Hey Dick, if you're not busy

[MichaelHarris]

this Scooter and Brown stuff is killing us, think you can go shoot someone in the face for us?

Their rebuttal came as a Republican-written House report blamed government-wide ineptitude for mishandling Hurricane Katrina relief. A report by Congress' investigative arm, the Government Accountability Office, reached similar conclusions and singled out Chertoff for delays.http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,,-5616214,00.html

Yo Dick, if it's not too much trouble think you can create a diversion while we sell our childrens future to the logging industry?

The Bush administration identified Friday more than 300,000 acres of national forest, including about 85,000 acres in California, that could be sold to pay for services in rural areas across the country.http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2006/02/11/MNGMQH6S1F1.DTL

Dick, while you're in Texas think you could bust a cap in an old man's face while we hush up this antique coin campaign finance scam?

A coin dealer and GOP fundraiser hired to manage an unorthodox state investment in rare coins was charged Monday with embezzling at least $1 million in an election-year scandal that has sent Ohio Republicans running for cover.http://www.forbes.com/home/feeds/ap/2006/02/13/ap2522808.html

Dick, here's an idea, think you could fly to Texas have some drinks and play with shotguns while we burn these Abramhoff photos? While you're at it think you could come up with some small news story to divert everyone's attention?

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff accompanied a Native American tribal chief he was trying to sign as a client to a White House meeting attended by President Bush, a newly published picture shows and a Bush spokesman confirmed Sunday.http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/02/12/abramoff/

You pretty much get the picture, there are some pretty good stories taking a backseat to Ole Dead-Eye Dick.