I'm thinking of working with a personal trainer at my gym.

[tibbir]

My mother died in November and, while in the throes of very bad depression, I gained about 70 pounds. In fact, I'm back at my highest weight again (sigh). Things are looking up for me again emotionally but I feel like I need to kickstart my weight loss/physical fitness recovery. I've inherited a bit of money so things won't be so tight for me now so I'm thinking of working out with a physical trainer. Has anyone had experience with this? How long did you stay with them or do you drop out after getting things established.

For the time being, having so far to go, my approach is sort of open ended. I don't plan on cutting the relationship any time soon but maybe that's not the right approach.

Also, I was asked if I'd prefer a female or male trainer (I'm a woman in my mid-fifties). I'm kind of leaning towards working with a woman but maybe most experienced is the best bet.

Obviously I have no idea what I'm doing here so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[lavenderdiva]

1. I worked out with a trainer for about a year after my mother passed away

my experience was similar to yours. However, I had already gained the weight prior to her passing, and my main symptom at the time was depression. I thought that by working out, I could get a handle on my weight and depression all at the same time. I worked out with a female trainer, and we became friends. Which was good and bad. It was good, because I always looked forward to my 'workouts'. However, after a period of time, our friendship overshadowed the workouts, and I stopped giving it my best, and we just talked. Which was probably what I needed more at that time anyway. I started therapy after that, which went on for 2 years. Again, my therapist was a woman, and again, our friendship overshadowed the therapy sessions, to where when I came in, she wanted to know what I had done that weekend, etc! It wasn't very productive!

If I were able at some time in the future to again pursue either a trainer or therapist, I would seek out a male.

The best thing I did for my depression was to seek out a prescribing psychiatrist, who put me on anti-depressants. I had been diagnosed with major depression, and literally couldn't sleep at night, and would then sleep all day. I had no energy. I would cry at the drop of a hat. I was eating LOTS. I would sit in one place for hours. It was really terrible. I had a friend who was a social worker, who told me I had all the classical symptoms of depression, and referred me to a treatment program. Unfortunately, that program was a bunch of hooey, but I eventually found my way to a very good prescribing psychiatrist. I didn't go to him for therapy, but he would check my symptoms, give me an appropriate prescription. I'd go back to him monthly or so, so he would re-check my symptoms, and adjust my medication (note: he wasn't changing the medications I was taking, just the amounts). I was on the medication for about 2-3 years. It really helped me during the day and at night. I was on one medication for the day, and another at night (the night medication was an anti-depressant that had a side effect of making you sleepy).

I went to a Social Worker for therapy, but next time would choose a male. I had a friend who went to a male Social worker for 2 years, and he was helped tremendously. I really think that you need to keep searching until you find someone that will help you. There are plenty of good female and male therapists. Unfortunately, I got to the point where I ran out of money to pursue the therapy angle. If I had had the money, I would have changed therapists. But also, I was struggling with my own issues and the loss of both of my parents (in a 4 month period), so in some ways, I just have to be gentle with myself over the choices I made at the time. Looking back, I can see that I needed to change therapists, but at the time, I don't know that I would have seen it, or been able to make the change.

Be sure and get prescriptive treatment for your depression. That is the best help you can give yourself. Then seek help for your weight. Often times, if you will treat the cause, your weight will return to normal. I'm not saying, 'don't work out', as you will feel better after a workout. However, the root cause of your weight gain, it seems, is due to your depression. Fixing your weight may not improve the depression. Yes, it does release endorphins, etc. But the depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain.

Please feel free to PM me... Many, many hugs to you :hug:

[Longhorn]

4. The secret is out --

you're just too darn friendly for your own good! ;)

[lavenderdiva]

5. LOL!

:rofl: yep, and then there are those who think I'm bitchy!! Ya never know-

[tibbir]

6. Thanks a lot for your well thought out reply.

And I think you're right on the money about what you said. A great deal of what I've been dealing with is due to the depression I've had. To the point that my psychiatrist changed the medication regimen I've been on (added a new anti-depressant). And I go to a social worker for therapy each week and that's a real gift.

But I have a little extra money that I've inherited and I thought I'd use part of it to try to jump start my physical recovery from the past year. I went to my first workout today - with a male trainer. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go with a male or a female but I liked his style. I won't, as you warned, become best friends with him.

I'm looking forward to working out with him for a while until the money pinch is too great to see if it helps me with my physical condition plus maybe get the benefits from the endorphin boost.

[auntAgonist]

2. I have never used a trainer

I couldn't ever afford one. Best of luck to you in whatever you choose.

aA
:hug:

on edit: lavenderdiva's post to you is by far the best advice that anyone could offer. :hug:'s to both of you! Be good to yourself, don't be afraid to seek help where you need it.

for what it's worth, I'd prefer a male trainer. I think, I wouldn't feel like I was being compared to the svelte young lady that was helping this old heavy woman :) just my thoughts.


aA

[tibbir]

7. I decided to use your advice as to not use a female trainer.

Thanks for the words of wisdom - you're right. The comparison would not have been pretty. :eyes:

[lakemonster11]

3. I've never had a personal trainer

but I have done some physical therapy, which is similar in a lot of ways. The personal attention is definitely great, and it's nice not having to plan your own workout routine.

I've noticed from watching the personal trainers at my gym work with their clients that there's a big difference in style from one personal trainer to the next. I think it's probably important to find a personal trainer whose personality works well with yours. There's one personal trainer at my gym who's very tough on her clients, saying things like, "Oh, you can do better than that" and "You haven't been doing your ab exercises, have you?" She kind of scares me, to be honest, but I can see why some people would need that sort of "tough love" approach in order to make progress. Another of the personal trainers, a young guy, has a very encouraging and academic approach---he always explains why he's advocating a particular exercise and how his client can expect to improve if he or she trains regularly.

I think hiring a personal trainer to jumpstart your recovery is a good idea. It always helps me to have a workout buddy that will put some social pressure on me to go to the gym, though I've found that keeping a daily log of my activities works well, too---I don't like leaving blank pages.

Good luck.

[tibbir]

8. I met with my trainer on a trial basis today.

I'd never met him and didn't know what to think but I think it'll be a good match. I'm with you. I don't think having someone constantly really pushing me mentally would be so good. Louis just showed me what he wanted me to do and corrected me nicely if I wasn't getting it and then encouraged me as I worked. I felt myself giving close to 100% on my own, which is a lot more than I'd have done if I tried to direct myself at this stage. It's amazing how fast at my age that one loses strength. I was pathetic - today. I'm going to get better. The next time I go we're going to do some sort of metabolic test to determine what sort of nutritional program I should be following (as in eat less except for vegetables).