Some Ohio families refuse to claim bodies

[Jon8503]

Scary that the family is coming to this in so many cases.

AKRON, Ohio - Thomas Tellis died in March, but his cremated remains are still waiting to be claimed at a Canton funeral home. Shortly after the 89-year-old's death, investigators located Tellis' daughter, but the woman, who was born out of wedlock and raised by another man, refused to claim Tellis' body.
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The case is part of what coroners and funeral directors see as a disturbing trend: bodies going unclaimed because relatives are either unwilling or unable to shoulder the responsibility or expense of burying the dead.

Often, the reasons are economic. Funeral costs average more than $6,000, and that can create a burden for people struggling to make ends meet, said Harry Campbell, an investigator with the Stark County coroner's office.

While Stark County deals with only a handful of unclaimed bodies every year, more populous urban counties, such as Cleveland and Columbus, see a greater number. Last year Cuyahoga County investigated 43 cases. Franklin County had more than 140.

While these cases amount to only a fraction of the bodies that coroner's offices tend to annually, they are among the most disheartening.

"It's a fairly widespread issue," said Dr. Lisa Kohler, Summit County medical examiner. "Either the family members cannot or will not take financial responsibility for burying their loved one, or we cannot find next of kin.

More at link:


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060612/ap_on_re_us/unclaimed_dead;_ylt=AhlziqhqJZpwDSWYd3PJ5Pms0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3b2NibDltBHNlYwM3MTY-
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[Minnesota Libra]

1. That is so sad to think families choose or are forced to.........

....make such choices. :cry:I can understand families being forced to make those hard economic choices but I think it's horribly sad to be forced into a decision like that.:cry: Oh, but ones who can afford to bury their family members and purposely choose not to seem especially cold hearted to me. Must be a few :puke: Mann Coulter wannabes.:wtf:

[Jon8503]

3. Had no idea how widespread this was. Where are all of those

family value candidates, everything for the family. Could it be that the family values is only focused on the wealthy. Tax cuts, etc. Interesting this story is Ohio also.

[Minnesota Libra]

5. What is going on in Ohio that so many of these truly.................

....screwed up, hateful, mean spirited, lying about family values neocon/fundie types are coming from Ohio??:scared: I think we need to start checking the ground and the water in Ohio to prevent whatever virus has hit there from spreading further.:banghead:

[izzie]

2. This happened to me.

I waited for the money from SS to pay off that part of my bill for my mother in law and it was the last of the bill. If I recall it was about 3oo dollars and these people really came after me. I could not believe I was getting nasty letters from them so had to pay out of my own pocket and wait for SS to do its thing. I understand what people are doing. With no help from her son I had a real hard time on this. With another member of our family, some what not near, and we had to do something for her young children so we went to state, town and a church and they all helped. If the people are not direct to you it is a hard bill to pay if you can pay it. On top of that a plot is so high you must look for some place in a family plot that they will let you use. I have even run into some in back yards. With so many basenesses for profit getting into that part it will be a real problem soon. CEO's do want their big incomes even in the business.

[noamnety]

4. I'm going to play devil's advocate here

If you believe dead is dead, and whatever you do to the remains is of no difference to the dead person because they have no awareness of it, and you don't want the ashes, what exactly are you paying thousands of dollars for?

I'm a little suspicious of people saying it's not a legal obligation, it's a moral one. A moral obligation to whom?

[shadowknows69]

6. Society's rituals

We must make up the body and put it on display in a banquet of misery for all to see. My funeral is going to have my favorite chair, empty, a keg of beer and my favorite music and my friends are ordered to party and remember the good times.

[noamnety]

7. I just want to be quietly disappeared

and I do NOT want a funeral. I'm sure my family will do it anyway, but I actively don't want one, I don't like the thought of them all standing around looking at bad photos of me or worse yet gawking at my body.

At the very least, introverts should be excused from the whole tawdry display.



If I found out my second cousin Edna that I saw twice a year died and I was the closest relative, there'd be nothing in me that felt obligated to pay a funeral director a few months of my salary for his pomp and ceremony.

[Debau2005]

9. I have asked

to be cremated. And if my family feels the need for some sort of wake, to have a closed casket. I want to be remembered in a good way, not as a body in a box.

I have to disagree with those that think picking up the remains is a moral issue. The only reason I participated in planning the funeral for my father was to help my brother. My father was an abusive man, who mistreated us for most of our lives. The greatest invention for me was caller id. I no longer had to take his calls. Of course near the end of his life, he decided to become the "loving" father. I was 35 and no longer needed a "loving" father. My therapist had helped me through that stage in my twenties. So I felt no moral obligation to do anything for this man. Luckily he did have life insurance and a burial policy that paid for his expenses. I would NOT have paid to bury this man out of my own pocket and I would not have let my brother either. Amazingly he had "loving" sisters that had ideas on what the service and arrangements should be, but were not willing to part with a penny to see that it was done!

editted for spelling

[malaise]

13. Two of my aunts made it clear

that they did not want funerals. We had a get together for family and friends and played their favourite music, showed old family films and photo albums. Both had been cremated days before the gatherings and their ashes scattered where they requested. It was too cool but more than a few busy bodies were annoyed that we didn't have funeral services.

My better half and I have already stated that we're following the aunts.

[Arkansas Granny]

18. I have made it clear to my friends and family that I will be cremated

and I don't want any money wasted on a funeral service. My children have already decided where to scatter my ashes, which is a beautiful spot on a creek where we had many happy times and good memories. They can arrange what memorial service or get together, if any, they wish to have.

[malaise]

25. We'll be scattered in the sea

by our favourite beach.

[mtnester]

8. I have to tell you, while walking around in absolute shock at my mother's

funeral, it was a necessary "distraction" for us. Had we not had to organize, arrange, finalize, etc. I cannot tell you with certainty that any of us would have made it through the first week after my mother died. (She was an abrupt death, unexpected and a total shock).

I have spoken to others who have lost their loved ones suddenly, unexpectedly and tragically, and they agree...the funeral process, although heartbreaking and sad...the ritual and tedium of the details of it, kept them from losing their minds.

I barely remember the funeral still...I get something I can only refer to as "flashbacks" to things I do not remember at all until that moment.

In fairness, I do remember that it was atrocious what the costs were. Makeup? How much? I will come in and do my Mom's makeup damnit...what? Regulations my ass.

[Debau2005]

10. My favorite

is $50 for the guest book and blank thank you cards! Next time we will forgo this charge and go out and purchase our own. Luckily I had spoken to the funeral director before we arrived to make plans, so he knew that our budget was what was in the life insurance and we did not get a hard sell. I have had other family members that did get a little of the guilt about not purchasing the top of the line casket and crypt.

[mtnester]

12. Exactly..you go into that "room", and chose something you think

your loved one would like...and then, do you really ask how much and make a face once they tell you?

No offense to funeral home directors, but...does it have to be so damn expensive at the worst possible time?

[Vinca]

11. Dead is dead to me. Toss me in the compost pile.

If funeral homes weren't trying to squeeze grieving people out of as much money as possible, I might be more sympathetic. We had a guy start a crematorium nearby. He'd shake and bake a body for about $500 - you pick up the remains and that was that. The operation was appreciated around here by those who don't want an extravaganza at the time of our deaths. Guess what happened. The local undertakers reported him for not having a license. He claimed he didn't need one since he was only cremating. The funeral people pressed their claim and ran him out of business. Guess who's running the crematorium now? The funeral people.

[spinbaby]

15. How much does cremation cost anyway?

Seems that cremation with no funeral would be a no-fuss, low-cost option, but you make it sound very expensive.

[LostinVA]

19. Cremation is usually just as or even more expensive

In some states, you have to BUY A CASKET for the cremation.

I've read that Australia has very, very strict laws about the cost of funerals, just so stuff doesn't happen.

btw -- a friend of mine's family growing up owned a funeral business. I know it is a BUSINESS, but even then I didn't like some of its practices.

[mtnester]

22. In Ohio - many cemetaries require a casket and vault

if you are burying ashes in their particular cemetary.

[LostinVA]

23. I know it used to be that way in NC

Not sure if it still is. PLus, you had to buy a "casket" (mainly thick cardboard, but $$$ anyway) that the body was cremated in. Crazy.

[T Wolf]

14. The entire post-life business is such a racket....

Not that I believe in an afterlife, but I have warned my family that if they spend one goddamned dime on me after I croak, I will haunt their sorry asses to the point that they will wish they are the ones who are dead.

A dead body is nothing more than a decaying mass of biological matter that should be recycled - just put me in the flower beds and save a few bucks on mulch.

Having a high-maintenance (and high-cost) location to "remember the beloved" is not necessary. This is one instance where I like what I learned in temple growing up - our loved ones "live on earth in the acts of goodness they performed and the hearts of those who cherish their memories."

[aikoaiko]

16. That's what I was thinking --- scam.

I've told my wife that I prefer that as little money as possible be spent on me.

But then again, funerals are for the living.

[Tsiyu]

17. The markup on caskets is ridiculous

I worked in a casket factory for a short time.

The caskets are made of stamped sheets of metal, a nice paint job, some cheap foam and satin. Maybe a couple hundred bucks for the entire deal.

And they cost what? $3,000? $6,000? They are all made the same.

The undertakers make a killing - no pun intended.

[deaniac21]

30. I buried my dad in this.....

http://www.funeraldepot.com/WoodbridgePecan.html

It looked like expensive furniture.

[Midlodemocrat]

20. We just buried my FIL.

He was indigent, except that he has a daughter who owns his house and it is worth well over $600,000. His wife talked him into signing it over to her when she was alive because she would 'take care of them'.

Well, she sure did. She choked him, wouldn't feed him and broke a lamp over his head. So he came to live with us.

Guess who is the beneficiary of his insurance? You get one guess. It ain't us. And, I am sure the funeral is going to cost me somewhere in the area of $10,000.

And, to top it off, my husband just had a quadruple bypass which should run well into six figures.

[renate]

24. I'm sorry you have to deal with this burden

Both the financial burden and the unfairness of his daughter and wife getting away with not taking care of him.

Maybe the good karma coming your way will manifest as a complete and quick recovery for your husband. :hug: (And your FIL's wife and daughter's karma will take care of itself. It always does.)

[Strong Atheist]

21. I have an aunt and her family who I wouldn't

P*** on to put them out if they were all on fire...

I certainly wouldn't spend a dime on them if I was the only relative they could track down...

[catmandu57]

26. I'm wondering if we're coming to the last generation

that gets traditional funerals. Or, if that is something that will be in the domain of the wealthy as well, the rest of us will be made into crackers.

My wife's aunt died two weeks ago, the family barely scraped up enough mpney to have her cremated. They held a memorial service a week later, and will bury her ashes somewhere on their family farm.

[bumblebee1]

27. Luckily, my MIL pre-paid for her funeral. She even had the dress

she wanted to be buried in picked out. My husband's uncle called him later in the day and asked why the family didn't have a funeral mass for her. He also asked why there was no after funeral reception.

I asked my husband if he wanted to have a small reception at the house. He said "No." About the funeral mass, I asked him if that was what his mother wanted. Again, the answer was no. I told hubby that you complied with your mother's wishes. The priest performed a short service at the funeral home.

Funerals are for the living, not the dead.

[Marie26]

28. How unbelievably selfish.

What is wrong with people?

[w4rma]

29. Soldiers' families are being squeezed by the GOP for everything. (nt)