Baby Left in Minivan All Day Dies

[Yollam]

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2006/06/29/national/a074622D54.DTL

N.D. Baby Left in Minivan All Day Dies
Thursday, June 29, 2006

(06-29) 07:46 PDT Grand Forks, N.D. (AP) --

A 5-month-old girl died after being left all day in a minivan when her mother apparently forgot to take her to a day care center, authorities said.

Police Sgt. Jeff Burgess said the mother drove to the day care about 5:30 p.m. Wednesday after leaving work, and was told she had not dropped the girl off earlier.

"They ran out to her vehicle, and the infant was still in the car seat in the vehicle," Burgess said.

Curt Kreun, the owner of the Wonder Years 2 day care center, said authorities were called and staff members tried unsuccessfully to revive the baby.




Aww Jesus. How does this happen? This breaks my heart every time I see it. Over and over again. I don't doubt that this woman made an honest mistake and spaced and forgot her baby, but Jesus! I have two boys, and I never forget about them. I certainly have never forgotten and left them in a car, or a park, or anywhere else. What are these parents' minds focusing on?

My sincere condolences to the Mom. I'm sure she's going through pure hell. I just wish I could understand this stuff. :(

[redqueen]

1. I don't understand it, either.

I simply cannot fathom just completely *forgetting* about a child. I just can't.

My heart breaks for the whole family. :(

[bigscott]

3. when my son was born

he immediately became the focus of my being - I cannot understand how you can FORGET your child is strapped in your car.

[mtnester]

12. Exactly - all you DO is think about, listen for, and watch

the child. Especially after 5 months when everything is a permanent habit involving the child.

No one, without having some other reason or some other issues, forgets to take their child to day care after taking them there for a few months every work day.

Inconceivable.

[redqueen]

16. Exactly...

now that mine are older, I don't look at them in the rearview every single solitary chance I get...

But when they couldn't speak to let me know if they were uncomfortable or whatever? I surely did... every single chance I got. Every stoplight. Every stop sign. Every pause to wait for traffic so I could turn... every. single. time.

[TheDebbieDee]

44. I get it ......you guys forgot to put the sarcasm smilie

in your posts..........

That must be it!

[Yollam]

53. What are you talking about?

Do you have kids? Why do I suspect that you don't?

[TheDebbieDee]

63. You suspect wrong.....I have 2 daughters, they are 22 and 19

And, although everyone adores their children, only someone living on Easy Street or living an unbalanced, unhealthy life, would be able to make their child(ren) the center, the entire focus of their life 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Further down in this thread, posters have wondered if the mother was addicted, or had problems bonding with the child emotionally (I'm guessing that the mother was supposed to FEEL that the child was in the car - like Counselor Troy in Star Trek or something), or was using the incident as a cover for murdering the child.

Can any of you imagine that the child fell asleep in the car seat, and since the child was quiet, the mother didn't think to stop at the sitter's (she may indeed have had other things on her mind). This is not to compare dropping off the baby at the sitter with using turn signals as you drive, but most of us are in the habit of using our turn signals. Did you use them every time you made a turn on your way to work this morning? How can you be sure?

It's a horrible thing to have happen to anyone, especially for that baby!
But it doesn't necessarily mean that the mother was a bad mother or a terrible person. I'm quite sure that she is punishing herself harder than any judge or jury could punish her.

That's just my 2 cents..........

[Yollam]

70. Well, I hardly live on easy street.

I supported a wife and 2 kids on a $24K income in a crappy apartment in San Francisco up til this spring, (when we left the country for good) and I can't fathom that kind of inattention.

I would have noticed even a quiet sleeping baby in the back of my clunky old Ford Escort. Maybe her minivan was just too big - I'm not sure. I admit it's possible that all the distractions were just too much on that given day, but it's perfectly reasonable to suspect that drugs may have played a part.

But many, if not most of the posters have expressed sympathy for the mother, despite the fact that it was the baby who woke up all alone in a sweltering car, only to die slowly as noone answered to her cries. I feel terrible for the mother, yes, but hell yes, if I was the grandmother, I'd probably slap her face and ask her "What the hell were you thinking? Were you hung over? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS??!" It is a perfectly normal reaction.

[TheDebbieDee]

71. I'm sure that most of the posters feel sorry for the mother

because she has to live with what happened for the rest of her life.

That poor baby's suffering is over, the mom's suffering is just beginning!

[Yollam]

73. Well, yes.

I think it's possible to be furious at her and feel sorry for her at the same time.

[Yollam]

5. The weird thing is, the dead infant was in the van after work.

And yet, when she got in the car to go to the day care, she STILL didn't see the baby there! Was she way in a back row of seats?

Unbelievable.

[malaise]

20. Something's wrong here

This is unbelievable.

[redqueen]

That level of unawareness of your surroundings...

could be dangerous in a host of ways. Any self-defense class teaches you to always be aware of your surroundings, whether you're caring for an infant or not.

It really is unbelievable.

[hobbit709]

2. How in the HELL

can you forget your OWN child?

[Arugula Latte]

4. That is the stuff of nightmares made real.

I have anxiety dreams like that, but I always wake up. This woman will never wake up from her nightmare. :(

[ileus]

6. too true....

I can't imagine the guilt a parent would have to live with.

[Yollam]

8. I saw the movie "Trainspotting" when my son was a few months old.

I'm a guy, mind you, but the scene where the druggies wake up after a several day heroin binge and find their baby dead just destroyed me. I cried and cried and it just freaked me out. The idea that any person could wake up to that - and the fear that somehow I might just oversleep and wake up to that just tore me up.

Weird that my young, single friends saw Trainspotting as a funny, hip film. That's about the only thing I really remember about it.

[GreenPartyVoter]

10. My bro warned me away from the film for that reason

[AlCzervik]

15. me too, that was one of the one disturbing scenes from any movie imo

awful.

[Nay]

68. I wish I could erase "Trainspotting" from my memory banks. That

scene with the dead baby made me cry for WEEKS. WEEKS. I wish I could forget it. And that was a MOVIE. If I had actually caused the death of my own baby like in "Trainspotting" or like the woman above, I would most certainly commit suicide. I couldn't live with that.

[cmkramer]

69. "Dragnet"

There's a "Dragnet" episode along those lines. It's about a nice young middle class couple -- good job, nice house in a nice neighborhood, the whole works. IOW, not hippie freaks. Anyway, it turns out this couple enjoys smoking pot and one day when they're getting high, their little girl drowns in the bathtub.

Getting back on topic, what a horrible tragedy. I agree with those who are saying the mother may have been under a lot of stress to the point where she did not realize the baby was in the van.

[GreenPartyVoter]

9. I wonder what the suicide rate is among parents in that situation

[redqueen]

22. I had dreams like that while I was pregnant the first time...

apparently it's a rather common dream for new moms to have.

Mother Nature's way of reminding us to stay focused?

I can't even imagine how she must feel... probably still in shock... that poor, poor family. :(

[Yollam]

28. I have a cousin...

...who lost both her daughter and her son in separate car crashes a couple of years apart. One was in their late teens, the other in their early 20s. When it happened she was already post-menopausal and divorced, so she wasn't having any more kids. I try to keep in touch with her from time to time, but it is difficult - what do you say to someone like that? There is nothing you can say that can make it better. She keeps active and engaged, and in relatively good spirits, but I'm sure there is not a day, or even an hour that goes by when she doesn't think of her kids. I'm glad for her that she believes in Heaven and angels, etc. I'm sure it's a comfort. That's a luxury we atheists don't have.

[GreenPartyVoter]

7. Oh God that poor family!

[dbackjon]

11. RIP little one

And despite the grief the woman must feel, she still needs to be prosecuted and jailed.

[Yollam]

17. If there were no drugs or alcohol involved...

...I would hope that she'd be prosecuted, but given community service. No punishment the law metes out could compare to what she's going through.

I hope she has a loving family to help her through this, and even if she does, she'll probably never fully heal.

[redqueen]

25. I hate to be a cynic...

but remember the woman who drowned her children in her car and tried to blame it on a 'black man'?

Perhaps that's something to keep in mind... just in case.

People are usually not punished for this sort of thing... a devious person might consider it a good way to...

[Yollam]

31. Wow, I thought I was a cynic...

...but that thought never crossed my mind. Anyone who could do that is a monster on par with the worst of the BFEE.

[redqueen]

35. Not proud to have thought of it...

but it did cross my mind. :(

[azurnoir]

Can this be a sign

of just how much stress people are under? Family, bills, jobs? The article doesn't say if this was her first child or not, but I will admit hat years ago when my oldest was about2 weeks old I forgot her in a restaurant, she was sleeping in an infant seat, I only got about 3 steps out the door when I remembered, but to forget all day? That is definately a sign of something, there should be more support for parents. My condolances for the family and the mother in particular.

edited for spelling

[redqueen]

19. Possibly, yes...

It's so sad, whatever the reason... so very tragic.

[azurnoir]

23. After that incident

I purchased a strap-on front carrier to make sure it never happened again.

[jadedconformist]

57. All I heard was strap-on

Then I remembered we were talking about something serious here. :shrug:

[recoveringrepublican]

34. did something similar after my 2nd was born

she was about a week old, my son was 14 months. I was exhausted. It was the first outing by myself with my two kids. I took my son in the house and it was about 5 seconds before I realized "gee yes you DO have another child you need to take in also". Never forgot either child after that, it freaked the hell out of me.

[leftyladyfrommo]

13. Someone needs to market a warning buzzer that goes off

when the car door opens - to remind people that the baby is still in the backseat.

When children fall asleep in their carriers in the backseat people simply don't realize they are still there.

A warning buzzer would remind them to look.

[Gormy Cuss]

24. Better yet, stop designing cars so that kids can't ride upfront.

I wish some smart auto designer would figure this out.

[leftyladyfrommo]

32. That, too.

[AlCzervik]

14. i really don't understand how this happens, i have a kid, my friends

have kids and none of us ever left our kids in the cars.

[Odin2005]

18. OMFG, how the hell do you forget about YOUR CHILD?

:cry:

This woman should be tossed in jail.

[alcibiades_mystery]

59. Five-month old, maybe Mom's sleep-deprived

And yes, sometimes people just space. Maybe she was interrupted? Who knows. Thrown in jail? I don't think so. This is a tragedy, not a criminal act.

[in_cog_ni_to]

21. How sad. How devastating! She must have had a lot on her mind.

I just don't know how it's possible to forget about your baby? How could that be? There's not a day that goes by where my son isn't the center of my being and when he was a baby, it was even more so. There's no way in hell he would have been forgotten in a car. In fact, I took him out of the car EVERY TIME I got out of it...even at a gas station to pay for gas. He was NEVER left in the car for any reason.

She must have been prepoccupied and unfortunately, she will have to live with this for the rest of her life. My condolences to her. This is just so damn sad.:(

[NiteOwll]

26. That is so sad

She must have been very preoccupied with her job. I think for most mothers your baby is the first thought you have when you wake up, the last thought you have before you go to sleep, and about 12,238,928 more thoughts in between. I don't think I would want to go on living if that happened to me. :cry:

[jsamuel]

27. Cars are not natural in human adaption.

We can't survive in a glass box. We have to realize that being in a car is dangerous. Like going swimming.

[MamaBear]

29. Some people fail to bond with their children

It's a symptom of a deeper mental illness (I forget which one). Unless a person had become aware of this before having a child (forgetting to feed a pet, for instance), they would never know.

I'm thinking that to forget a sleeping child, and then not have thought about the child again for a full work day, to me suggests a deeper problem.

Why punish when you can treat? It would seem to me that treatment is in order here.

I don't understand people whose first impulse is to punish, punish, punish. The US has the biggest prison population in the world. We need more?

[fishwax]

39. who's to say she didn't think about the baby all day, though?

She thought she had dropped the baby off at day care. It wasn't until she actually got to the day care to pick the baby up that she realized she had never dropped her off.

It's a minor distinction, perhaps, but I still think it significant. She might have thought about the baby a lot over the course of the day, but just thought that she had dropped her off. I wonder what the real cause was here.

I agree with you about the impulse to punish.

[TheDebbieDee]

66. I can easily imagine that your scenario is exactly

what happened!

[WinkyDink]

65. I've often said that I don't have a dog because I might forget about it.

[Beelzebud]

30. Time for prison.

If you are that god damned incapable of thinking of anything but yourself, it's time to go away for awhile.

Having a lot of "stuff" on your mind is no fucking excuse. People live their lives everyday by the millions, and don't lock their baby in a sun-powered oven all day long...

[lectrobyte]

33. Judge not too harshly. Stress, lack of sleep, force of habit, I can

see how this could easily happen. There but for the grace of God go I.

[Yollam]

36. I don't know about "easily happening"...

... especially the part about driving to the day care after work without noticing the CORPSE in her car.

However, it is possible that a confluence of distractions and preoccupations might have caused an honest mistake. In that case, I hope she is given lenient punishment, but she should be punished.

[lectrobyte]

48. You're right, "easily" is not the point I was getting at. "could happen"

would describe it better. Luckily the only stupid thing we did was leave the baby at home half a day when each of us thought the other one had it.

[MissB]

72. I agree.

That is the first thought that crosses my mind whenever I hear a story like that.

My second child had a nasty bout with colic. Many, many sleepless nights. I still had to get up and go to work the next day because calling in sick was simply not an option if I wanted to keep my job.

I can't imagine myself ever doing that, but I can imagine others perhaps making that mistake.

So sad for the child, and the family who is forever scarred.

[TheDebbieDee]

37. The complete lack of empathy displayed.....

by some of the posts in this thread is absolutely UNBELIEVABLE!

I thought only freepers and fundies could be this judgemental......

[TexasLady]

38. Well, I must be pretty rotten then

because by the time my third child was born, I was sitting on my front porch watching my 3 yr old, and had completely forgotten my new born baby inside for I KNOW a couple of hours...in a panic, when I remembered, I ran inside to check on him, and he was snoozin still. But it did shock me that he hadnt crossed my mind while I was preoccupied with another kid for two solid hours.

also, i was my mother's first born, and she was packing from a motel to catch a flight to move with my dad...said she had left me sitting on the bed, her and dad got into the cab, drove about half a mile, and mom said she screamed 'my baby!' and had the cabdriver rush back so she could get me.

so it does happen, im afraid. Luckily it was the only incident for myself that i recall, but it was a disturbing one.

[Yollam]

40. Forgetting a baby sleeping is a bit different than leaving one in a car...

ALL DAY, then driving the corpse to the day care and STILL not noticing it.

I'm glad you and your baby were okay, though

[alcibiades_mystery]

62. The people screaming for prison

Are fucking assholes. That's right. I said it.

Our daycare (which baby starts on Monday) has a policy that you MUST call them within half-hour of expected drop off time to let them know if the baby will be absent or late. Why this policy? To prevent just this sort of thing. They will call all of the numbers they collected for you to tell you that you haven't dropped the baby off yet. Within half an hour. Why didn't this daycare center have the same policy? Why?

[melissinha]

64. I like that policy

That should be something that is encouraged or enforced so things like this doesn't happen.

I swear when I have a chidl this story will have me more paranoid than I already am with checking my iron and checking the door 3 times.... I'm afraid it is something hta tcan happen to people, therefore I encourage safeguards like the one your daycare has....

[flyingobject]

75. thank YOU! that is a super idea

maybe that is one other way to protect the children of these
overworked and (probably) single parents.

smart idea.

[valerief]

41. When a distracted motorist forgets to stop for a red light and

smashes into another car causing the death of the other motorist, I think the forgetful motorist is punished. From what I can recall of these stories, and there have been a number of them over the past couple of years, the forgetful parent does not get punished.

I wonder if this is the forgetful parent's version of a very late abortion.

These people should be locked up and sterilized.

[nonconformist]

42. How horrible!

:cry:

That poor little baby! My condolences to the mother too... I cannot understand what she did at all, but I'm sure she's now trapped in a lifelong guilt-ridden hell.

[newportdadde]

43. I really don't get how that happens.

I have a 2 1/2 year old son and two 4 month old sons.

Now granted, going anywhere in our car is a circus act so its pretty hard to forget anybody back there which is why we are hermits right now.

I ask myself though, how the hell can you forget your kid? The worst I've ever done is leave both twins and big brother sleeping went downstairs and didn't realize that one baby had started fussing, and my wife came back in and found me not there and a crying baby.. it was my ass to say the least.

To leave in a car I just can't see it.

EDIT:
As an aside our neighbor's daughter(neighbor is a RW'r whos daughter got pregnant at 16 - good values) once let their 2 year old grandson get out of the house go down the street 2 houses and cross the street ending up in a neighbors yard..... crazy....

[dogday]

45. I don't know how one would forget about

one's child.. Every thought in head from the day my children were born has been about them.. I spent so many years watching over them an worrying about them, it is just incomprehensible how this could happen....

[truebrit71]

46. I feel terrible for the mother.....

....I can see in this day and age where once you have got into a routine with all of the stress and pressures that she might have thought she'd taken the child to day care. And to all of the sanctimonious buggers here that want her thrown in jail, do you think for a moment that prison will be any worse than what she will go through every single day of her life?

I have a child. One child. Whom I watch over like a hawk. She is now grown, but I know for a fact that there have been times when it slipped my mind that she was in the back seat, especially if she's dozed off as a little nipper. I didn't leave her alone all day, but I can see where you, as an adult, become so focused on the myriad of other things going on in our increasingly busy lives that it slips your mind.

I cannot fathom the depths of despair this poor woman must be feeling......

[PeaceProgProsp]

47. Sleep Deprivation. We need paid maternity/paternity leave like Sweden.

[lastliberalintexas]

52. Yes, even that "backwards" country of Mexico provides

better maternity leave to its people than we do. :(

[Rosemary2205]

49. Recommended

if only to remind people to protect the kids from our own over stressed too darn tired for words brain farts. People know when their mind has turned to mush and they can't concentrate. Better to call in exhausted just one day than get behind the wheel of a car a murder god only knows who.

IMHO of course, IMHO.

[lastliberalintexas]

54. If that was the case, she was likely afraid of losing her job

Workers in this country have very, very few rights anymore. Yet another travesty, along with the lack of adequate healthcare and maternity/paternity leaves.

[lastliberalintexas]

50. REAR FACING child seats

A 5 monthold should still be in a rear facing child seat, and thus this woman could have easily driven to the daycare with her child in the backseat and her not see the baby.

It's a very sad situation, and I'd be very interested to know what else is going on for this woman. Is she suffering from post-partum? Is he a single working mother with no support system whose child was up all night the night before? Is the woman ill (cold or flu, etc.) and taking medication because she is afraid to miss work? Was the woman just frazzled and had a mental lapse?

While I'm certainly not excusing this accident, so far there is no evidence to suggest that it was anything but an accident. A horrible one at that. There is a great deal of information needed before legal judgment can be passed on this woman, and I wish the people callilng for her head would stop and think before posting crap like that.

[alcibiades_mystery]

60. Delete

[lonestarnot]

51. Ahhhh. How terrible. Poor souls.

[raccoon]

55. Wonder if the mother is mentally ill or drug-addicted?

Seems like a few years back, somebody left a child in a hot car for hours while she played video poker or something similar, and the child died.

[Yollam]

56. Unfortunately that happens a lot at pachinko parlors here in Japan.

(Pachinko parlors are smoky, grubby slot machine gambling places patronized by scuzzy types here)

It has become such a problem that some parlors have started to put in little play areas where you can leave the kids while you sit for hours with your eyes glazed feeding your kids' food money to the pachinko machines. I guess it's better than having your kid die in a hot car.... :shrug:

[alcibiades_mystery]

58. The day care center should have called her within 1 hour of drop off time

Not that they're liable. But this tragedy could have been averted with some redundancy.

This mother will be reliving this day for the rest of her life. How utterly horrible.

I have a three month old. The longest I leave her alone in the car is the walk from clicking in her car seat to the driver's side door. Hell, I still check on her every 15 minutes when she's napping. Which I will go and do right now. God, it's heartbreaking.

[electron_blue]

61. how tragic. New moms can be so sleep-deprived. Put your purse in the back

with the baby, preferably with the keys to your office.

[renate]

67. that's an absolutely EXCELLENT idea

It'd be great if somebody would do public-service announcements about it.

My first thought when I read this story was that the woman was exhausted--up all night with the baby--and couldn't take the day off for fear of losing her job (or not wanting to waste a sick day because she needed to store them up for the times that the baby got sick). Sleep deprivation is as dangerous as being drunk.

Then I wondered whether she was on medication, for pain, post-partum depression, anxiety, etc (especially if it was combined with sleep deprivation). Once I asked our neighbor to watch our dog for the weekend and she said she would, as she'd done dozens of times before. We were gone for three days and two nights. When we got back our poor little dog's food and water bowls were bone dry; she'd peed on the floor but held in #2 for all that time, bless her heart, and by the way she ate and drank when she came back inside, it was clear she hadn't been taken care of the whole time we were gone. Our neighbor was on pain medication, and either didn't remember my asking her or didn't remember to take care of the dog. We didn't blame the neighbor, but thinking of what our dog had gone through broke our hearts, and it was neither our fault nor our child. I cannot imagine the relentless daily hell this woman will live with for the rest of her life.

[flyingobject]

74. I kept my daughter in the front passenger seat

but you hear all of these recommendations to put the baby
seat in the back seats.

Maybe they are wrong.

A working mother with a small child ends up with
too much on their minds.

Maybe it was a good thing I kept my daughter up front - no
missing her there.

But she was always a noisy or fussy kid, so no way
I could miss her, unless I passed out from fatigue.