Mangoes for Nukes?

[Ediacara]

So, I was reading this article in the New York Times about India's love of mangoes. And I came across this paragraph:

"The Indian wing of DHL even offers a courier service specifically for mangoes, although the United States has long been absent from its list of destinations because of its ban on Indian mangoes. But the ban should soon be lifted as part of a deal struck by President Bush on his March visit to the country, which will also give India easier access to nuclear technology. Quid pro quo, as far as many Indians are concerned. "The U.S. is looking forward to eating Indian mangoes," he said at a press conference, cheering up a local press that he had earlier disappointed by not seeming too well-versed about cricket and Bollywood, two other Indian passions."

We're giving India nuclear technology, and they're giving us mangoes?

(I know it's more complicated than this, but reading this was a very WTF kind of moment)

[Bozita]

1. Leave no mangoes behind

[Leopolds Ghost]

2. So, a mangoes into a bar with a nukular suitcase and says... (nt)

[Leopolds Ghost]

3. How To Defend Oneself Against a Nation Armed with Ripe Fruit

Grapes, Bananas, Kumquats, Mangoes, AND Mangoes in Syrup.

("Wot about a sharpened stick?")

Suppose A.Q. Khan came up to you armed with a plump, juicy Indian Mango.

What would you do?

Mr. Ahmadinejad, attack me with this Mango. I will demonstrate.

Have at it, then!

BANG!

[dipsydoodle]

5. Obviously a Python fan

Here's the original :

http://www.jumpstation.ca/recroom/comedy/python/banana.html

[Leopolds Ghost]

6. IED? Oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against IEDs, do we?

Sgt. Cheney:

Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I'll tell you something my lad. When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of Indian Mangoes from Pakistan, don't come crying to me! Now, the passion fruit. When your assailant lunges at you with a passion fruit...

Look, look. All right, smarty-pants. You two, you two, come at me then with raspberries. Come on, both of you, whole basket each.

Kerry: No guns.

Cheney: No.

Gore: No 16-ton weights.

Cheney: No.

Edwards: No pointed sticks.

Cheney: Shut up.

Kerry: No rocks up in the ceiling.

Bush: No.

Kerry: And you won't kill us.

Cheney: I won't.

Dean: Promise.

Cheney: I promise I won't kill you. Now. Are you going to attack me?

Kerry and Edwards:
Oh, all right.

Sgt. Cheney:

Right, now don't rush me this time. Stalk me. Do it properly.
Stalk me. I'll turn me back. Stalk up behind me, close behind me,
then in with the redcurrants! Right? O.K. start moving. Now the
first thing to do when you're being stalked by an ugly mob with
redcurrants is to - release the tactical nuclear warheads!

[dipsydoodle]

7. Thanks for the effort

It's a shame there's no script for the End Of The World Cult sketch from The Secret Policeman's Ball.

[sweetheart]

8. bananas too would be nice

The first time i ever tasted a real banana was in india... a
proper one without any corporate fingers involved... it was small,
about half the size of a frozen-chiquta greenstick, and very sweet
and tasty, 3 times the taste, reallly banana.

Never liked mangos much. I wonder if they grow them in the toxic
ground at bopol and ship the heavy metals back to the US as a
gift wrapped in a mango.

[crizzo5137]

4. Ahh no, not Mango!