Looking for advice

[yasmina27]

Without boring you with all the long details, I have a friend who needs to go into alcohol detox (her decision). She has no health insurance. Where do I start finding her a place and getting her in?

[NMDemDist2]

1. usually a detox can be done medically in 2-3 days

most Metro areas have hospital wards that specialize in such.

Perhaps contact the local AA Central Office or the local office of National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. 1-800-662-HELP

[yasmina27]

2. Thanks

I ended up having to call 911 today. She was expressing suicidal thoughts, and after jumping through every hoop on the phone trying to get her in detox, I felt I had no choice.

She is safe for now, and sleeping.

I feel like I've totally let her down.

[NMDemDist2]

3. take her to an AA meeting

I got sober without medical intervention, unless she's drinking a LOT or over 50 she should be OK

symptoms to watch for, a headache that won't go away, check her bloodpressure or seizures, call 911

but many many millions have gotten sober with AA alone.

go with her and if you don't like the folks at the first meeting, try a few different ones.

good luck :hug:

[yasmina27]

4. She's had seizures in detox before

She's 45 (almost 46) and drinks ALOT - like at least a case of beer a day.

I called the hospital, and they said she's sleeping. They gave her IV Atavan, and it seems to have really knocked her out - which IMO is a good thing. Since she came to our house over 3 months ago, she hasn't gotten more than 4 hours of sleep at a stretch.

[NMDemDist2]

5. she's hospitalized?

good.

and when she gets out, take her directly to AA

she'll feel like shit, she won't want to go, she won't want strangers to see her in such a state, she's 'sick' she's tired, she's stinky

take her anyway.

[Broken_Hero]

6. Agreed, I'd also check into state run

programs, and fed programs(if offered in your area). A friend of mine went into rehab, and the State of Missouri covered a good portion of it(if not all)....

[yasmina27]

7. Well, she was discharged today

basically with instructions to continue drinking until she can stop under medical supervision.

She has an appointment tomorrow with a county agency that can provide funding for treatment. She's tired, stressed out, stinky, and threatening to just disappear. I told her if she disappears I never want to see her again, and her brother, whom she worships, told her the same thing.

I love her dearly, but have to let this go. I want to help her, but if she won't accept my help, then she's on her own.

[Broken_Hero]

8. Stay strong, and you have to do...

what you have to do, :hug:

[yasmina27]

9. An update

On Tuesday, I took her to the county office for funding for detox and rehab. What I found out, through using the ATM for her and giving her the receipt, is that she has one account with over $50,000 in it, and another account (she had to show a receipt to the county counselor to get rejected for public assistance) with almost $10,000. Up until then, I knew that she had inherited some money when her mother died, but had no idea how much. I never asked, since it was none of my business. However, I am now a bit ticked off that she has never offered us money to reimburse the expense of bringing her here from No. Carolina, she took out several of our new bushes with her inebriated driving (several hundred dollars worth), she cost me 2 days of work (which I took as sick days and did not lose pay; however, should I get ill or injured later on I may not have enough days left now to cover it), she also cost me time and money running her around through hoops to get funding for her rehab, when it is now obvious she could easily pay the cost herself. Her car and all her belongings are here in our house.

I'm sorry if I sound angry. I'm not really, just bothered by it all.

She is now in a rehab facility about 3 hours away. She was supposed to be discharged from detox yesterday. I told her counselor there that if she refused to continue into rehab, she is not welcome to stay here. The counselor convinced her to go into rehab - told her that if she refused, she would have to go to a woman's homeless shelter.

At some point, her brother and one of her sisters are supposed to come get her things. I talked to him Fri. evening, and they haven't called back to tell us when they are coming.

It's funny that she has given the rehab center the authority to provide medical information to me only - not to any of her family members.

I know MY family is VERY glad that I have told the facility that she is not welcome to live here any longer. I don't want to alienate her from me, but that is her decision. Once she is discharged, if she wants to live in our area, she can get her own place and she is welcome to visit any time.

Thanks again to all of you for your help and advice.

[NMDemDist2]

10. drunks are unlovely creatures sometimes and not very logical

stick to your guns when she gets out and encourage her to do after-care, either AA or through the local mental health center.

you done good.

:hug:

[yasmina27]

11. Thanks

She called 2 days ago. She was discharged and is now in a half-way house out in Harrisburg - near her brother and sisters. I can't believe they discharged her already, but my guess is that it's because she was there on county funding and they wanted to get rid of her.

When I talked to her, she spouted all the right talking points for a recovering alcoholic: "I know I can never pick up again", "My disease yadda yadda", "You did the right thing", "I'm so embarrassed". While I appreciate the sentiments, I also know that she's "been there, done that" many times before. I only hope she sticks with it this time.

She had lunch with her brother and sister, and her brother layed it on the line to her, that this is the last time they will help her out.

Funny thing is that I dreamt about her the morning of her call. In my dream, she came to our house, but said basically the same things she said to me on the phone.

[NMDemDist2]

12. we have a saying in AA

sometimes you gotta "fake it til you make it"

spouting all the talking points is a start.

prayers for your friend, you really went above and beyond, you're a good friend.

:hug: