Latest "War on Christmas" update.

[Cyrano]

One of our operatives got a copy of Pat Robertson's mailing list. Flyers were immediately sent out telling these fundies that Prancer and Vixen are gay and that Santa is actually a Druid.

We've also informed them that anti-Christmas agents have targeted all homes that have creches on the lawn. A warning was included that these agents might be disguised as carolers.

Our final bit of advice was to warn them that egg nog has secret properties that can turn them into liberals.

That's it for now. Only a bit more than a week left for us to pursue our devious plots. Please update us on what you've been doing in the "War on Christmas."

[T Wolf]

1. I have been talking about changing the color of candy canes

because the red stripe will turn you into a commie.

[Cyrano]

4. Everyone knows that. No aging fundie has eaten a candy cane since 1947.

Nonetheless, that's good work. Many younger fundies don't know about it and you're carrying on a great tradition of keeping them paranoid.

[EFerrari]

2. We're losing the War at Safeway. One of our operatives

in the field checked out their HOLIDAY cards yesterday. Nativity, nativity, nativity.

:shrug:

[AnneD]

3. Our field agents

disguised as flamingo have disappeared. Gnomes are blending in well and are transmitting data.
Code Santa Baby for target.

[Sherman A1]

5. What's the Day Word and Counter Sign?

and by the way "Happy Rock Salt" to all....

[Cyrano]

6. The Day Word is "O'Reilly." The counter sign is "Falafel."

[Sherman A1]

9. Thanks!

I need to go now - must get the inflateable Grinch's up on the front lawn....

[rhiannon55]

7. Since homophobe fundies avoid FRUITcake (for obvious reasons)

I've been making and sending fruitcakes disguised as chocolate fudge cakes to my fundie relatives. I'm hoping that after they eat them, they'll start wearing red and green feather boas and maybe bright purple nail polish to the family X-mas parties. I can't wait to LMAO at the confused looks on their faces. Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!:rofl:

[Cyrano]

8. Great work. You're in the running for one of this year's Grinch Awards.

[rhiannon55]

10. Aww, shucks, Cyrano

Just doin' my part for the Cause.

BTW, one of them's named Cindy Lou (for real--on my mom's side--haha!).

[tsuki]

11. I thought only soy caused that.

[rhiannon55]

12. You've discovered my secret ingredient

Shhh-it's a secret!

[jazzjunkysue]

13. We put all blue lights on our Krismikah Bush. That'll show 'em!

And, I bought all of the red and green wrapped hershey's kisses at CVS, and ate them.