don't act nervous at the airport, they're using the 'Israeli Model'

[mopaul]

http://pressherald.mainetoday.com/news/state/051229airport.shtml


Travelers going through security at Portland International Jetport may have noticed a member of the screening team who is neither looking into luggage nor sweeping people with a magnetic wand.

Portland is one of four regional airports that are experimenting with behavior detection, the practice of analyzing people's actions to identify individuals who might have something to hide.

Behavior detection has been used for years around the world, and the Logan program was based on an Israeli model, said George Naccara, federal security director at Logan. Screeners are trained to look for telltale signs that someone is too nervous for the circumstances.

"They are trained to look for stress, fear or some sort of deception," Naccara said. "They identify certain characteristics and pass the information on to local law enforcement."

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stare straight ahead, don't make eye contact with anyone, don't sweat, don't tremble, maintain a blank, non threatening expression, don't have dark skin, don't have a foreign sounding name, wear only american clothing, no fez, no robes or face coverings, do not raise your voice or look back and forth suspiciously and you should be just fine.

[NMMNG]

1. And for the love of (insert favored deity's name here)

If you have a mental health problem, be sure to take your medications. In fact, you might want to take a double dose before heading to the airport. After all, if you appear the slightest bit symptomatic you are a goner. If, on the other hand, you have the approved "Laura Bush" Stepford Wife Xanax glazed look in your eyes you should do just fine.

[mopaul]

2. never mention allah

the preferred american diety is called 'god', remember that. and refrain from referring to the screener as an infidel whose bones will bleach in the sun where his family will never find them.

[NMMNG]

4. Good point

In fact, the only deity as far as the USA is concerned is "god". Love Him or leave, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. We'll take your tax money, but don't ask for the same rights as the majority, no siree.

[dbt]

3. Look me in my REBEL eyes, ya fuckin' BROWNSHIRTS.

I just flew commercial for the first time in ten years. I hope it's another TWENTY before I am forced to get on another gawddamn airplane in bu$h-O-Murka.

MESSAGE TO THE TSA NAZIS: Us Arkie boys are BY NO MEANS afraid of y'all. Look some of US in the eye and see if you can tell what WE'RE thinking. Here's a clue: you're watchin' the WRONG people--but that's a given under bu$h, innit!

(Personal to the sawed-off little shit {with the dog that's ten times the man YOU are} at the Little Rock Airport: fuck YOU and your Puppet Masters. If you had a soul, I'd be a-prayin' for it.)

:hurts:
dbt
Remember New Orleans

[murielm99]

5. I have a friend who works in customs.

He has been doing that work for so many years, that he can pick out people who are trying to hide something most of the time. I think it comes with experience.

[MadHound]

6. Just one more reason not to fly.

I haven't flown since 911, and probably won't fly domestically, unless it is an emergency, ever again. It was too much of a cattle chute before for my tastes, and now I don't even want to go through the hassle, take the risk I might get killed, all to go across the country. Besides, I've always liked driving better, you get to really see the country and meet the people.

Judging from the bankrupt airlines, I think many others are of the same mind as I.

[PDJane]

7. there are lots of folks

who are in the same boat.

I hate flying in and out of the US......and there are more than a few people I've spoken to lately who absolutely refuse to even fly through the US if it can be avoided. Folks will pay a premium to fly without hitting your shores. That's bad for tourism, bad for the country, and really bad for the airline industry.

[rpgamerd00d]

8. What you posted is a dead giveaway you are not American

You said:
"stare straight ahead, don't make eye contact with anyone, don't sweat, don't tremble, maintain a blank, non threatening expression, don't have dark skin, don't have a foreign sounding name, wear only american clothing, no fez, no robes or face coverings, do not raise your voice or look back and forth suspiciously and you should be just fine."

No way. To make sure they know you are American, do the following:

"Act impatient. Yell at the baggage handler "What the hell is taking so long!?" Then turn to a random person in line behind you and say "These fuckwits are so goddamn incompetant, I could have checked the whole goddamn line by now!" Be sure you are wearing sunglasses inside, and have an artificial tan. Wear shorts in the winter. Chew gum with your mouth open, then spit it towards but not neccessarily into a garbage can. Yell at the screeners again "COME ON!!!!!" Then curse out the "goddamn terrists" under your breath but not really under your breath, so that everyone can hear you. Then claim you are never going to fly "X" Airlines again (whichever company your flight is thru). Then, look at the person who you suspect is doing the "behavior detection", stare right at them, and yell "What the FUCK are YOU looking at, asshole?!"

That is what an American would do.

:D

[mopaul]

9. why, this would be an excellent tactic for a serious terrorist

really. just march right in there and do exactly as you said and you'd be instantly accepted as an american, because no foreign terrorist would act that way.

hhhmmmmm

[lpbk2713]

10. Don't act nervous.

Don't think of how airlines are fighting off bankruptcy and cutting corners on maintenance and continuing to use aircraft that should be mothballed. Don't think of how repair work is farmed out to the lowest offshore bidder. Don't think of how pilots and mechanics go on strike and the airlines replace them with whatever scabs they can find to take their place.

Just don't act nervous.