, Earl.