Not doing so well today

[Tab]

Mid-40s, got clean in my 20s, but it only lasted 6 years. On and off ever since.

Emotionally burnt, tired, scared, have a zillion more responsibilities than I did when I was 20 (meaning, no $400/month apt, but instead a 340k house, no girlfriend, instead a wife and child, no pictures of my childhood dog, instead 5 dogs, a rabbit and two birds). I don't know what the future will bring. I have a lot of experience, knowledge, and potential, but I'm just totally totally totally burnt. I'm even asking for help, but it's not getting me far. There are a lot of people pulling for me, but I feel like I'm wasting their time.

My wife is visiting relatives for a few days, and I'm not keeping it together. I haven't had my meds in a number of days either. Aside from anti-depressants (which have a decent half-life and don't just shut down overnight) it's mainly my blood pressure meds. I should take them, but I don't really care.

[DemReadingDU]

1. Yeh, that's tough

Hang in there

:hug:


My daughter has depression, she finds it's important to take meds to keep her emotionally balanced. My son drinks too much. I read this forum to help me understand this disease. Just know that I care, we care about you here.

:hug:

[NMDemDist2]

2. action is the key my friend.

I know sometimes it's so hard to do what we need to do, but get up right now

take the pills

come back and tell me about it

are you watching HALT?? you're probably lonely and it's effecting the other three. Take your pills, make a call, eat some dinner and take a nap.

:hug:

[Tab]

3. Thanks, S

I'm trying.

I'm trying Real Hard Now.

It's not as easy as it used to be, and i though back then it was hard.

[NMDemDist2]

4. just today

let tomorrow worry about tomorrow

just today

:hug:

and pages 58-88 :evilgrin:

[Tab]

5. A little bit better today

but I really need to go away for a while - if only two weeks - escape and collect my mental shit together.

Thanks for all who provided support, particularly AZDemDist6...

If you'll excuse me now, I have to go strangle my dog which is again stealing something off the kitchen counter.

[NMDemDist2]

6. so glad to hear that Tab

:hug:

[w8liftinglady]

7. even though you're feeling betting,please take your meds

Your nagging friend here.PM me anytime you need to vent,friend.I am totally here.

[Kire]

8. things I've heard, together with my own thoughts

whatever you put before your recovery you lose

I've also heard, that recovery never promises you will keep your house, your marriage, your kids out of therapy, all that. Only freedom from active addiction. I've been dreaming big lately, but when I asked for feedback today, I was knocked down to earth again. One might say humbled. These things tend to happen. My best thinking got me here, is another slogan that has helped from time to time.

I don't even have kids, so I can't say much, but if I worry about anything else, my sick relatives I do have, even. I can't recover. If you're doing the right thing, you are making amends to them. . Even if they are not constantly in your thoughts every minute. Maybe someday you'll pay back the exact amount you owed, or maybe you'll be there for an emergency. Keep coming and you will hear stories of people making amends, just to show you there is hope.

Do what's right, the next right thing, to the true best of your ability, and at the end of the day, thank God you made it.

Keep coming, keep talking. If something is not right, change it. Don't be shocked if the next thing isn't right, either, though.


A progressive, incurable, fatal illness is a pretty tough thing to figure out. No one has yet.

Take what you want and leave the rest.

Good luck.