Reports of boys molested by women on rise, experts say

[Fountain79]

It began in the spring, innocently enough at first. He was 15, her 14-year-old son's classmate. She was 41, a neighborhood mom, married with three children.

But after a few weeks, she began to e-mail him. Then came calls to his cell phone. And then one day she took him on an outing and they ended up at a cemetery in Farmington Hills. There they had sex in the family's Dodge Durango, according to police. A few days later, they had sex in the parking lot of a Southfield church. Over the next few months the sex would continue, more than 20 encounters, with both keeping the trysts secret.

This might just becoming sensationalized more now, but there does seem to be this double standard reaction to women who engage in sex with underage boys.

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?aid=2006608060606

[jpgray]

1. Mostly it is because men and women are different from each other

Just like how stereotypically women have daddy complexes and seek older men whereas men are always looking for jailbait. Just another example of where gender roles are at in our society.

[The Stranger]

9. But the law treats men and women the same, even when they rape.

[jpgray]

23. As it should be--I thought this thread was about how society views it

[Nutmegger]

2. All right, I want to see DU hate comments

as I have seen them in other posts where it's the man and not the woman participating in such actions.

FYI, she has no balls to cut off.

Oh and maybe y'all wouldn't mind if she got prison raped. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen that.

[elehhhhna]

6. She's a pig.

[helderheid]

I agree 100%

[lukasahero]

28. Please see post # 8

And be sure you note thus far it is only women here who are responding to your call to condemn women for perpetrating this crime on our boys. And yes, it is a crime regardless of how great some men on this board think it would have been.

Just sayin'...

[Fountain79]

31. And a man...

I've been condemning this behavior.

[lukasahero]

34. Sorry, yes, I saw you further down the thread

I was referring to the specific call of this particular poster who was trying to use the "where are all the male bashers now..." tactic which is simply put bs.

And, yeah, thanks for standing up to this kind of twisted mentality.

[Nutmegger]

38. You misunderstood

In other posts I have seen, where the girl is around the age of the boy mentioned above, and the man is engaging in relations with that girl, the comments from everybody are obscene and sickening along with the article.

But, lookie here, there's no "hate comments" demanding that she "fry" or get ganged raped in prison.

I was addressing this sickening double-standard. :banghead:

[Darth_Kitten]

48. Well why don't men in society.....

stop making funny comments about boys sleeping with older women? OH, but wait, it's the feminists, etc, fault for not being sensitive enough to this serious issue.

Feminists, you should do more, I mean, it'll save a lot of other people the effort to do something.

[MADem]

3. You forgot your link... NT

[Fountain79]

4. Added...n/t

[Virginia Dare]

5. Reports are on the rise..

may not necessarily mean the incidents are.

I knew a guy who was sexually harassed by his older female boss. This happened 20 years ago or more.

This stuff has been going on since the beginning of time, pedophilia is nothing new, for either sex, it's good that it's coming out into the open and hopefully people will be less fearful of reporting it.

[Fountain79]

7. I would agree...

I think true gender equity lies in the concept that both men and women are equally capable of committing despicable acts.

[Xithras]

21. Small point. Sleeping with teens isn't pedophilia.

Pedophilia is a sexual attraction to someone who is NOT sexually mature.

Here's something to consider: A 15 year old boy sleeps with a 15 year old female. They have great sex a few times and go their own way. What is the mental or physical harm? Now, a 15 year old boy sleeps with a 35 year old female. They have great sex a few times and go their own way. Please define, using medically confirmed diagnoses reported in peer reviewed journals, exactly what "harm" is inflicted by the second encounter but not the first?

The reality is that the age of consent in the US is much like the speed limit. We put it in place to keep people from harming others, as a protection to benefit society in general. Is every speeder guilty of hitting and killing innocent people? Not even close. Is every adult sleeping with a teen guilty of exploiting or coercing them? Not even close.

In the case of underaged sex, what you have is a well intentioned and quite reasonable law which happens to conflict with biological desires implanted over millions of years of evolution. I would not advocate repealing the age limits, but I also can't understand why so many people are so quick to label these people as sicko perverts who deserve castration. As long as both parties are willing and are sexually mature, I rank it right up there with speeding...give the adult a big fine to dissuade them from doing it again, perhaps something stricter if it's a repeat issue, and be done with it.

Now adults who sleep with prepubescent children? Different story entirely. That's a mental issue that needs immediate incarceration and comprehensive treatment. THAT is pedophilia, and it is where our righteous indignation SHOULD be focused.

[Finder]

27. Good post. n/t

[kitkatrose]

32. Not to quibble, but is it the same to you if

it's a 15 yo girl and a 35 yo man? If it is, then cool, but if not, then please explain why. Personally, I don't think sleeping with a 15 yo causes that much harm, although I honestly have to wonder what the hell the adult's thinking and why they don't find someone closer to maturity. I mean, I didn't like 15yo boys/girls when I was that age, what would an adult want with them?

In the case of underaged sex, what you have is a well intentioned and quite reasonable law which happens to conflict with biological desires implanted over millions of years of evolution. I would not advocate repealing the age limits, but I also can't understand why so many people are so quick to label these people as sicko perverts who deserve castration. As long as both parties are willing and are sexually mature, I rank it right up there with speeding...give the adult a big fine to dissuade them from doing it again, perhaps something stricter if it's a repeat issue, and be done with it.

Agree with you there.

[Xithras]

42. Yes, it's the same.

I'm not one of these people who draws a difference between what's OK for a boy and what's OK for a girl. Personally, I fail to see what difference the sex of the teens involved has on the situation. I hear the argument quite often "But what if the man knocks her up?", but the reply to that one is simple. From the perspective of a pregnant 15 year old, what's the difference between being knocked up by a 15 year old male and a 35 year old male? The result, and the options, are the same for her either way.

[kitkatrose]

47. Thank you.

I can't tell you how many times the "what if she gets pregnant?" thing crops up from even reasonable people. As if the 15yo boy doesn't have to worry about knocking up his older playmate. :eyes: But since he's not the pregnant one and she's older and supposedly "more responsible" then they don't have to worry about that little thing. :eyes: :eyes: :eyes:

[Virginia Dare]

50. Agreed...

I was making two separate points, but I know I didn't make that clear.

It's a very fine line between adult relationships with sexually willing and mature teens and pedophilia, but cases where teachers, coaches and other authority figures are having sex with teens is a dicey thing, especially in the school systems.


On the other hand, this is nothing new either, my sister went to high school (mid-80's) with a girl who ended up marrying her teacher/coach. It was a pretty well-known fact that they were having an affair (he was married at the time). They were married maybe five years shortly after she graduated and then divorced.

[MrSlayer]

8. Where were all these women when I was a kid?

While I was successful enough in my own age group, having an older experienced woman would have been a lot of fun. It wasn't until I was 19 that I had a much older woman. One of the best times in my life. Yes, I subscribe to the double standard because boys and girls are much different.

[electropop]

11. As much I consider myself a feminist, I gotta say, I agree, Slayer.

Maybe there are cases where it's coerced, or where the boy ends up traumatized, but I can't say I'd have been traumatized by such an experience. I'm sure we're flame targets now!

[Fountain79]

13. ok....

I'm a teacher. I teach kids around that age group. If it was a situation where a female student seduced me and had sex with me and I got caught I would see jail time and I would labeled as a sex offender, and the law would be right to do so. Since I am an adult I am responsible for my actions and the consequences of those actions. While physically there are many kids as early as age 13 who are physical mature they are far from being emotionally mature to handle something like this. What this woman did was wrong...period. We need to get away from that type of thinking and acknowledge that having sex with minors is wrong no matter if it is a man or a woman committing the act.

[lukasahero]

29. Thank you

This woman fully agrees with everything you said.

[lutefisk]

53. Teachers of adults have similar ethical obligations

I understand that as a teacher of adolescents one has a responsibility to not abuse her or his power position in any way. What applies in that relationship doesn't necessarily apply in the same ways in other types of relationships.

[kitkatrose]

35. So you acknowledge the double standard in your eyes.

That's good, but why shouldn't a young girl seek out an older guy? Women are no less manipulative than men, and I'm sure some girls would love to have an experienced partner who knew what to do (not saying she'd get it, but still...).

Yes, I subscribe to the double standard because boys and girls are much different.

Well, yes we are. That's a rather lame copout IMHO.

[smoogatz]

10. Fifteen was the age of consent in Ohio when I was a kid.

It made sense to me at the time. In fact, I had an eighteen-year-old girlfriend for a while when I was sixteen. I guess by current standards she'd be considered a sex-offender.

[Fleshdancer]

12. I can't comprehend doing something like that

The idea is just so damn gross. :shrug:

[tridim]

14. I think a big part of the problem is that 15 year olds are sexually mature

Both Male and Female, and it's in our genes and brain chemistry to be sexually attracted to other sexual beings. I'm not saying that I disagree with the current law, just that it's not surprising at all that people are sexually attracted to younger sexually mature people.

This trend isn't pedophilia, it's just a side effect of the human condition under modern law.

[loudestchick]

37. The issue is that 12 yr old females are sexually "mature" now...

In the 1800's it wasn't unusual for a young "woman" to be married shortly after the onset of menses...at age 14 or 15. Today, girls are likely to begin menstruation (ie: sexual maturity) as young as 10.

My daughter is 11, she is still a girl...

One of her friends is 11 and has 32D boobs and got her period 2 years ago. Try to tell an 18yr old that this is a child...his body knows differently and so does hers, though emotionally and mentally she's a child. In much the same way a 25yr old with severe developmental delays is a child.

Is there an answer? No. That is why we have social taboos to prevent victimization.

[KingFlorez]

15. I think these things are just now being reported more often

These incidents have not been reported in the past, because most people really do have a double standard. When you hear cases about women with underage boys, you don't hear the same outrage as you do about men with underage girls. I think some people are starting to view things differently, without a double standard and things are being reported.

[fasttense]

16. Back in the late 70s, I took an abnormal psych class

The professor said that incest between a father and daughter was traumatic and would ruin the child, but incest between mother and son was not harmful to the boy. I couldn't believe he said it, and that the question was on the test. It was happening back then but people just considered it ok. Some people today still do.

[jaysunb]

17. I was 16

my girlfriends Mom was 42. The year was 1960. My only regret, she got married and cut me off.
BTW, I never got past 1st base w/ the daughter.

I still smile when I think about it.

[Lisa0825]

18. Even when the male is much younger,

it's still society's POV that the male has the power. That's why the outrage is missing. Just like the way that society is more accepting of women with women than men with men. It's the men who set the tone, (like it or not) and since men often brag about their "older women" conquests when they were young, and the idea of sex with a hot MILF is the stuff of teenage fantasies, they don't protest it.

However, if a man were to seduce a young girl, well, the young girl HAD TO have been a victim, because women and girls are not powerful.

I admit it. I'm not sure how I feel about it myself. As a 16 year old, I once had a 33 year old man hitting on me. It was exciting and flattering, but mostly it was terrifying. Would a 16 year old boy feel that kind of fear? Or would it be all excitement? I'm asking an honest question here. Why is it different, IF it it truly is.

[loves_dulcinea]

19. when i was 13, i would've taken any virtually female's attention.

however, none was forthcoming. just as well, in hindsight.

i'm in my forties and it pains me to talk with any woman under her mid thirties.

i guess what i'm saying is that i'm against older women screwing teenage boys.

i certainly couldn't condone a man my age screwing a thirteen year old girl.

turns my stomach, really.

[wakeme2008]

20. I am a male, and when I was in my 30s I had a couple 13 yo girls make

it clear I could have sex with them. I didn't.... But still this is not a clear cut who is at fault....

[devilgrrl]

22. Yeah but aren't all of these molesting women HOT blondes?

So what's the problem?

[Fountain79]

24. oh boy...

:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:

[devilgrrl]

41. D'oh, forgot the sarcasm tag...

my bad.

[progressivebydesign]

25. Internet porn.. and availability.

I think you'll also find a rise in all types of sexual predator behavior. Before the internet, access to porn and child porn very limited to what they could find and hide in their house.. now there is an entire virtual warehouse of materials available at the click of a button. It really ramps things up... Any mental health professional or criminal psychiatrist can tell you that the more people like that view, the more hard core they need, until they need to act out with humans. The internet, while I applaud the great things about it, has spawned many other problems and avenues for people who have a disposition toward those behaviors.

[jpgray]

26. Eh, did they have the internet 2000 years ago?

This sort of behavior unfortunately is a natural human one. It has the potential to be -very- harmful to the immature party, and therefore it is correctly proscribed. But I don't think the internet is to blame.

[Finder]

33. I disagree...

with your statement...

"Any mental health professional or criminal psychiatrist can tell you that the more people like that view, the more hard core they need, until they need to act out with humans."

Do you have a cite for that? I ask because I have read studies that say the opposite.

[retread]

30. Anyone in their 30's who has sex with 15 year olds, has major and severe

problems and should seek immediate help before they do irrevocable harm to a young person.

Everytime this subject comes up and I read responses, on a progressive web site, that not only condone this behavior but wistfully wish it had happened to them in their youth, I despair for the future.

[Nutmegger]

36. Hey at least I'm not seeing comments such as

"gas her" "fry her" "castrate her" (impossible in this case but chemical castration is possible I assume) "they'll get their just desserts in prison" (i.e. prison rape) etc...

This is quite a surprise actually.

[Finder]

39. Progressives tend to take a rational approach to human sexuality...

rather than make moral judgements. No reason to despair for the future. We are against exploitation of all types and especially of children.

I know I personally do not agree with any legislation regarding sexuality(sodomy laws, nudity laws, prostitution laws)but do agree with laws regarding molestation, exploitation and rape.

[smoogatz]

40. It's cultural.

Lots of cultures have no problem with adults marrying teens. Or teens marrying each other. In fact, in some ways it's probably healthier to recognize that teenagers are sexually ready to go (prime reproductive years, and so forth), and to have cultural support for the consequences of teens acting on the sexual impulse. What we have in the US is a weird combination of denial and infantilization, I think, which ends up not doing anybody much good. But I'm a product of the 60s/70s, and perhaps my perceptions are skewed a bit by that experience.

[Nikia]

43. Adults having sex with children (including young teens) is usually wrong

It is most wrong of course in the case of close older relatives. It is also very wrong in the case of a teacher, clergy. work superviser, coach, or any other position of authority or respect. All these cases involve coercion by the very nature of the relationship even if there were no threats and the teen made the first move.
Sometimes respect and authority positions can involve other adults, sometimes even all adults depending upon the attitudes of the young person. Often parents of peers are considered a position of respect. When I was in my early teens and I went over to a friend's house, I had a mindset to obey their parents and trust them with my well being and safety. My parents trusted that as well. A parent who would do something sexual to a young person under those circumstances violates that position.
I think that children going through puberty are vunerable to this kind of exploitation. They are getting sexual feelings of their own but don't have much experience with them. They still have not grown out of their admiration of adults. They are also impulsive.
Adults who take advantage of children often do so because they don't want an equal as a sexual partner. They might get some kind of thrill out of having sex with someone so young. They might find it easier to get a young person to consent to sex than a person their own age. Adults, especially much older ones like this woman, who have sex with young people are wrong. Yes, they should be punished. This kind of behavior is not acceptable.

[sweetheart]

44. the lost innocence

Ever notice that young poeple are looking increasingly old? You know, when a 7
years old answers her mobile phone and tosses her ass around like she was 19, all
'cuz she's seen it on TV, surely.

And after a childhoold of that, no woman is innocent, not a one. And to touch it,
what is already theirs, molested and violated by the imprints of antiquity, in a
sweet young virile boy.

[Odin2005]

45. Western public education has skewed our notions of when Adulthood starts.

In most societies people are considered adults at around age 14, around the same time most people in cultures not obsessed with virginity generally start engaging in sex. The idea that a 15-year-old is "vulnerable to exploitation by older people" is a rediculous notion resulting from the juvinilization of teens by Western society.

[Name removed]

46. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Vidar]

49. Thank you.

[Dora]

51. Agreed. However....

This does not exculpate any adult who sexually targets a minor.

[Fountain79]

Which societies? n/t

[Fountain79]

52. self delete...dupe n/t