Note to heterosexuals:being gay isn't what you "do in bed".

[mondo joe]

Nor is it "who you sleep with".

And it's not "your sex life" either.

These are the VERY things homophobes claim. These are the things they say about out gay people - things like "Don't broadcast your SEX LIFE" or "keep what you do IN BED in the bedroom".

In fact being gay is none of these things, no more so than being straight is.

If you say these things, if you treat being gay like a sacred cow, you probably don't mean to be offensive or insulting.

But - please just consider that you might be.

[cali]

1. So true.

I'm straight, buy when I meet someone who's gay, I certainly don't start thinking about their sex life- anymore than I would when I meet a straight person.

[NoodleBoy]

2. do you think any straight person on this board doesn't know that?

[mondo joe]

5. I KNOW there are straight people on this board who don't know that.

I keeep seeing them make these comments in threads on DU.

[cboy4]

7. I also KNOW there are SOME. This is a huge community

and sadly some people here are racists and bigots. (anti gay, anti Mexican, anti black, anti Jew, anti Muslim, etc)

Fortunately, the over all numbers seem low.

Just try not to be so naive.

[cboy4]

3. I would hope a majority of our DU family already knows this, but thanks

for the reminder mondo joe. :)

[focusfan]

4. Staights do the same sex acts

as gays(oral,anal,etc.)I don`t see what the big deal is and have no problem with any kind of sex,gay or straight people are people sex is sex

[jhrobbins]

6. I have been saying this for a very long time...

I have been ill for a long time as has my partner (not HIV) and our physical relationship has been non existent for a long time as well. I have put this question to conservatives - since I am not a practicing homosexual, where does that put me on their spectrum. Many have no answer, but many say it doesn't matter - that the genesis of the relationship was homosexual - regardless that now it is no different than Felix and Oscar.

[cboy4]

8. Who the EFF cares where it puts you on the spectrum of Repukes?!?

I'm sorry to hear that you and your partner are ill.

But don't ask those idiots to justify or help you label anything about your relationship or your status as a gay person.

They don't give a crap about you.

Get better. :)

[jhrobbins]

13. Maybe I wasn't clear in my post - I am certainly not asking for a ..

stamp of approval from anyone. I simply use this to show them that they have no clear and reasonable position for their bigotry.

[tinfoilinfor2005]

20. So you are in the same boat as most straight married couples,

especially after a certain age. Should we call ourselves, no-more-sexuals? I choose to think we are just people who care and love the special person with whom we have decided to live out our lives. :hug:

[noonwitch]

9. I always thought it was about who a person was attracted to

Not that I care about whether people are gay or not. I personally don't care why some people are gay and others are not, who sleeps with whom behind closed doors, or who is holding whose hand in public, and don't understand why this is so important to those heterosexuals who think that homosexuality is wrong.

All that matters to me is that I hope most couples of any type treat each other and their neighbors with love and respect.

[patcox2]

10. So what is it, Streisand and Liza Minneli albums?

Home decor? Fashion?

[seabeyond]

11. this is what gets me the most about this issue. we always are talking

about their sex lives. bullshit. really,just let that go, just like in talking about any other couple.....

[BlooInBloo]

12. I guess I don't get it. For me, being straight IS largely...

... about what I do in bed. And what I do trying to get to bed, etc... LOLOL!

I guess I'm just uncouth or something...

[mondo joe]

14. Are you only straight when you're having sex?

Ever hear anyone talk about their husband or wife - did you consider it information about their sex life?

[BlooInBloo]

18. I suppose as I was thinking of it....

... 99.9% of *point* in making a distinction between straight folks and gay folks is in the bedroom.

Or say it the other way 'round: if it weren't for the differences between gay folks and straight folks in the bedroom, there'd be little point in distinguishing gay folks from straight folks AT ALL.

And yes - the fact that someone is "husbanded" or "wifed" DOES carry some information about their sex lives. Not a lot maybe, but some.

[jhrobbins]

15. No, it is because you are straight and have never had to look..

at the larger social/economic picture. If I want to protect my partner regarding the things that we have spent a lifetime acquiring, I have to spend thousands and thousands of dollars to secure (and not always securely, I might add) what a simple marriage license will secure.
We are often in physical danger because some segments of society simply don't like the fact that we are gay. I am betting that it never crosses your mind when you take your partner's hand in public - it corsses ours every time, even in 'liberal' places like San Francisco.
We are in jeopardy in some places of losing our jobs.
We cannot adopt children in some places because of the stigma that is placed on our unions. (I think that overall, we make excellent parents)

It is WAY more than sex.

[jhrobbins]

16. I reread your post and if you were posting for humor, then I apologize

for getting on my high horse.

[BlooInBloo]

17. Not at all - your first reply was helpful - now I see what the OP...

... was talking about - thx!

[Touchdown]

19. I have a story I tell when this assumption is made.

It's fictitious, but I'm sure a few have been in the situation.

Dan: Hey Bart (I know... cliche :evilgrin: )! Jenny and I are having a barbecue this Sunday. A bunch of people are showing up and we'll have the game on later. Why don't you and your wife show up?

Bart: Well, it sounds good, but I'm not married, Dan.

Dan: So? Bring your girlfriend then. No biggie!

Bart: I don't have a girlfriend either.

Dan: That's great! Jenny has this real hot friend of hers, and she's single too. She's going to be there. I think you two'd hit it off! I'll call her right now and set it up! So, what'ya say?

Bart: Wait. Don't. I mean, that might not be such a good idea.

Dan: Why? C'mon. She's got nice legs, and her hooters...! Hot Damn! You don't have to take her out or anything, just meet her.

Bart: Dan, you don't get it. That is not really for me.

Dan: What? Why? You're a guy, she's a gal! What's the problem? Why not just talk to her?

Bart: Dan. I'm gay.

Dan: ..... ..... ..... Well, I didn't need to hear that. Nobody brought up your sex life Pal! Just forget it then. God! Why do you people always have to talk about your sexual shit?

-end of story-

[Bigmack]

21. Wrong! It's ALL about what ...

everybody does in bed.

This society is SO weird about sex. It permeates everything... they use sex to sell everything, it's all over the media, etc. Sex is good.

At the same time, society is filled with "sex is bad" messages. Sex is the filtyiest, nastiest, ugliest thing you can do... so save it for someone you really love."

Everybody seems fascinated about what everybody else does in bed..... witness the obsession with Clinton's blowjob.

People seem to be defined by what they do in bed... and with whom.

Gay or straight... this country is weird about sex.