Jesus: I did not NAIL MYSELF to the cross!

[rodeodance]

good laugh--How the RW can twist anything.
I got from an email from a friend.


------ Original Message --------
Subject: dialogue parody
Date: Sat, 10 Jun 2006 20:15:54 -0500


Saturday, June 10, 2006
Parody of the Day

Via Crooked Timber, a sample of the transcript of Meet the Press in Hell from World O' Crap.


Russert: Mr. Christ, what do you say to accusations that you’re opposed to fighting a battle to bring about the end of all life on Earth because you’re an Anti-Semite?

Jesus: Well, first of all, I’d like to point out that I myself am Jewish—

Ann Coulter: Yeah! Just like George Soros. Another Jew who somehow figured out a way to avoid crucifixion.

Jesus: I WAS crucified! (DISPLAYS WOUNDS IN HANDS)

Michelle Malkin: Why don’t people ask him more specific questions about the nails in his hands and feet? There are legitimate questions about whether or not they were self-inflicted wounds.

Russert: What do you mean self-inflicted? Are you suggesting Mr. Christ crucified himself on purpose?

Michelle Malkin: Did you read the book by Barabbas and the Golgotha Veterans for Truth? Some of the thieves who were actually crucified have made allegations that these were self-inflicted wounds.

Jesus: I did not NAIL MYSELF to the cross!

[sweetheart]

1. He did it as an act of war

Jesus was a master of asymmetrical warfare, and he did not respect life,
that is why he nailed himself up.

[grytpype]

2. "You can't crucify yourself... you can never get the the last nail in."

[Epiphany4z]

3. can you just hear

Ann going on about how Jesus should not be allowed to talk because he was crucified and he is just using it ...how do we know he didn't enjoy it

[zbdent]

4. I'll have to dig up the story and author, but there was an old SF tale

where a time traveller went back to research Christ . . . calculations were off by years and distance, and his "time machine" was kaput . . . and he was injured.

After getting things together, he found Jesus . . . a dimwitted, mentally retarded kid living at home, never capable to become the "historical figure" that Jesus became.

Well-versed in the Bible, but not really believing in it, he played out the part, to the point where he even died to keep the history in place . . .