There goes the neighborhood.

[11 Bravo]

The night before last, our next door neighbor (with whom my wife has an over-the-fence friendship) came to visit in order to let us know that a gay couple is trying to purchase a home on our cul-de-sac. An elderly couple has owned the house for many years, but the wife passed away recently, and the husband says the place has too many memories. I listened semi-politely as she went on about property values and what she considers to be "unnatural", but then she made the mistake of mentioning my kids. She wanted to know why I wasn't worried about my two sons being exposed to "sodomites" (her word). I calmly told her that on second thought, I believe she is right. In fact, I told her, so threatening to me is the thought of a loving, committed, same-sex couple, that I had no doubt my own marriage would be tits-up within a month, and that any day now she could expect to see my 9 and 13 year old boys fellating each other in our front yard. She couldn't get out the door fast enough. At first I was concerned that my wife might be mildly pissed at me for being rude, but as soon as she stopped laughing, she came over, gave me a kiss, and said, "That's why I love you."

P.S. The neighbor is separated from her husband of 17 years, so I guess that All-American heterosexuality didn't do her relationship any good at all.

[atreides1]

1. Very Well Done

Good job.

[bigscott]

2. from the bottom of this sodomites heart

THANK YOU! we need more people like you! It never fails to amaze me that the people who criticize my relationship are either A: divorced or B: married to a man/woman who is cheating on them but they want to stay married for the kids. Great lesson you're teaching your kids -

I wish I was you neighbor!!:pals:

[No Exit]

8. Hell, I'd wager that OVER half of freerepublic is divorced--many, more

than once.

You can tell they are, b/c whenever there's a story about a child support evader, or a custody battle, etc., they all come out and start posting their personal histories. Some of them have some real horror stories, too. (I know you must be shocked that freepers have such histories...)

Not only that, but among freeptards, there've actually been marriages that have ended in divorce BECAUSE of cheating which started as an online "friendship" at freerepublic. LOL. And there are plenty of people over there who are looking for a date--and they are by no means all single people.

[liberalhistorian]

44. Cheating, divorcing freepers??

No way, that just cannot be true! OMG, OMG, this is HUGH!!11 I'm totally SERIES!!!!111 :evilgrin:

[gilpo]

47. MORANS!!!!!111

[No Exit]

50. What part of "till death do us part" do they not understand??

Heh.

I feel dirty talking about something as sacred as marriage vows in the presence of freepers' solemn respect of marriage.

:rofl:

I knew I could never say that with a straight face.

[No Exit]

49. But of course the institution of marriage is held in high regard by them!

It's just that the institution of divorce is held in, er, higher regard...:)

[Katherine Brengle]

35. rock on! n/t

[No Exit]

3. Tell that dumbass that even repukes know that gays make generally

good neighbors, once they're old enough to have settled down.

Just like straight people make generally good neighbors, once they're old enough to have settled down.

Here's my story--from a very republican suburb in red-state Dumfukistan, America. The people here are educated. (So why are most of them republicans? I dunno. I guess most of them haven't woken up, as I woke up, yet... but I believe they WILL wake up one day.)

We live on a short street which has about 20 houses on it. I have sons. Some 10 years ago, a gay man bought the house on the hill-- it's about 5 houses away from us.

Nothing happened. I met the guy at a few neighborhood gatherings.

Then a lesbian bought the house at the foot of the street-- 3 houses away from us. Her house is kept in absolutely tip-top shape. She's been there for about 8 years.

And so it goes. We've been here, we're still here. Nothing has happened. It's really quite boring. Quiet. Etc.

[Arugula Latte]

45. What?!? You mean those sodomites didn't try to throw your family

into a homosexual conversion concentration camp and try to convert you all over to their team? That's how they work, ya know ... I'd be mighty careful if I were you ... Maybe they're just biding their time until they git ya!

[No Exit]

53. Yes, I'm ever-vigilant.

For some reason, I was recalling the time I was pulling away from a friend's apartment building with my son in the back seat. (He was about 4.) Just as we pulled out, two drag queens (in evening attire with elbow-length white gloves) left an apartment on the upper floor and glided along the balcony. They saw us and one of them blew us a very elaborate kiss. I blew a kiss back and my son waved to the nice lady.

[schrodingers_cat]

48. Tee heeeheehee - we're the token straight couple in our neighborhood,

alongside the couple with the new baby across the way. I do have to confess, though, that sometimes we all get together, and. well. um..... we hold...er, potlucks...and sometimes, we, well, we (oh god, please forgive me....)we....barbeque in each others BACK YARDS, if you get my meaning. And I might as well confess it all....sometimes, OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD we get this really big group together, and you know...we hold YARD SALES!!!

Oh Lord, please punish me for my sins:evilgrin:

[No Exit]

54. YARD SALES????????????

Are you out of your MIND?? :D

[Arugula Latte]

58. Oh God, the DEPRAVITY!

When will it end, oh Lord??

[Geoff R. Casavant]

4. 11 Bravo is my hero

A pity no one thought to put a lump of coal in your neighbor's ass when you were talking -- the resulting diamond could have paid off everyone's mortgage on the block.

Make a point of bringing a big bowl of spaghetti over to the new neighbors when they move in. Absolutely nothing makes new neighbors with all their crap in boxes feel more welcome.

[JNelson6563]

5. Brilliant! Nominated!

I love it! Thanks for posting. :toast:

[libnnc]

6. You get the "Straight but Not Narrow" award of courage today

:yourock:

and a big fat internet kiss from this lesbian :applause: :*

[txindy]

7. There's only one reply to this:

:yourock:

Oh, okay, one more comment: She's just ticked that two single men are moving into the neighborhood and she hasn't a ghost of a chance with either of them. Not that she would, anyway, with a tiny, closed mind and diarrhea of the mouth. :rofl:

Adding: Nominated!

[BR_Parkway]

9. Have your wife give you a kiss from me - thanks for the support

and I love the way you did it.

[meganmonkey]

10. Well done!!!

I can see why your wife loves you. Tell her she's a lucky gal!

:patriot:

[abluelady]

11. You Should Have Added

She needs to move out of the neighborhood quickly! Maybe even without your telling her that her house will have a For Sale up tonight! lol

[teenagebambam]

12. Doesn't she know

that once the gays start moving in the property values will skyrocket?

[Midlodemocrat]

13. Nice work!

:yourock:

[lectrobyte]

14. I wish I could think that quick on my feet when my neighbors talk

to me about that kind of stuff. Rock On!

[TahitiNut]

15. You should apologize. Buy her two tickets to ....

... to the local showing of "Brokeback Mountain" and tell her to take her closest female friend. :evilgrin:

[Tesha]

16. "Maybe they'll put up more tasteful curtains..."

'Nuther possible response:

"Maybe they'll put up more tasteful curtains than those God-awful
rags *YOU* have hanging in *YOUR* windows!"

Tesha

[The Doctor.]

17. Love it.

You should make a point of having a get together with her and the new neighbors.

Imagine the horror when she discovers they are human beings.

[ninkasi]

18. Bravo!

That was beautifully done. You and your wife sound like the kind of people I'd like to live next door to. Ironically, when your bigoted neighbor said something about property values, it reminded me of my daughter's theory. She says that you can tell when an older, rundown neighborhood is going to go up in value is when gay and lesbian couples begin to move in.

That might be a stereotype, but actually, all of the gay and lesbian couples we know have well kept property, and nice homes. She would much rather move into a predominately gay community than one full of right-wing religious fundies, and so would I.

The world needs more people like you!

[cheezus]

19. Wow, bigots like her must really drive down your property value

[xxqqqzme]

20. I love how my RW mother

knows exactly which houses on their street are owned by 'gays'. The house next door was purchased by a same sex couple about 10 years ago. The house had been vacant for 2 years. The former couple had done nothing 2 the house and it was showing its age. The house, now, has been painted, improved inside & out, beautifully landscaped and the pool in the backyard is no longer a breeding ground for mosquitoes. 4 years ago after my dad's heart attack & surgery, this couple could not have been kinder to my mom. It really touched me 2 see how generous they were w/ their time and concern but my mother still calls them 'the gays next door' (sigh).

I'm afraid it is going 2 take another generation B4 the attitudes change.

[Robeysays]

31. funny you mention that....

every one my age 18ish knows a hand full of gays, my girl friend's grandmother is gay, my ex's mother was gay, i had four gay friends in high school. it'll be sooner than you think...


growing up with them makes it a lot easier to see that they are real people.

[suffragette]

21. Nice stand against intolerance

Your new neighbors are fortunate to have you there and I am happy to have you here.
:applause:

[RB TexLa]

22. nicely done

[donheld]

23. This sodomite also thanks you

It will probably improve the neighborhood.

[spuddonna]

24. You're awesome!

And so is your wife! :) I wish I could come up with such great stuff like this during a confrontation... Good job!!

[underpants]

25. Sounds like the neighborhood already went

I got a "Sunday's LAw" pamphlet in the mail box yesterday.

[11 Bravo]

26. Ya gotta love the Old Dominion!

(Apropos of nothing, I miss your dancing underpants. Where did they go?)

[underpants]

33. (hit it boys) Daa da daaa dada daaa

[11 Bravo]

36. That's what I'm talking about!

Welcome back!

[IronLionZion]

27. Maybe gay neighbors would improve property values

Don't they have clean, well decorated houses?

[SoCalDem]

28. She probably grew up in a community that had a few "confirmed bachelors"

who shared a house "to save money"...or a few "widowed sisters/cousins/friends" who shared a house so they would not be lonely.

In times past, gay people were forced to pretend and make up stories.. They have always been with us, they just quit lying:)

[Lindacooks]

29. Ask her which gay marriage ended hers.

Or if her husband left her for another man.

[Maru Kitteh]

46. Good question there!

I've got to save that one for future use.

[EFerrari]

30. Ha! Tell me you didn't say "tits up" to a nice old

bigoted lady.

:rofl:

Well done!

[11 Bravo]

38. Guilty as charged.

The "tits-up" and the "expect to see my boys fellating each other in the front yard" are direct quotes. I'm not especially proud of myself because I was intentionally trying to offend her, but damnit, some people need offending!

[EFerrari]

40. Bless your heart.

:rofl:

[Lars39]

32. I'm surprised your wife stopped laughing at all.

:rofl:

[Katherine Brengle]

34. i officially love you, lol >

I think my hubby would have said much the same, lol.

Fabulous.

[brainshrub]

37. Good for you!

[SeattleGirl]

39. Excellent!!!!

:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:

[malmapus]

41. Hah! Way to go 11 Bravo!

Great story, lol.

Dunno why but for some reason reading about your neighbor had me thinking of an old neighbor I had myself. This elderly lady that lived alone on the biggest and oldest house on our street. Everytime you saw her she introduced herself as "I'm <insert name>, I live in the pink house." So yeah, I had lived in this neighborhood for over a year and was pretty active in the neighborhood watch and what not. She comes to my house one day and freakin does the whole introduction like I was a total stranger here. So I introduced myself back, "Hi, I'm Joel, I drive the black camero."

But yeah, can see her doing the same thing if a same sex couple came to our neighborhood. She had tried spreading rumors on my wife now cause she was a single mom to be (ok so we weren't married when she was expecting our daughter big deal).

[TrogL]

42. You'll burn in hell for that

Of course I'll be sitting right next to you.

Poker, anyone?

[Hardrada]

43. I wish we could replace all our neighbors with gays and lesbians

and bi's. Then we might have better gardens and fewer tacky lawn ornaments. Seriously. And more liberals too instead of these Xian bigots.

[Progressive4Life]

51. Good for you!

Hate-mongers like that deserve to be told off. Kudos to you for standing up for human rights!

[Cleita]

52. LOL

I hope you guys take a welcome casserole over to them when they move in.

[FreedomAngel82]

55. How sad

Ugh.

[Hissyspit]

56. She was casing out your boys...

No sex for 17 years? I'd keep my eye on her - she probably likes them young. Be sure and warn the new gay neighbors about her too.

/facetiousness

[Nikki Stone 1]

57. I like your wife's style

And you ain't bad yourself. :)

Thanks for standing up against this kind of crap.