Milking the System, by Jack Abramoff

[dave29]

(with apologies to his daughter who may cry)

Hi, I'm Jack Abramoff, and I'm here to tell you all about Milking the System(tm) - my new and exciting method that is sure to make you tons of money, fast. It's simple, it's easy, you can make lots of powerful new friends... and you can do it all with something you are already familiar with: your hands.

Everyone has heard of pyramid schemes, and I'm here to tell you, this is no pyramid. In my revolutionary "circle-perks" plan(tm), everyone gets theirs, and then some. All it takes is a little effort, determination to see things through, and a willingness to strong arm the right people at exactly the right time. If you work the circle-perks plan hard, I'm telling you right now, you could milk the system dry before you know it.

When I was just starting out as a lobbyist, I couldn't seem to get a hold of anyone up on Capital Hill, and I was going nowhere fast. But I refused to give up, so, I rolled up my sleeves, and thought long and hard, trying to get a firm grip on the situation. What could I, Jack Abramoff, do, to get rich fast? I realized I couldn't do it alone, and that's when I envisioned the circle perk plan. It was like I had just been struck by lightning. I literally exploded into action, and asked all of my friends to join.

Some of them were hesitant at first, but once I showed them how it worked, and got them some hands-on experience, it was like riding a bike - and became second nature. All we had to do is get our hands shaking the right people with the right connections, and then rhytmically pump those synergies into loads of cash. Within a few years, I had half of congress engaged in a huge circle perk. It was beautiful, and I'm telling you, it can work for you to.

If you order now, I'll send you this video of me using my circle perk method with the likes of Tom Delay, Bob Ney, Karl Rove and even George Bush himself, who was a natural, if I ever saw one. Folks, I never thought I could pull off anything this big, but I have, and you can too. Just roll up your sleeves, order my video, and get ready to start milking the system today!!!

:evilgrin:

[Fridays Child]

1. Circle-perks!

:rofl: How appropos! :toast:

[wake.up.america]

2. Question: What has Jack said about his relationship to GWB?