Poll: Do you know anyone who put a baby up for adoption and regretted it?

[sinkingfeeling]

There was an earlier poll asking if we knew women who regretted abortions. Just want to find out if those who 'gave up' their child have any regrets.

[bryant69]

1. Off the subject but

In high school I remember a fascinating discussion with a pro life person (I was pro choice at the time) in which they explained how awful adoption was for kids. I noted that I am in fact adopted, which produced some entertaining tap dancing. They did not want to abandon the point, but didn't know how to respond to the idea that most adopted children or adults would rather not exist, given the option.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[corkhead]

2. Yes, Tom Monahan's and Dave Thomas' parents

Dominos Pizza Magnate and founder of Wendy's were both adopted

[Ravenseye]

3. Open Adoption

She got to pick the family, and they have an open adoption. Her daughter knows she's the birth mother, and calls them both Mom. They have her (the biomother) over for things like Thanksgiving, and she's even taken her daughter on day outings. Mostly though she's with her adopted family.

From what I saw it worked pretty well and everyone was happy, especially because she had her daughter when she was 16 and was totally unprepared for it, but didn't want to totally cut off all contact with her.

[EFerrari]

4. No. But my mom was pressured to give me up and she didn't

Most days, I wonder how she feels about that. :evilgrin:

[Mandate My Ass]

dupe

[Mandate My Ass]

7. LOL

I was born a year after my brother. I always tell my mom I know I wasn't planned. :evilgrin:

I know one person who adopted and one who put a child up for adoption. Neither was the open type.

My uncle adopted a three-day old child (looks like him) and he was a bit nervous about the final court date (birth mom gets a last chance to change her mind.) Expecting a youngish single woman, it turns out a 40-something, affluent looking married woman had an "oops" after all her kids were grown. He thought for sure she was going to change her mind. He had planned to adopt other kids but after that he and his wife never did.

The second was a co-worker who got pregnant and bowed to family pressure to put her son up for adoption. She became a serious alcoholic and substance abuser because she couldn't deal with not knowing what became of her child.

[EFerrari]

10. Continuing a family tradition, I was pressured to give up my first son.

My beautiful, musician, left as hell son. The same family members who made my life hell the whole are now his biggest supporters and I'd never bring up with them what they put my 19 yr old self through. It wasn't pretty.

Having him changed my life forever and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. But, maybe I wouldn't be so nice to THEM while I was as it. Maybe, in retro, I should have kicked their @sses for being so unhelpful. :evilgrin:

[Mandate My Ass]

11. I was that age too when I had my son

I eloped with the asshole sperm donor so I really didn't have to take much shit. That didn't last long though. I was a single mom for much of my son's life. It was hard but I'd do it again, no regrets. Good for you. Your son is very lucky. He hit the birth lotto! :hi:

[EFerrari]

12. Ditto!

:hi:

[etherealtruth]

5. I have a friend that does (consistently) regret it ...

She does not wish she had an abortion; she indicates that she thinks she could have toughed it out (thinking the baby, as an infant would not have understood their financial straits) and raised her son herself.

[readmoreoften]

6. I know two strong NOs and no YESes

My best friend's aunt adopted her daughter at 1 yrs.

My other friend's child was immediately adopted, she got a report and a picture every year.

Both happy.

[seriousstan]

8. Wrong question, all my siblings and I are adopted and we thank the biolog

biological mother for making the right choice and giving us an excellent chance at life with parents who truly wanted and could care for us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

9. My best friend in HS was adopted

Her birth mother found her when she was 16 and told her she had always regretted giving her up. She also was told that one of her "brothers" was really her father and her adopted mom was really her grandmother. As it turned out her birth mother was a drug addict suffering from mental illness.

We always knew she was adopted but the rest came as a surprise.

[China_cat]

13. I allowed a cousin

to adopt my oldest (I was 17 when he was born...same age as his oldest daughter now) and have always regretted it. Even though I knew I couldn't take care of him at the time.

We've established a relationship now and it's good. We're friends. Of course I imagine that's mostly because I never had to make him eat his vegetables, do his homework or ground him for misbehaving.

[Samurai_Writer]

14. I'm a birthmother, and yes, I regret it

Long story, but you can read it at:

http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/2991/marybb.html

It hasn't been updated in a while, but most of it there.

[indie_voter]

15. I read your story

I'm so sorry this happened. I'm probably about 3 years younger than you, I remember how it was back then. :(

I hope your son is doing okay?

[Samurai_Writer]

17. He's doing fine, but it's bittersweet

He was in a ski accident in his senior year in college, which left him as a paraplegic. However, he is doing great, racing in marathons and mentoring new spinal cord patients, as well as working and living on his own. We have only recently started to communicate directly (mostly through email). Things seem to be going well. Thanks for asking!

[elehhhhna]

16. Yes.

I knew her for years before she told me the story. 18, Catholic, parents insisted, guy ran off...

Broke her heart. Still does to this day.