Posted These Anti-* Jokes In The Lounge. Whaddaya Think?

[Dinger]

Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman


"June 1st is the start of the hurricane season. President Bush is already stockpiling excuses." --David Letterman

"Secret Service records show that convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff visited the White House over 200 times in a ten-month period. 200 times! That's more times than President Bush was in the White House." --Jay Leno


"It's been announced that White House adviser Karl Rove will not be creating the day-to-day policy for the president anymore. You all know Karl Rove, he's the man they call Bush's brain. No, that's what they call him, Bush's brain. Now he's only going to be working part of the time, just like Bush's brain." --Jay Leno


"When he travels, Dick Cheney has certain things that he needs. He needs what he calls a 'downtime suite.' Coincidentally, George W. Bush also has a 'downtime suite.' It's called the Oval Office." --David Letterman

"President Bush is now being accused of leaking classified information. I was stunned. I was shocked. I said to myself, 'Wait, they let this guy see classified information.'" --David Letterman

"Saturday is April Fool's Day and President Bush ... has a great April Fool's joke planned. He's going to put out that old 'Mission Accomplished' banner." --David Letterman


"Did you hear about this? According to a recent poll, three out of five Americans believe George W. Bush should be impeached. And when he heard that, the president said, 'Cool, I love peaches.'" --David Letterman

"Everybody's excited about March Madness, the big NCAA tournament? Here's how it works: It starts at 65, then 64, then 32, then 16. It's just like Bush's approval rating." --David Letterman


"George Bush now wants to end our dependency on foreign oil. Nice to see him nippin' that in the bud." --David Letterman



"President Bush has embarked on an eight-day tour of the continent. He hopes this one goes better than the other ones he's made recently. Obviously he's not doing that well in North America , his South American trip had a few bumps , Europe seems to think the president doesn't care what they think, but hey, who cares what they think? They could at least thank him for what he's done for their burning effigy industry." --Stephen Colbert


"Yesterday at a press conference President Bush said he had not seen 'Brokeback Mountain.' However, he did express an interest in drilling for oil there" --David Letterman

"If President Bush is wiretapping my phone and listening to my calls, I think he actually should pay for half of the phone-sex bill." --David Letterman

"President Bush gave his State of the Union address. ... Did you notice, a lot of Republican congressmen were not applauding President Bush. It's hard when you're wearing handcuffs." --Jay Leno

"The State of the Union address was stopped 72 times last night for applause and another 30 for subpoenas." --David Letterman


"Tomorrow is Groundhog Day. That might not mean much to you but to President Bush it means a month off at the ranch." --David Letterman



"It's the start of a new year and President Bush wants to hit the ground bungling." --David Letterman

[NewJeffCT]

1. Thanks for the laughs!

They seem fine for here, too!

[muntrv]

2. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[RevCheesehead]

3. Ex-cellent!!

These are great! :rofl:

[Dinger]

4. Aww, Thanks. Just Googled "Anti-bu$h Jokes," & There They Were!

Glad y'all like 'em.:)

[RevCheesehead]

5. I got this one in my e-mail yesterday:

A little girl was walking around with a basket full of newborn kittens. The pretzeldent sees her, and asks what she has, so she shows them the kittens, which are just a few weeks old. He says, "those sure are cute... what kind of kittens are they?" She says, "they're Republicans."
So the blivet pats her on the head and walks away.

A couple of weeks later, the blivet and Karl Rove were walking together, and they saw the same girl. Chimpy says to Karl, "C'mere, you've got to see this." So he asks her to show KKKarl the kkkittens. She does, then Chimpy says "this is the best part" to KKKarl, then asks the girl "What kind of kittens are they?"

"They're Democrats." Chimpy sputters, getting angry, and says "But last time, you told me they were Republicans." The girl replies, "Oh, that was last week, before their eyes were opened."

[Dinger]

6. Oh, That's A Beaut! May I Pass It On?

Pretty please?O8)

[RevCheesehead]

10. Public domain.

The internets hold no secrets. Be my guest. :)

[northamericancitizen]

8. priceless..

[Vogon_Glory]

7. Quit Picking On The President! Those Jokes Show Media Bias!

"Quit picking on the President! Those jokes just show how liberal and biased the New York media is!" scream the hard-core right wingie-dingies.

:dunce: :tinfoilhat: :silly:

[Dinger]

12. Wah Wah Wah!

You don't say?
:rofl:

[northamericancitizen]

9. I love them . Thanks

[Richard Steele]

11. Forgive me in advance for dragging this one out again...

...but I just think it's the funniest B*sh joke since
that whole Brazillion craze. And it was conceived right here at DU, too!