George W. Bush, President: “About little boys giving valentines to little boys, and little girls giving valentines to little girls? Well, when the Founding Fathers scriptured the Constitution, I don’t think this is what they had in mind.”
Dick Cheney, Vice President: "I think different states are likely to come to different conclusions, and that's appropriate. I don't think there should necessarily be a federal policy in this area unless we’re talking about, you know, real flames."
Billy O’Reilly, Fox News: “In Schuster Minnessota, the kids aren’t even allowed to have names which begin with the letter V anymore. It's all part of the secular progressive agenda...to corrupt America’s youth with ACLU talking points…and I’ll be taking names.”
John Gibson, Fox News: “Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. But this is taking things too far.”
Bill Bennett, Harrah’s: “I bet if we killed all the Blacks on Valentine’s Day, there’d be fewer abortions.”
Pat Robertson, diamond miner: “The next thing you know, dogs will be having sex with cats and they’ll give birth to little dogs with sharp claws and everything.”
Donald Rumsfeld, stand-up comedian: “Well, you know, you can ask questions about Valentines, and little boys, and all, but who really knows whether or not the questions were asked within the same contexts from which I would consider giving responses irrespective of the same pretexts of the answers.”
Nora O’Donnell, speaks model: “You’re certainly not suggesting that the President is wrong on this, are you?”
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