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Tab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-25-08 02:51 AM
Original message
Saying hi to the group
I'm new to this group, old to recovery. I went through this process some 20 years ago and now find myself going through it again.

It's less scary the second time around, but in many ways, it's harder.

I do have this lesson from the Himalayas. I'm still trying to learn from it myself.

When I first went through recovery, in my later 20s, I made a point to make my time in recovery better than anything I had previously done in my life. I did a lot of VERY positive things. I also tried to do some things I had always wanted to (theoretically dreaming about them on a barstool, although I didn't really go to bars). One of them was to go to Nepal. It was seemingly a magical place, unreachable, and good to fantasize about because you didn't have to make excuses if you couldn't pull it off.

Well, pulling it off IS possible. You need a passport, plane tickets, some equipment, and a ton of shots (medical, for disease), but yes - you can get on a plane and do it. You drive to Logan (Boston) airport or whatever, get on this plane or that, and eventually you'll be there. Just like flying anywhere else.

What I first learned was that time doesn't matter in the Himalayas. You don't say "when we will get there?". 2 p.m. or 4 p.m. doesn't matter. The closest you can cut it is "today" or "tomorrow".

You get up in the morning, pick a destination, and start walking. One foot in front of the other. You know where you're trying to get to, but there's no fixed timetable - you might get there at 3, you might get there at 6:30. The point is that if you put one foot in front of the other, ultimately you will get where you're going. The timing doesn't matter as long as you are making progress in the right direction.

I use that metaphor in a lot of things now. I may not be moving as fast in X, Y, or Z - whether my recovery or my goal (whatever it might be), but as long as I keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving in the right direction, I WILL GET THERE. I can't tell you what time, but all I can tell you is that I'm making progress is that direction.

It seems a simple pbilosophy, but sometimes the simplest ones work the best.

Just keep trying to make progress.

I'm not where I want to be, and I suspect others here aren't where they want to be, but just try to judge where you are compared to where you were. Are you making progress and going in the right direction? I'm not talking about speed or anything, just whether or not you're pointed the right way. If you are, don't give up. You will get there. A timemtable is not necessary, only the destination is.

Best to all.

- Tab
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-25-08 03:03 AM
Response to Original message
1. welcome darling, to our little corner of sanity
it's a lot like C&B but the recipes here are a bit more ethereal

:hi:

I like your Himalaya story. I like to remind myself often "There is no such thing as comparative pain" and of course, the old stand by "Don't judge your insides by other people's outsides"

Your journey is yours. and mine is mine.

May we meet each other on the road to happy destiny.

:pals:
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Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-26-08 01:25 PM
Response to Original message
2. Welcome, Tab!
I like your philosophy.

Even when we backtrack and fall into old, destructive behavior
patterns- we can start over again.

This journey isn't easy as we are dealing with the mindset of an alcoholic/addict.
As one guy at a meeting shared,
" My committee wakes us before I do and greets me with,
Good morning- I'm going to f*ck up your day!"

:rofl:- ain't it the truth?

This can be done.
Everyone here is proving that!

One Day at a Time-
sometimes
One Hour at a Time.
:)

Welcome,. again to our fun little group.

:hi: :pals:
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MediumBrownDog Donating Member (213 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-26-08 09:03 PM
Response to Original message
3. Tab - Welcome!
I am not a frequent poster, but I am an every day lurker, and there are those on this board who literally have saved my life with their words and encouragement and wisdom.

Please keep coming back. We all help each other. You don't know me, but you helped me to not drink tonight.

Thank you.


MBD
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-26-08 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. ....
:hi:

:hug:
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Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-27-08 12:24 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. HI MBD!
That's how we do it.
:)

:hug: :hi:
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Tab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 01:46 PM
Response to Original message
6. Hi everyone. For some reason these reponsses didn't show up on "My DUI"
But I appreciate it. I'm trying to reach out and talk to whoever I can. Make no mistake, this is new for me (reaching out), but I'm trying to do it.

I remember that when I started I didn't screw around with "one day at a time". I was down to "15 minutes at a time". I just promised myself I wouldn't do anything in the next fifteen minutes, and then fifteen minutes later I'd repeat that.

By the end (when I was years into it) I could speak in terms of seasons ("I won't drink this summer") but it took a long time to get that far.

Most of it was just "I won't do anything in the next fifteen minutes, and fifteen minutes from now I'll make the same promise again.".
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Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-30-08 10:56 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Hi Tab,
Unfortunately, the responses are posted for 48 hours,
after that they don't show on My DU ( DUI- :rofl:)

If 15 minutes gets you through the day, then 15 minutes
it is!

:hi: :pals:
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Justpat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-06-08 01:55 PM
Response to Original message
8. Welcome to the best place on the internets.



:hi:
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FloridaJudy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-10-08 04:23 AM
Response to Original message
9. Lovely
I really like that Himalayan metaphor...especially since I spent my first sober year praying to Mount Everest. I wasn't quite sure about God, but I could believe in a mountain.

Nice to have you with us.
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-10-08 11:47 AM
Response to Original message
10. Welcome to our corner of the internets!
:hi:
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Tab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-11-08 06:05 PM
Response to Original message
11. Thanks all
It's a tricky journey, but the more friends involved, the better.
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