The War On Christmas is Over, Christmas City Falls to Rebel Forces

[proud2BlibKansan]

by Kamal El-Din
Unconfirmed sources report that the war on Christmas is over. Anti-Christmas rebels led by "Big Ed" stormed the capitol of Christmas, Christmas City, and the government has fled into exile. The Christmas army led by General Charles Gibson has been totally routed and is no longer a viable military force. Pro-Christmas rebel leader Fox O'Reilly has vowed to fight on and claims he is counter attacking the Anti-Christmas positions in the capitol.

"It's a very dangerous situation here." reports Stone Philips from a hotel in the heart of Christmas City. "The rebels swept into the city in a brisk orderly fashion and now hold everything in sight. The Christmas army and it's paramilitary supporters never stood a chance. Christmas City is quiet, but the streets are empty and the mood is tense. Anti-Christmas forces hold the entire city and the surrounding suburbs."

Far from mounting a real threat to the rebels, Fox O'Reilly and a small group of supporters have barricaded themselves into a church and refused to come out. Anti-Christmas leader "Big Ed" claims no ill toward O'Reilly and says the Pro-Christmas faction is welcome to join in a new unity government.

"Big Ed" spoke to reporters and a UN team at the Christmas City Capitol Building and invited all the citizens of Christmas to participate in a new era of peace and understanding.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=edit&forum=105&topic_id=4502178&mesg_id=4502178

[Ksec]

1. Oh damn.... Poor Santa. He didnt deserve to be strung up like that..

[gandalfdf]

2. very funny

:toast:

[proud2BlibKansan]

3. It's a great website

Welcome to DU :hi:

[Crunchy Frog]

4. They're now referring to O'Reilly as

"North Pole Bob", for his outrageous news conferences in which he repeatedly asserts, all evidence to the contrary, that Christmas City is remains in control of the Pro-Christmas forces, and that the Anti-Christmas forces have been routed. Santa remains on the loose, and fears continue that he will unleash his weapons of mass destruction. The discovery of large stockpiles of coal lumps is being touted as evidence that his WMD programs were genuine.

[proud2BlibKansan]

5. LOL

great stuff