Pat Robertson's 2005 Predictions....What a DORK!!!

[hang a left]

Robertson's predictions for 2005:

* The economy: "Again, 2005 is going to be a year of extraordinary prosperity for this nation and for CBN . And I think the American stock market is going to surge upward, if I heard from the Lord. Again, ladies and gentlemen, don't go and buy stock on my recommendation, but that's what I feel in my heart. The Lord was saying it's going to be a super good year."

* George W. Bush: "Well, the Lord has some very encouraging news for George Bush ... What I heard is that Bush is now positioned to have victory after victory and that his second term is going to be one of triumph, which is pretty strong stuff. ... He'll have Social Security reform passed. He'll have tax reform passed. He'll have conservative judges on the courts. And that basically he is positioned for a series of dramatic victories which I hope will hearten him and his advisers. They don't have to be timid in this matter because the wind is blowing at his back, and he can move forward boldly and get results."

* Muslims and others turning to Jesus Christ: "In America, again if I'm hearing God right, we will see a tremendous incident of miracles in the year 2005. ... God's spirit is going to be moving in dramatic power around the world. And his spirit is going to be touching the hearts of many in the Muslim world and they will be turning to the gospel, to Jesus Christ. I think many of them already are, but this is going to be an acceleration that will really amaze the world. ... 'Revival will break out throughout the Muslim world, my truth will penetrate their hearts. The hold of that falsehood that has gripped them will be broken.'"

* Terrorism and global security: "2005 will be another good year for the world. The terrorist threat will diminish. Nations will walk in peace, but it will be an illusion. The peril to Israel is greater now than it has ever been for she will be seduced into a false peace that will leave her vulnerable."

* The Supreme Court: "The vendetta against religion in America is about to end. ... 'I will remove judges from the Supreme Court quickly and their successors will refuse to sanction the attacks on religious faith.'"

http://mediamatters.org/items/200501040010

[Rick Myers]

1. What a screwhead!!!!

Face it Pat, Jesus loves you, the rest of us think you're an asshole!

[ropi]

4. amen and amen n/t

[Richard D]

8. Jesus just told me . . .

. . . he thinks Pat is an asshole too!

[roguevalley]

64. squarehead. he's a squarehead. :)

[Drifter]

89. Sadly, ....

If you ask him today, I'm sure he believes he was right on the money on each and every point.

Cheers
Drifter

[XanaDUer]

2. I love the way he covers his ass on the first one...

'don't buy stock on my recommendation'...he really is a piece of human filth.

[PatrioticLeftie]

3. Prepare to be disappointed, Pat

'Cause I can see a whopping zero percent of that coming true.

[Lex]

7. It was for 2005, so we can pretty much say it didn't

unless it happens in the next few hours.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

5. Muslims never turned away from Jesus Christ

he is honored as a prophet and is considered the Seal of the Saints and the Breath of God. No, we don't buy the "son of God" stuff, but we do honor Jesus, and, more important, His TEACHINGS, something that I fear have been forgotten by Robertson and his ilk.

[bvar22]

42. Most Muslims know more about Jesus....

..than Pat Robertson or the Fundie Christians will EVER know.

[FreedomAngel82]

48. Sadly

I remember seeing Barbara Walters special on "Heaven" and she interviewed a Muslim teacher of the Quran and there are a lot of similiarties between Islam and Christianity and what they teach comparing to Jesus. And didn't Islam come from the slave girl Hager's son who's father was Abraham?

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

61. Ishmael

He is also mentioned in the Bible-Old Testament-and God said he would be the patriarch of a great race, which Muslims interpret as the Arabs. According to Muslim tradition, it was Ishmael, the first born son of Abraham, who was nearly sacrificed (instead of Isaac).

[Hatalles]

63. Muhammad was a direct descendant of Ishmael. nt

[Patchuli]

6. Wrong on Five out of Five!

What a delusional fool! :crazy:

[ruggerson]

9. These "predictions" should be trotted out

every time anyone mentions anything about the religious right. If these lies turned out to be, well, lies, doesn't it stand to reason that EVERYTHING the religious right says is a lie?

[FreedomAngel82]

49. Yep

Matthew 5:37. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Anything else comes from the evil one.

[carolinalady]

He needs a new communications provider--seems to be some

major static problem between what God was saying and what he heard!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Maine-ah]

10. thanks for the laughs!

what a fucking joke this guy is.

[neebob]

11. Wow. It never ceases to amaze me

that a person can say that kind of shit and be believed. The fact that he's doing it says he's either a complete lunatic or a con man. I think con man. The president of the Mormon church, who's supposed to be a prophet, doesn't even talk like that.

[Joe Chi Minh]

85. All our newspapers here in the UK are essentially corporatist.

Period. Some run with the hare a little more. But in a very right-wing rag, here, I read an item in which the columnist said that Robertson was widely-known as a transparent, out-and-out charlatan. Words very much to that effect.

[neebob]

87. Isn't that interesting.

Doesn't happen here very often, that I'm aware of. Perhaps we like to be conned.

[EST]

12. Wonder whose asshole he really has his ear up against?

Lying charlatan.

[louis-t]

13. This morning, he said "no one in Congress complained" to *

about spying on US citizens. Another lie.

[madeline_con]

76. Jsut who the f$^& is he to even be discussing it?! n/t

[blm]

14. Pat won't repeat what he really heard God say, "SHUT UP, PAT, YOU ASSHAT"

.

[wake.up.america]

15. What irks me the most is his comment about...

"the vendetta against religion in America is about to end". Hey Pat, you have not the slightest inclination what religion is all about. All of us here are for what religion is all about - love, compassion and tolerance. Check it out, Pat.

[The Gunslinger]

16. I think he was using Andy Warhol's phone to talk to God. nt

[fiveleafclover]

17. "The Lord was saying it's going to be a super good year."

Super good? I wonder how "super good" compares to "double plus good"?

[onager]

18. Well, writing from the Muslim world...

I'll be expecting those mass conversions to hit Egypt in the next 4 hours, Pat. (It's 8 PM here in Alexandria.)

:rofl:

This fool is even worse than Sylvia Browne, and she screws the pooch annually with her Big Predictions For The Coming Year.

[XOKCowboy]

19. "Pat, this is the Lord. Go check the air pressure in your tires"

I think Sam Kinison is up with God and they're BOTH playing tricks on Pat now.

At least I hope so. :)

[Laelth]

88. Yep.

Sam's sayin', "We got this a-hat by the balls, now!"



-Laelth

[walldude]

20. "If I'm hearing God Right" LMAO!!

Look dork, either god is talking to you or he's not. What is this if I'm hearing the lord right shit. I figure if god is going to bother speaking to someone he'll make sure he's understood. I wonder if Moses stood around going, "Let my people snow? Let my people blow? Let my people show? C'mon god, am I hearing you right?"

[FreedomAngel82]

50. LOL

And I don't think that Jesus went around and said that either. He was very confident in what he was doing.

[madeline_con]

77. Let my sheeple grow. n/t

[PA Democrat]

21. Oh PRAISE JESUS! More tax breaks for the rich!

Destruction of Social Security for our most vulnerable citizens! I think that Pat Robertson's religion is not the religion of charity and love of which Jesus preached. Robertson worships at the altar of greed and narcissism.

[FreedomAngel82]

51. Sometime google Pat Robertson and

Charles Taylor and than google Charles Taylor. Randi told about this on her show a good while back. Very interesting. Oh and this will show you why Robertson called for the assisination of Chavez. Gee, I don't remember Jesus going around asking for his enemies (or in this case "enemies") to be blown away.

[PA Democrat]

70. Yes, I've heard of Robertson's ties to Taylor.

Robertson also used donations from gullible followers to buy airplanes that were supposed to fly humanitarian supplies. Instead, Robertson used them almost exclusively to fly equipment for his private mining business. Robertson is an evil greedy bastard.

Edited for spelling

[madeline_con]

78. Halluh friggin LUYAH!!!! n/t

[theophilus]

22. Hmmmmmmmmmm. I am sure that Pat will presently be calling for stones

to have HIMSELF stoned to death because surely he knows the words of Deuteronomy 18:19-22:


If anyone does not listen to my words that the prophet speaks in my name, I myself will call him to account. BUT A PROPHET WHO PRESUMES TO SPEAK IN MY NAME ANYTHING I HAVE NOT COMMANDED HIM TO SAY, OR A PROPHET WHO SPEAKS IN THE NAME OF OTHER GODS, MUST BE PUT TO DEATH.

YOU MAY SAY TO YOURSELVES, HOW CAN WE KNOW WHEN A MESSAGE HAS NOT BEEN SPOKEN BY THE LORD?


IF WHAT A PROPHET PROCLAIMS IN THE NAME OF THE LORD DOES NOT TAKE PLACE OR COME TRUE, THAT IS A MESSAGE THE LORD HAS NOT SPOKEN. THAT PROPHET HAS SPOKEN PRESUMPTUOUSLY. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF HIM.

[BikeWriter]

23. That asshole!

[cornermouse]

24. More like an asp than a dork

[w13rd0]

25. God...

...needs to call Pat home, because Pat obviously knows what God should be doing better than God Himself.

[Name removed]

26. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

27. Can we puleeese

feed this asshole to the lions now

[madeline_con]

80. No self- respecting lion would chew on his old carcass. n/t

[Mike Nelson]

28. PT Barnum was "right"

I can't WAIT for his 2006 preDICKtions. What an utter fool.

[chrisau214]

29. Dear God,

I like how you continue to fuck with Pat Robertson's tiny little mind. It's quite funny. Keep up the good work.


Chris

[wryter2000]

34. Welcome to DU

:hi:

[stepnw1f]

84. Not With His Mind

But those who follow him... and welcome to DU!

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

30. Guess he heard God wrong

Getting a wee bit deaf lately, eh? Perhaps he's been dipping into Rush's stash of Oxy...

Take a hint, Patbo. Put down your Wall Street Journal and pick your Bible back up. It's obviously been WAY too long for you.

[arikara]

31. LOL... the wind is at chimpy's back

and it blew him right into the ditch!

Pat must have been getting vibes about Katrina.

[Czolgosz]

32. You talk to God = praying; God talks to you = schizophrenia.

[wryter2000]

33. What do you want to bet he thinks he was completely accurate?

The only one he might admit didn't happen is Bush's victories on Social Security and other matters. I'll bet he'd look you straight in the face and tell you that everything else was spot on.

[mcscajun]

35. Yo', Pat! The verdict is IN! "God" ain't speakin' to you. Period.

End of sentence.

He never did, apparently.

And just where did you pull THIS one out of, pray tell? "Revival will break out throughout the Muslim world, my truth will penetrate their hearts. The hold of that falsehood that has gripped them will be broken."

I read a lot of the The Bible in my youth (before I got rid of religion in my life) and I don't ever recall seeing anything like this in there.

When your batting average is Zero, it's time to reassess your performance and abilities, and maybe think about getting into another line of work, like carpet salesman, maybe.

[FreedomAngel82]

52. Maybe Pat should, Oh I don't know,

actually READ his Bible.

[noamnety]

36. Let's go back in time:

"You say, 'You're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that and the other thing.' Nonsense! I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Anti-Christ!" - another fun quote from Pat Robertson.

(isn't Bush a Methodist?)

[FreedomAngel82]

53. LOL

Supposivley he is. Aren't Poppy and Barbara Episcopal?

[AntiCoup2K4]

60. Yes, Poppy and Bar are Episcopal....and the Bush brats were raised to be..

But both Chimpy and Jeb converted to their wives' churches. Pickles is a Methodist, and Columba was Catholic. Although it could easily be argued that both conversions were more political than spiritual.

[NanceGreggs]

37. Technical question:

When God speaks to Pat Robertson, is the NSA listening in?

Just wonderin' ...

[ClayZ]

38. Will someone get that man a straightjacket

And put him out of my misery!

[SlavesandBulldozers]

39. if i'm hearing God right.

He either just said that that Pat Robertson was. . . what's that God. . . an asshole? yes, an asshole. well, an asshole or a maniac, my cell-phone was sort of breaking up when God was talking plus I was in the grocery store so the reception kinda sucked.

[stevedeshazer]

40. He must be psychotic

:eyes:

[Dangerman]

41. It must be the devil who's actually telling him these...

nutso predictions! :puke:

[biscotti]

43. Obliviously delusional

[devinsgram]

44. Great, ask him who's going to win the superbowl,

..then bet on the other team.

[NJCher]

45. my cats are looking at me weird

I guess because I was emitting some type of barking sound while I read that.


Cher

[FreedomAngel82]

46. I thought most Christian's don't believe in psychics?

Isn't that what Pat Robertson is doing? He's purely senial. What he says goes against other predictions. 2006 is going to be a good year but not for him or George Bush and his "predictions."

[bvar22]

47. A snail mail campaign:

Print out LETTERS, and mail to any/all organizations associated with Pat Robertson, including all venues where he speaks.
Include this quote copied from above:


If anyone does not listen to my words that the prophet speaks in my name, I myself will call him to account. BUT A PROPHET WHO PRESUMES TO SPEAK IN MY NAME ANYTHING I HAVE NOT COMMANDED HIM TO SAY, OR A PROPHET WHO SPEAKS IN THE NAME OF OTHER GODS, MUST BE PUT TO DEATH.

YOU MAY SAY TO YOURSELVES, HOW CAN WE KNOW WHEN A MESSAGE HAS NOT BEEN SPOKEN BY THE LORD?


IF WHAT A PROPHET PROCLAIMS IN THE NAME OF THE LORD DOES NOT TAKE PLACE OR COME TRUE, THAT IS A MESSAGE THE LORD HAS NOT SPOKEN. THAT PROPHET HAS SPOKEN PRESUMPTUOUSLY. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF HIM.

Then include the following from the article in the OP:

Is Pat Robertson the False Prophet?
You decide!

According to a February 15, 1988, Washington Post article, Robertson said, "I heard the Lord saying 'I have something else for you to do. I want you to run for president of the United States.'" The same article noted that during one campaign stop during the 1988 presidential race, Robertson stated: "This is where God wanted me to be. ... Here I am in New Hampshire, before a major primary." He then said, "I assure you that I am going to be the next president of the United States," according to a February 15 Washington Post article. After trailing George H.W. Bush and Senator Bob Dole in the Republican primaries, Robertson's 1988 presidential campaign ended before the Republican convention. A February 2004 article in Church & State magazine (published by Americans United for Separation of Church and State) noted several Robertson predictions that turned out to be false, including that Russia would invade Israel in 1982, and that there would be a worldwide economic collapse in 1985. The article went on to mention that "In his 1991 book, The New World Order, Robertson predicted that U.S. Sen. Jay Rockefeller would be elected president in 1996."

Robertson's predictions for 2005:

* The economy: "Again, 2005 is going to be a year of extraordinary prosperity for this nation and for CBN . And I think the American stock market is going to surge upward, if I heard from the Lord. Again, ladies and gentlemen, don't go and buy stock on my recommendation, but that's what I feel in my heart. The Lord was saying it's going to be a super good year."

* George W. Bush: "Well, the Lord has some very encouraging news for George Bush ... What I heard is that Bush is now positioned to have victory after victory and that his second term is going to be one of triumph, which is pretty strong stuff. ... He'll have Social Security reform passed. He'll have tax reform passed. He'll have conservative judges on the courts. And that basically he is positioned for a series of dramatic victories which I hope will hearten him and his advisers. They don't have to be timid in this matter because the wind is blowing at his back, and he can move forward boldly and get results."

* Muslims and others turning to Jesus Christ: "In America, again if I'm hearing God right, we will see a tremendous incident of miracles in the year 2005. ... God's spirit is going to be moving in dramatic power around the world. And his spirit is going to be touching the hearts of many in the Muslim world and they will be turning to the gospel, to Jesus Christ. I think many of them already are, but this is going to be an acceleration that will really amaze the world. ... 'Revival will break out throughout the Muslim world, my truth will penetrate their hearts. The hold of that falsehood that has gripped them will be broken.'"

* Terrorism and global security: "2005 will be another good year for the world. The terrorist threat will diminish. Nations will walk in peace, but it will be an illusion. The peril to Israel is greater now than it has ever been for she will be seduced into a false peace that will leave her vulnerable."

* The Supreme Court: "The vendetta against religion in America is about to end. ... 'I will remove judges from the Supreme Court quickly and their successors will refuse to sanction the attacks on religious faith.'"


On the front of the envelop, write across the bottom: "Donation Enclosed". This will ensure that the envelop is opened and examined.


WOW, I just Goggled Pat Robertson Ministries. This guy has huindreds of connections.
I started to compile a list of addresses, but that task will take someone with a stronger stomach than me.

[FreedomAngel82]

56. Wow

So he's been wrong on EVERYTHING. And why does he have a tv show and people actually listen to him? Someone should counteract him. I wish someone would. Ugh. And Jay Rockefeller president in 1996? Wow, that one is a long shot. Did Mr. Rockerfeller ever run for president? And yes why doesn't he not hate Bush since he and Laura are Methodists? And what about Poppy? Aren't they Episcopal?

[undeterred]

54. If God is able to make stock market recommendations

it would really help if She/He would make them a lot more specific. :shrug:

[Maestro]

55. Idiot, pure and simple.

I don't know whom I dislike more, him or the gullible people that follow him.

[KamaAina]

57. That's a horrible insult to dorks everywhere!

Most dorks, you see, aren't STONE EVIL like Patwa bin Robertson.

[Auntie Bush]

58. Is God is a liar? Huh Pat, huh? How else do you explain that?

Either you lied or God lied since you say you HEARD him say it! Which one is a liar??

[burythehatchet]

59. That wasn't God on the phone Pat

it was idiot broker. Hope you bet the farm asshole.

[spanone]

62. I say it again....Revoke this moran's Tax Exemption. NOW.

It pisses me off that his 'business' of religion remains tax-free. He's a politican.

[sakabatou]

65. As always, Robertson takes his advice from his ass

[dapper]

66. I'm "catholic"...

but I feel like I'm going to BARF! I hate Zealots!

If God tells him all this stuff (which is not correct) why shouldn't God tell him what the lottery numbers for tonight will be?
How about... 3-12-29-33-45-53

barf barf...

[Avalux]

67. Pat's God is crazy, just like him.

What a complete nutcase. :silly:

[NJ Democrats]

68. He is such an ass

Congrats again Pat on getting everything wrong.

[BR_Parkway]

69. Why does Jeebus keep blessing USA and sending prosperity

to reward us then turn around and wipe out whole cities where they have Mardi Gras because he's angry at the homos?

:sarcasm:

I think what the Good Brother Pat meant to say - You're job is safe, dig deep and give generously.

Just once I'd like to here one of these modern day Pharisees predict that God was pissed enough to wipe out our evil and wicked economy, you better keep your money brother, you're probably gonna need it worse than me.

[Geoff R. Casavant]

71. Okay, so it looks like either

1) Ol' God is 0 for 5, which doesn't bode well for that whole "omniscience" thing; or
2) Ol' Pat is just full of hot gas.

Which will it be, fundies?

[Berserker]

72. Hey Pat

I just talked to god and he said the Dem's are gonna be alright but your Fucked.

[DemGirl7]

73. Funny, how all those "predictions" turned out to be WRONG! Huh Pat???

The stupid idiotic quotes this charlatan says never gets old. Every time you turn around this twit says something new that seems to top the bullshit he said before. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: This man really needs to stop living in the lalaland he seems to be living in.

[madeline_con]

74. "... throughout the Muslim world, my truth will ..."

HIS truth, huh? What a crock. Now, God talks TO Pat ABOUT Duh-bya. WEll ain't that swell?

In answer to the question, "Is it time for Christians to assassinate Pat Robertson?"

Yes. Absolutely.

[Scurrilous]

75. George W. Bush

"... the wind is blowing at his back."

Katrina?

:rofl:

[madeline_con]

82. Good one. n/t

[fishwax]

79. i guess he wasn't hearing god right

he kept saying "if I hear god right" ... now, it seems to me that he obviously wasn't hearing god right, and that's the kind of thing that ought to hurt his reputation ;)

[Liberal In Texas]

81. "...the American stock market is going to surge upward..."

Dec. 31--On Jan. 3, the first day of the trading year, the Dow Jones industrial average opened at 10,784.
On Friday, the last day, the Dow closed at 10,717.50--a change of just 0.6 percent.

-http://www.blackenterprise.com/yb/ybopen.asp?section=ybem&story_id=87412498&ID=blackenterprise

I don't think I'll invest on any advice from old Pat.

[serryjw]

83. Maybe Pat should stay away from Las Vegas

his crystal ball is not working very well

[oregonindy]

86. I predict Pat Robertson will become even richer this year.

sad that people support this idiot.

[PATRICK]

90. Which supernatural being

besides Robertson himself- lies consistently to a hidden purpose? Either that or God has some special reason for simply telling Robertson what he wants to hear.

I wish "God" would tell Robertson to walk on water. Instant results would be more instructive.

[mzteris]

91. So how's he going to explain

God being so WRONG to all his followers??

:banghead: