My city is third on the "must bomb" list! (Read and be entertained!)

[BlackVelvetElvis]

Why this little town of some 200,000+ people?
Because a freeper told me so.
I am not making this up.
I came across an insane man running an eyeglass repair business. BTW, he was listening to RW radio when I walked in (that didn't set well with me but it's a free country).
He fixed my mom's glasses (great job and dirt cheap) and proceeded to tell me a story about how there was a subterranean military industrial complex on our local mall. The military had tranformers fashioned from alien technology and could go around the world using their transformer. They could even go back in time. Someone went back to the year 2012 and nothing existed - so we were obliterated before then.
So, if you go behind the Toys R Us near Hanes Mall there is a big tunnel that will take you into this magic world of alien/military technology.
He even has had men from the CIA (with Krypton-security clearance) who happened to come in for eyeglass repair verify this.
He proceeded to tell me and my mother that the magician David Blaine didn't do magic, he used demons...he even had one of their chip embedded in his wrist. These were the "walk on water" type of demons.
Oh yeah and that the media hates Jesus.
The scary part?
This man said he kept "big guns" in his shop.
I was entertained until then.

[Elidor]

1. I don't think I'd go back there

Mental illness and guns are a bad combination.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

3. You got that right. nt

[trotsky]

2. Nothing existed in 2012, eh?

So did they visit 2011? 2010? Did they learn about the event that obliterated us? Or was it more of a "Hey, there's nothing here - we'd better go tell that nutter at the eyeglass repair business and then work on that demon problem."??

[BlackVelvetElvis]

4. Ha!

I wanted to know ," If they can tranport themselves, why do they need a big tunnel behind the Toys R Us?"
I've asked around and I've heard he's well known as a nut in town.

[Frustratedlady]

7. According to someone who believes strongly in the rapture,

it is to come in 2012. Don't make any plans that year.

[historian]

5. nothing new there

Sounds like your average imbecilic repuke

[bananas]

6. He's from the future

"Someone went back to the year 2012" gives it away - 2012 is "back in time" to him.
Ask him for some stock tips.