Dealing with racism (How do you deal with this? Input needed)

[helderheid]

I belong to a online moms group and one of the mothers is having a problem with a boy next door constantly ending up in her yard. I suggested she talk to the boy's parents. Many others had similar suggestions. Today she wrote 2 emails that had me so offended. She mentioned that his parents didn't speak English and that she wanted to "move out of this infested neighborhood" and that it wasn't "like this 8 years ago" when she moved there. I've asked her what she means by infested and what wasn't it like 8 years ago. No response back yet. I have been bothered by this all day. My husband is an immigrant from Europe. My sister-in-law is an immigrant from Mexico City. I am truly offended. I am shocked too that I am the only one to ask her to explain herself.

:mad:

[BayCityProgressive]

1. wow

That sucks and let me tell you. I know at least 7 Dems off the top of my head that talk like this. A girl I work with is an ardent Democrat yet states freely that she dislikes blacks. We have a long way to go in this country. I would explain to her politely why it offended you.

[helderheid]

2. i've been going over it in my head a dozen times and I want to do just

that but I'm afraid I'm too angry to explain politely - how would you? I was actually thinking of including this in my response:

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/phobia.html


I thought that might lend some humor to the situation but perhaps it would only piss her off.

[BayCityProgressive]

7. I would

just explain your family situation and explain that you can't lump a group of people together. If she is rude afterwards send the cartoon lol.

[helderheid]

9. THANK YOU for your idea. I think it's perfect. I don't want to be so

in her face and so loud that she can't hear what I'm saying.

[Cleita]

12. Thanks for the cartoon! Perfect!

[helderheid]

16. isn't that great? "Dangit, stop changin' the map!"

[Cleita]

17. The map was the best part. That's what I keep trying to tell

people, but saying it isn't as in your face as the visual is.

[helderheid]

18. it would be understandle if we weren't such a new country - talk about

short attention span!

[smokey nj]

3. Infested?!!!..........

I guess the mainstreaming of hate speech is having the desired effect. It would bother me too. Good for you for questioning her, although, I don't think she'll have the courage to respond.

[helderheid]

5. yes ... INFESTED!! My first thought was "like cockroaches?" Good GOD.

It made me sick to my stomach.

[smokey nj]

11. I feel bad for her children. n/t

[Truthiness Inspector]

4. It sounds like you handled it well

In fairness, though, if the other mother really and truly doesn't speak English it might be hard to talk to her about the problem. What was the "offending" kid doing anyway? That might shed some light on whether she is overreacting and racist or just frustrated, or of course it could be any combination.

[helderheid]

6. apparently he just gets in her yard and she wants him out. She said

the only thing that works is threatening him with his life. (!!!!)

[Truthiness Inspector]

13. The "infested" part is bad

I can understand not wanting random kids in your yard for liability reasons, etc. I have dogs, so a kid jumping into my yard could equal serious trouble.

I had that prob a few years ago, but it wasn't an "infestation" problem, it was kids being turds and trying to steal the fruits off my trees, lol.

Not sure what to tell you, because I think your email spoke for itself and you asked just the right questions. Her response, if it comes at all, should be interesting.

[helderheid]

15. I'll be sure to report back. By the way, welcome to DU!

:hi:

[marmar]

14. "Inested?" Sounds like a little more than frustrated....

Sounds pretty doggone racist to me.

[helderheid]

19. I sent her email to my mom (one of my best friends) to see if my reaction

was over the top but her response was very clear:

Whoa! The anger and narrow mindedness just leaps off the page. My advice, stay away from this woman

-------Original Message-------

To: Mom
Subject:


-------Original Message-------

From: helderheid
Date: 06/22/06 11:56:28
To:
Subject:

What do you mean by "infested"?

-------Original Message-------

From:
Subject:
He is a little better now, I pretty much had to threaten his life our yard
is fenced. Now I have another problem with this little sh-- next door, his
family doesn't teach English and the language that is used so often in this
state/country. I have told this one to stay out, and then he looks at me
like, (well I won't say) I have to physically remove him from the yard.
Hell his parents don't even watch them hardly at all. So unfortunately I
am kicking a dead horse on this boy. Without threatening our lives, I am
just at my wits end on what do to. I just want out of this infested
neighborhood.

[smokey nj]

20. Your mom is right.......

Her own grasp of the English lanuage leaves a lot to be desired. Talk about the pot and kettle.

[helderheid]

21. I thought the very same thing! I had hired her previously to clean my

house (I never inhereted that gene) but now I just cannot bring myself to give her another dime unless she can understand what she's said and how horrific it is.

[Cleita]

8. Welcome to my world.

I have listened to crap like this all my life. It is very offensive. Tell her to build a fence. That seems to be the solution being offered these days for keeping out people you don't like. Really, I'm building a fence to keep my neighbor's horse from eating my ornamental plants and the neighbors' dogs from pooping in my yard. It should work for a kid. Then tell her to plant hedges all around her house. That way she doesn't have to offend her eyes looking at the infestation that seems to bother her so much.

[helderheid]

10. :) Damn. What is WRONG with people??

[helderheid]

22. how DO you deal with it?

[Cleita]

23. Not as well as I'd like.

I do tell them that I'm Hispanic if they want to stop what they are saying now. Then I walk away and have as little to do with them as possible. I've been fortunate to have good support from friends and co-workers so the racist usually fades away. I wouldn't want to confront a bunch of white supremists though.

[helderheid]

24. I am so sorry

I was an immigrant to Holland and experienced that end of things. It changes you.

[Cleita]

25. In Holland? Wow, I thought they were super liberal and

tolerant there. What happened?