Tell me not to give up on someone

[Robb]

Tell me it's possible to bounce back from being disappointed again and again.

It's my girlfriend's sister, and it's meth. And she's in another state, which I take as a great relief. I feel guilty, but two years of "telephone fear" and fresh nightmares appearing on my doorstep weekly have left me jaded.

She won't seek help, she doesn't want help. She uses their mother, an enabler. And her lip service to recovery is old, tired, and insincere as ever.

I tried. We both tried. We tried everything. Law enforcement stepped in. Pastors. Therapists. The best we got was about three weeks.

And now she's elsewhere, someone else's problem, and I feel like a cad for being satisfied about that.

[NMDemDist2]

1. good for you! enabling her is not the answer. tell her you love her

but hate what her actions are doing to the family and until she is ready you just have to protect your family

:hug:

it's very hard I know but don't feel bad, take care of you and your family first

[demosincebirth]

2. You're doing the right thing . Don't feel guilty.

At this stage of the game, to enable her you are doing more harm than good.
You might want to check out Ala-non. Its for wives, husbands, friends, etc, of addicts and alcoholics. Good luck.

[gizmo1979]

3. Whenever I was feeling guilty

someone would always say"some must die so the rest may live"I know it sounds cold,but it's true.

[dsc]

4. Is an intervention possible?

You need to get all the relatives on the same page. Unless the enablers stop enabling she is never going to go get help. I wish you luck, you are doing the hard thing but the right thing.

[KyndCulture]

5. SHE must decide to stop for herself.

No amount of trying to help or getting angry will work.

Trust me on this, it wasn't meth it was booze, and everytime i blacked out and did something stupid or embarrassing my boyfriend spent 2 days screaming at me. Did't work, made me rebel. Put the bottle right back in my hand.


20 days I go I drank an entire 5th of vodka straight from the bottle. I fell in the kitchen and cracked my head wide open. I woke up on he kitchen floor in a pool of blood. This was my last drink. I don't want to die, by accident or by disease. For me it was the breaking point that made me wake up and say, this is over. I'm gonna kill myself and I am too young to be acting like this every single day.

The only person that can make her want to stop is her, she will hit that enevitable rock bottom that we all hit. She has to,and she will realize what she is doing to her body, her family, her life.... god speed, I hope she does it soon.

Enabling her is the worst thing anyone could do. I knew how to con excuses out of everyone for me being drunk, I ran the gamate of lies. Course no one was buying it, the day I woke up with a slit open head was the first day I actually said to myself, I am not a social drinker. I am an alcoholc. A very liberating statement to admit it, even if only to yourself. Since, I have admitted it to the people my drinking really hurt. Hard ass thing to do, but most of them are so happy for me that I am getting sober, it was all forgiven.

[leftyladyfrommo]

6. Good for you.

It is so hard not to be an enabler when you really love someone. But it sure seems to be the only thing that works in the long run.

I have a good friend who is an alcoholic and this has been very hard for me. He is just the nicest, best person when he isn't drinking.

But so far so good. I think we are going on two weeks now. And he was going to go to AA but I don't know if he kept that promise.

[CountAllVotes]

7. you are so very right!

You might wish to read the thread I started here - "a foolish question" - I just "dealt" with "it" myself and I never thought I would have to again in my life.

I must never forget what my life was like when I was drinking over 20 years ago.

I thank something called GOD for my sobriety on a daily basis and I have learned to live one day at a time.

Two weeks in nothing!

Tell this person to give you a call after 6 months is my suggestion to you. It may well be a relationship you are better off without unfortunately.

Oh well, this person loses again and as for you, you simply must walk away from it and forget it is my advice.

Maybe this person will make it, maybe they will not.

It is a battle and few succeed. And yes, that is the reality of it.