A question to those of you past 50 .....

[Bullwinkle925]

is it a natural progression of 'aging' to be visited in your dreams by those whom you've lost in your life? It seems to be happening to me on a regular basis - don't know if it's nostalgia or depression?

[dipsydoodle]

1. Put it down to nostalgia

and fond memories and don't worry about it too much. :}

[teriyaki jones]

2. I think it's exactly what you called it--

Visits.

And I don't think it's an over-50 thing. I've had occasional "visits" from people I have loved who have passed on for many years (though I am over 50 now). I think you're just more open to such things in the dream state. Were they all Democrats? Maybe they're trying to tell you something!

tj

[Bullwinkle925]

27. Yes, acutally - for the most part you could say all are Dems - but

the biggest loves in my life are Dems - so guess that would be natural?

:shrug:

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

3. I'm 55

and a mystic. I've had experiences where I have talked with those who have passed over, but for me it was not something that suddenly started happening when I turned 50-I've had such experiences since I was in my 20s.

Have you had loved ones who have died recently? That can trigger such dreams. PM me if you wish to speak further about this.

[checkmate1947]

19. Sometime they come back

and they aren't good dreams, I have had to relive a dream for 30 yrs now, I have learned to live with it, but by any other name it is called PTSD

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

23. I'm sorry you have had this problem

I do think dreams can be symptoms of PTSD. I have a friend at Eureka Springs who does emotional clearing for folks, and it seems to help on many levels.

[checkmate1947]

24. The Greatest asset for me

Has been Tai Chi, have used it for 10yrs atleast, lets it calm down and bring back a center.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

25. Oh yeah

we have Tai Chi classes at Future Visions Foundation, and hope to have more soon.

[Bullwinkle925]

26. Where and what is Eureka Springs?

[checkmate1947]

28. North Arkansas

It is a resort town in North West Arkansas

[Bullwinkle925]

31. Have you attended?

[checkmate1947]

36. No!! However

I attended a private class here in the town that I live in, and with some success I might add.

[Bullwinkle925]

39. What type of class, might I ask? Tai Chi or something other?

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

48. Eureka Springs is a town

in northern Arkansas. It is built on a series of hills, and there are mineral springs there. It has been a resort town for over 100 years, and there are healers, massage therapists, and Sufis there. Also there is a Passion Play and a large statue of Jesus, though it isn't visible from the main road, US Hwy 62. It's an interesting mix of very conservative, mystical, and political liberal there.

[Bullwinkle925]

49. Thank you - just where does your friend practice and what?

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

53. My friend

is a shaman and a healer. She is licensed in massage, I believe, and does her emotional clearing work under that. If you wish more information about her, please PM me. She doesn't have a computer, and I don't feel it proper to give out phone number/address over a message board.

[livetohike]

4. I've had those dreams a long time before I reached age 50

and for the most part, they have been joyful dreams. I think the way you view them is the important key. I've always had an active dreaming life and believe I am "seeing" everyone I dream of. Therefore, I don't take these things as a result of depression.

If that makes sense :-).

[saltpoint]

5. I don't believe it's age-specific. And it may suggest that you are

on good terms with yourself and with others that they would appear unbidden in your sleep for "visits."

A healthy nostalgia.

[raccoon]

6. Funny you'd say that. I dreamed last night about a young friend

who died at 16 (I was 19 then).

Well, I'd say part of it is, as we age, we have known more people who have died.

Did the persons you're dreaming about die recently? If so, I'd say the chances are as time goes by you won't dream about them as much.

What's the overall atmosphere of these dreams? Depressing or nostalgic? Is something happening in your life right now that could be triggering either?

[Southsideirish]

7. What do you mean by "visited?" Does the person actually come to you

and speak or communicate directly or do you mean you dream about them? I often have the latter but never the former.

[Bullwinkle925]

13. There is usually a 'storyline' but I do have conversations with my

loved ones as well.

[Minnesota Libra]

8. I'm not sure this would qualify as being...........

........visited in your dreams but I do know I think much more about those who have gone before me and I feel what I call "their presence" much more than I ever did before. I can't wait to see my Daughter and my Mom.

[SheilaT]

9. I would say it's not at all age related.

I'm 57, and rarely dream or am visited by those I've lost. And I believe very much in the survival of the soul and the ability of those who have gone on before to visit us. So even believing in it doesn't make it happen.

Not long after my mother died in 1999, I dreamed or was visited by her about twice, and both times I was acutely aware that she was dead.

More recently, back in May, I was attending the college graduation of a young friend whose father, Keith, had died two years earlier. All graduation day I felt that the dad was with me, and I was utterly compelled to say it to the son and the Alice (the widow). I even wound up saying things that made Alice laugh laugh out loud, because she said that was exactly what Keith would have said, were he there. And during the day I spoke on the phone to both my husband and son, who had also known Keith, and again I found myself compelled to tell them that Keith says hello. It was so odd, and so subtle, and even though I believe in those things I was amazed to have it happening to me.

[Bullwinkle925]

22. That is actually understandable and I'm sure you were a comfort

to the family members of 'Keith' when they felt his presence.

[SheilaT]

56. Yes, it meant a lot to them.

I wondered out loud why Keith was coming through me, and not through either one of them, and Alice felt it was because they were both two wound up to be receptive. Interestingly enough, when he first came through to me, I was doing embroidery and listening to Baroque music (which Alice says was among Keith's favorites) and so I was in a very zen kind of space. I got a kind of glimpse out of the corner of my eye of him, and then just had the strongest sense of his presence, which stayed with me almost all day. However, during the graduation ceremony itself, I felt that he left me and went to be with the son.

It was so amazing. Every so often I've gotten a strong sense of the presence of someone, and I think I'll be more accepting of those feelings from now on.

[Demit]

10. I think it's natural. The older you get, the less you have before you and

the more you have behind you. When you're younger you're busy thinking about your next job, or a new relationship, or all your myriad goals that you haven't yet achieved. Your mind is busy with that. With a lot of that behind you, and your body visibly changing, you begin to reflect. On what got you to wherever you are in life--and did it have to happen so damned fast, LOL!

I don't think it's depression. I think it's introspection, and a realization that your life is a continuum, that there were people who have gone before, and you are reflecting on what they have meant to you & mean to you now, even if they are no longer here the way they once were.

[Saphire]

11. yes....my grandma used to dream about her lost friends and I always

thought it was kinda strange and creepy, until I lost her and my parents....now I look forward to their "visits"..

[havocmom]

12. Many possibilities, nostalgia, visits, or your own mind trying to connect

you to something about those people which may be of help to something going on in your life NOW. It may even be a background issue which you are not paying attention to.

Take some time and think about what those people taught you or what you think they needed to learn that you need to remember and apply to your life now.

If nothing comes up, just let it hum in the background of your brain. It may come yet. A nifty trick is to self-talk before going to sleep. Ask your dreams to be a bit more specific. Amazingly, your sub-conscious often obliges and makes thinks less oblique in your dreams.

Put a notebook and pen by the bed. Jot notes upon waking. Don't try to capture is all, just jot notes about the feeling to the dreams, little things like was it light or gloomy. Just making those notes will often get the mind to play in the background while you go about your day. More info from the dreams will likely come then.

Note any themes running in all the dreams. Our minds will often try several routes to get a message to our waking mind.

If nothing comes up, enjoy either the 'visits' or the memories. If they are bad memories, try some lucid dreaming tricks to 'be the director in your own movie'. It helps work through some bad stuff if you can work on changing the endings in your dreams.

There are some great books out there on working with dreams. Nose around. Somebody (passed or your own self) is trying to get a message and you will probably be better off if you 'get it'.

Will be out today, so if you wanna talk more, feel free to PM me too. Poster above who offered that option is pretty savvy and helpful. Consider that you have resources here and perhaps friends you have yet to meet.

Hope it helps. You will be OK. I know what dark things may be lurking in the back of your head about this. Been there, done that. Trust da momma - such dreams are generally very GLAD tidings and/or tools to use to make life better.

Keep in touch - really.

hm

[AndyA]

14. I'm not 50 yet, but I do have periods where I'll suddenly start thinking

about someone I knew earlier in my life. Sometimes they've passed away, sometimes I've just lost touch with them. I often wonder if the ones who are still alive are also thinking about me at the same time.

I don't think it's depression, unless the thoughts are disturbing or upsetting to you.

One of those great mysteries of life, I suppose.

[RebelOne]

15. It happens to me quite often.

I will see my mother or my deceased ex-husband in my dreams. My sister died a few years ago, but she hasn't turned up yet. Must be nostalgia because it is not depression in my case.

[sarge43]

16. It's happened to me.

And I find myself thinking more about my childhood. I believe it's more like mental house cleaning - after 50 plus years a lot of stuff piles up in the attic.

[sinkingfeeling]

17. I think it's natural. I've had many recent dreams of a person I lost

last October. And I often dream of trying to rescue my little dog, most often from drowning, that very suddenly died two years ago.

[Laughing Mirror]

18. They have a message for you. Ask them what it is whenever they visit.

My grandmother taught me this trick. The mantra she uttered in her dream was "If you have something to say to me, in the name of God tell me what it is." You may adapt the wording of this command however you like, just tell yourself before you go to sleep to remember to speak it aloud in your dream, and you will.

[Bullwinkle925]

29. I'm writing that down and will try it tonight - we shall see if I have any

visitors. Thanks.

[Laughing Mirror]

30. It is generally helpful advice about problems or questions you have

in your waking life, so don't expect any startling revelations!

[havocmom]

20. Check your PMs

And behave yourself til we meet again ;)

[TX-RAT]

21. No, but every day you get a little closer to them.

[blues90]

32. I've had lots of dreams lately

I can't tell anymore if this is a mid life crisis at 57 or loosing two jobs one of 12 years in the last 18 months and looking for work is the problem . I feel absolutely useless now , what I knew and what I thought I was worth is now gone and it seems like it is forever . I have no interest in anything anymore not even playing guitar which has been a 40 year interest . One thing that really suck the will and energy out of me is looking for a job when all seem so low paid and out of my normal experience and not one offers insurance . Add to this the killing that's going on and the screwed voting system and the continued daily horrors we hear about and you get to the point where nothing offers any real grip on trust or hope . I am just riding things out watching things go to hell in a hand basket .

Perhaps the worst thing is no one talks about much , even though there are forums like this I need actual conversation with people in person . This is not likely unless you join a group and here i find people much to determined to rant over the top , really this way you come away more frustrated . I guess no one has the answers and time seems to be running out and we need to act soon , I don't see this happening where I have any control , others in the know have the control , i have my voice and my one vote . Just like a grain of sand I am .

[Bullwinkle925]

33. Check your PM Blues ...

I hear ya!

[Jeffersons Ghost]

34. MANY cultures would consider that dream phenomenon highly spiritual...

Certainly, the many ancient North American cultures centering on Ancestor Worship, view dreams like what the OP describes as signs or messages that should never be ignored.

Scientific studies, particularly in psychology, suggest that an element of the psyche is reaching out to deliver a message to your conscious mind.

Either way, pay close attention to messages the characters depicted in these dreams advises, warns, etc.

[Bullwinkle925]

38. I don't know if any messages are trying to get through. Seems just the

feeling of their 'presence' lingers - and they stay with me for several hours upon awakening. All I know is that I'm saddened by the losses.

[Serial Mom]

35. Wow - I've been noticing that more lately!

I have no idea why.

I dream more about my mom - she passed when I was 22 and I am now in my mid 50's. I dreaming more and more about her - I realize how much I missed her during all these years.

Others have been in my dreams too - my dad - lost him when I was 37 and my grandparents.

It's like I see them in a way that I appreciate them and what they stood for more now than when I was young.

[Bullwinkle925]

37. Yes - my mother shows up quite a bit, although she doesn't really

speak to me. I've also, over the past few years, been dreaming about houses where I've grown up. Houses have played an important part in my dreams - they keep recurring frequently as well.

[Serial Mom]

40. Whoa! Me too!

I just had a dream 2 nights ago that I went to the house my dad had built when I was 2 yr. old and asked the people to let me go in and see it. I did, in my dream - saw the fireplace, the kitchen, etc.

[Bullwinkle925]

42. I do, indeed, wonder if it is relecting upon our 'lives'. Yearning for

those care-free days, perhaps?

Hard for me to know as "I never used to be this old before"!

[MamaBear]

41. I think of it as a reaffirmation

When people on the other side check in with me, I consider it a reaffirmation of what was between us when they were here.

I welcome their continuing presence and interest.

Some will argue that it's "just my imagination." Even if so, I can ask myself why I'm brought to this or that person at a particular time, or what this or that one may have for me in this circumstance.

Either way, I think it's lovely.

[BurtWorm]

43. That has always happened to me. (I'm 47, for the record)

When I was 5, I dreamt about a neighbor's dog that had died--my first experience with death of a "loved one." I have always had dreams about people and pets I've lost. And while I'm dreaming, I know they're dead, and it's a pleasure to see them alive again.

[Bullwinkle925]

44. That's interesting. I lost a dearly beloved step-father when I was 9 ...

I still feel like I'm dealing with his loss, but he has never visited me. I wish he would. I wonder if/how your dreams will change over the next few years when you pass that '50' threshold?

[BurtWorm]

45. Will they be populated only by people I've lost?

:shrug:

[Bullwinkle925]

47. The dream I had the other day regarding my brother-in-law who has passed

actually included a lot of members of our family who knew Eddie and are still here. So perhaps it was just a family get-together, if you will?? Although Eddie was behaving in a much more 'center-of-stage' behavior than he did while he was among us.

[SoCalDem]

46. I always dream about weird stuff..and rarely about people I know

Just a few days ago, I dreamed that someone put a spider in my mouth..and said "it's a new anesthetic"..

and another dream had Robert Redford giving me a ride home, and then driving the car off a cliff like Thelma & Louise..(Redford's not a "crush" of mine..I had just watched him on FSTV, and he must have been lodged in a wrinkly of my brain when I fell asleep)

I have also dreamed about placed I visited as a kid..

[mtnester]

50. Even at my tender age of 46

The revisiting of my memories involve things further back than they used to...if that makes any sense.

More childhood memories, more happy ones too for that matter.

[Bullwinkle925]

51. Yes - I think a poster above hit the nail on the head - we are too

busy in our 20's and 30's to do any reflecting. After the 40's hit, I think our subconscious does go back in time, if you will, to less stressful and happier days perhaps? Just a thought.
But, I have been visited several times this week by my loved ones. It is eerie.

[mtnester]

52. I am happy for you...I wish my mother would visit me

But, as a wise person told me, I must not be ready yet.

Sigh..I miss her.

[kskiska]

54. Once in a while

but what I find strange is that sometimes, when I'm just about to drop off to sleep, I hear my mother's voice say my name (a childhood nickname that very few people use anymore) just as clear as day. It's very disconcerting, especially when I hadn't been thinking of her at that moment. It just comes out of the blue.

[Bullwinkle925]

55. I think that's extra-special. I'd love to hear my mother's voice again.

What a touching moment for you.

[kskiska]

57. Actually, it's a little startling

and spooky.

[Bullwinkle925]

58. does it happen every evening? interesting.

[kskiska]

59. Oh, no, thankfully.

Only a handful times over the last year or so.

[Jazzgirl]

60. I find myself having more dreams of passed loved-ones.

My Dad died in January and was actually the first person that close to me to pass away. I know I have weird dreams about people I've know that are gone. I'm over 50.....My Mom told me years ago that this was going to be the beginning of the time when important people pass on. She said it would be hard....she was right.

[Raine]

61. Happens to me quite often

(I'm 55) I think it's cause more and more of my loved ones are gone and I miss them so much. :-( I have to say that I know I'm depressed and think more and more about the past, so maybe it is depression

[Bullwinkle925]

62. After having read all these posts, I think it must be a combination

of the natural aging process with a touch of depressive nostalgia (just made up that dx).
I will attempt to pay more attention to see if there seems to be a message hidden within the dreams.