Another frustrating email makes the rounds

[ariellyn]

Deck of Cards

It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.

The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.
As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.

Just then an army sergeant came in and said , "Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?"

The soldier replied, "I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord."

The sergeant said, "Looks to me like you're going to play cards."
The soldier said, "No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards."

The sergeant asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?"

"You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.

The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments.

The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.

The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

The Five is for the five virgins. There were ten but only five of them were glorified.

The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.
The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.

The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives - the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.
The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.

The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.

The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.
The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.

The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.

When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.

There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.
The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.
Each suit has thirteen cards - there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.
So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for."

The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, "Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?"

Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting their lives on the line fighting.

Prayer for the Military.

Please keep the wheel rolling. It will only take a few seconds of your time, but it'll be worth it to read on....

Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.
Protect them.

Bless them and their families.

I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

Amen.

When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our servicemen and women all around the world.
There is nothing attached, but this can be very powerful.
Of all the gifts you could give a Soldier, prayer is the very best one.
Do not stop the wheel, please - just send this on.

[johnnie]

1. That's based on an old "song"

I believe Tex Ritter made it famous.

[Jazz2006]

23. Yes, I remember hearing it a long time ago...

Not being a country & western fan, I don't remember the name of the singer, but it definitely comes from that song.

[KyuzoGator]

2. Last time I checked, the Jack is not the Joker.

But then again...I'm also not a total fucking moron, either.

[chelsea0011]

3. Poor Jack. What the hell did that card do to deserve this?

[LSK]

4. im sick of these STUPID FICTIONAL emails

THEY ARE MADE UP BULLSHIT. And thousands of IDIOTS fall for this shit and base their whole world view on FICTION.

If these idiots cared for the troops, they wouldnt PRAY, they should WRITE THEIR CONGRESSMAN TO BRING THEM HOME. :grr:

[Master Mahon]

17. My sentiments exactly

Some 145,000 an hour CEO sits around in his office all day making all this stupid shit up, and the half-wits out there eat it up like dogs that eat their own sh_t!

[jedr]

18. Just received one about a navy seal who punches out an;

Atheist professer....had about 30 names on it so I replied to all. Told them that it never happened and was little more than a bar story. Told them the the truth is a group of right wing christians who are disrupting military funerals because they feel that they were killed because god hates homosexuals. Recommended that they deal with reality and write their congressmen and help stop this practice plus the back to back tours in a war zone and cutting of vet. benifits.......just waiting for the hate mail to roll in. This BS needs to be stooped in it's tracks by all who receive them.

[deadparrot]

5. Why I love Snopes:

http://www.snopes.com/glurge/cards.htm

[ariellyn]

21. Perfect response to the sender: I'll forward the link. nt

[Radio_Lady]

22. Snopes really works on most submissions. Use it all the time!

[mrcheerful]

6. Besides the fact that no soldier could "decide" to stay out of the field.

[Systematic Chaos]

7. Unless they're "The Decider (tm)" of course

:eyes:

[Ilsa]

12. With the help of Harriet Miers on the draft board. eom

[Duncan Grant]

8. An overly sentimental metaphor makes me gag.

As someone who appreciates irony I feel it's my duty to point out that some Pentecostal sects regard playing cards as "the work of the Devil"...

[MadHound]

9. Once again the fundies and neo-con display their historical ignorance

Playing cards are directly derived from tarot cards, which are used for telling fortunes and espying the future, both considered immoral and evil by these people. Geez, I wish these people would get their dogma straight. In fact playing cards, even modern ones, is considered immoral in your more fundemental religions. Southern Baptists dogma states that there is to be no drinking, dancing or card playing, and most evangelical sects follow this lead.

[TlalocW]

10. Actually...

Playing cards originated from China and/or India, and they spread like wildfire in the late 1300s in Europe and went through various permutations. The Tarot deck didn't show up until the 15th century.

But you're right about their being immoral. I'm an entertainer on the side (balloons and magic), and I'm in Tulsa, and there are times when you can insult someone by offering to show them a card trick. I was in one of the local magic stores when two high schoolers in ties came in and wanted to get a trick to do for a church talent show. The owner took a special deck of cards out from the display case, and the kids objected and told him they couldn't do a card trick because the Joker represents Jesus. The owner of the store has this great exasperated look that he gives people who say stupid things, which makes a person feel two inches tall. He gave them a five minute history lessons on cards then showed them some gospel magic tricks.

TlalocW

[The Stranger]

11. Actually, actually . . .

The tarot has four suites and each corresponds to one in a deck of playing cards. Dan Brown covers it in The Da Vinci Code.

[Sequoia]

13. Where's the Queen?

I really hate these emails and expect I'll get one from my well-meaning friend who's forever forwarding me crap like this.

[Master Mahon]

14. The Joker is for the stupid ass

that buys this line of crap!

[catnhatnh]

15. Shortly after the private opened and cleaned the seargent out ....

...With twenty commandments over 8 gospels....the seargent was heard to mutter,"Holy Shit!".

[donco6]

16. They can have Bibles. Where'd they get that?

The soldier said, "No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards."

Baloney. There are whole organizations that do nothing but provide bibles specifically for soldiers in Iraq and other places.

[dipsydoodle]

19. If I get it I'll reply with

what is it about f*ck off you can't quite grasp.

Fancy dragging out a 50 or so year song and subverting it for that use.:puke:

[jmowreader]

20. Three bullshit items, otherwise fairly innocuous

The "we can't have Bibles in this country" line is a side-splitter. Didn't we invade Iraq so every Iraqi could have a good Christmas?

The "the guns, mortars and land mines were silent" line was pretty good too. Who ever heard of a whole war going silent for just one day?

And that "no, sir" line? Let us all recall the Army Sergeant's mantra: Don't call me sir, I work for a living.

Other than that...I guess the fundies claim the various cards have Biblical meanings so they can play Texas Hold-em without feeling guilty.