In what ways are you "male?"

[Longhorn]

Of course, I mean the stereotypical male traits.

For example, I LOVE watching football, basketball, and baseball.

I handle all the finances in the family, including doing the income taxes.

When my husband and I go places, I almost always drive.

I rarely ask for help when I need to lift things or open jars.

So how do you shatter stereotypes? :D

[NashVegas]

1. My Record Collection

I've always had more albums than almost any guy I knew. And with a handful of exceptions, better taste =)

Hmmm...

In home decor and art, I prefer the line to the curve (mostly).

I'm sure there are many, many others, but they escape me right now. Good question.

[politicat]

2. I drive; I'm logical; I'm mathematically inclined; I love science and math

DH drives okay, but I drive better, and at greater fuel economy. So I do the driving whenever possible.

I am ruthlessly logical - emotional arguments don't appeal to me at all: show me facts or get out of my face.

I have no maternal instincts; children don't appeal to me and I find most parents crashing bores because their prime interest is so single minded. This also means that I have a very small amount of sympathy for people who have more children than they can afford, for people who don't parent well (hey, if you're going to do something, you should do it well), and for the choice to spawn in general. (Yes, this makes me evil. Oh, well....)

I love science, rationality, skeptical thinking. I can't fathom the appeal of the New Age mysticism and religion as a whole. (As it happens, women make up only 20% of all non-theists.) If I had it to do over, I would not have allowed my counselors to talk me out of medical school and into psychology. I would have gone into neurology.

I don't listen to pop. Punk, Hard alternative, and post-grunge are the norms, with a lot of EBM and electronica. Boy-bands never caught my eye (unless you count Depeche Mode and The Cure when I was young...)

I never understood the attraction to the football players. Most of them were jerks; not a few were rapists.

I am the math whiz around here. He's a programmer. I'm the statistician and mathematician.

I hate directions. That's what maps are for.

I can work on cars; I rebuilt my first car twice over the many years I owned it, and gave it up only when a part became utterly impossible to replace.

[Hello_Kitty]

9. I share most of your characteristics plus:

I loathe the entire concept of "romance". By that I don't mean people in actual relationships making kind and loving gestures to one another. I think that's great.

What I'm talking about is the never-ending propaganda that is fed to females from birth in the form of fairy tales, bodice rippers, and crappy, sappy so-called "chick" movies. It's basically the same paradigm where a woman stands there looking pretty, some rich guy sees her, and she is immediately rescued from her impoverished and lonely life. Nowadays they give scant lip service to the women's movement by making the heroine 'feisty' or giving her a job or something but it's basically the same bullshit. I think it screws up women's heads every bit as much as porn does men's. And don't get me started on ads for wedding and engagement rings. Yet I see women around me eating it up.

[politicat]

10. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I could have done the subject in 48 pt type, I would have.

Yuck, yuck, yuck! I don't mind the unreconstructed Grimms (maybe that should be Grim) folk tales - those are dark and have some wonderful archetypes.... but this Disneyfied crap that gets pumped out as a "fairy tale?" What crap.

I have yet to see a chick movie that didn't make me roll my eyes a gazillion times; unfortunately, I have two femmie sisters, a femmie grandmother, and a femmie mother who LURVE chick flicks, so when there's a get together and movies are to be watched, intelligent, thoughtful films always lose out to "A Walk To Remember" or some such tripe. Keerist, those things are plotless wonders. (And yes, then I get in trouble for poking fun at the characters and the plot. "Why doesn't she pick up the bloody phone? Is she so dumb that she can't state her own intentions? He's better off without that shallow little ditz! .... It's a wonder I haven't been lynched.)

The wedding industry makes me sick. There is absolutely nothing so irresponsible as peer-pressuring a new corporation (which is what a marriage really is) to put a significant percentage of their available capital and credit into an event that earns no ROI, causes a significant deal of interpersonal stress, and doesn't even have the advantages of a PR junket or a marketing gala.... it's not like there's anything to sell out of a marriage, after all. And thousands of dollars for an impractical DRESS? Why can't women just rent dresses if they have to do this, like men rent the tuxes? (I'm okay with formality, really; I just want parity on this issue.) Flowers that die? Making women think their only worth something if they get a rock out of the deal?

Then there's the toys and clothing issues for little girls.... I've ranted on that one before, so I'll just state: Pink Plastic is evil.

[lady raven]

44. mine...

I am more logical than emotional, I love math, and my creativity is math- based (I majored in Economics and Statistics because it was "fun" for me). I handle the finances and do our taxes, I also do most of the driving, and I'm the disciplinarian with our son.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

3. I'm good at and I enjoy math...

I was an engineering major in college.
I like writing computer programs.
I keep track of the check book, make sure all the bills get paid on time, and do our taxes.
When my family drives some place together I'm pretty much always the driver.
I hate shopping, especially shopping for clothes.
I don't wear make up.

[Kat45]

4. A lot of my interests are more "male" than female"

Once when I was at a party, I suddenly realized that all the men were talking in one room and all the women in another room, and I was in the room conversing with the men. LOL I'm not interested in in-depth conversation about clothing and shopping; I'm not interested in any conversation about children. I prefer talking about politics and the economy. I have no maternal instinct whatsoever. Nobody could believe it when I said I'd never held a baby and wouldn't even know how to. I never babysat, hardly played with dolls. I have no idea what to say to children and am not particularly interested in talking to them. My eyes glaze over when people talk about kids they know and all the 'cute' things they do. :puke:

I have a somewhat large record collection, and most of the music I like is the stuff men tend to prefer: I like my music loud and hard, love hard rock and some metal--I love Motorhead, for example. When I lived with my boyfriend, I handled the bills.

I think about sex all the time; my sex drive is similar to that of a 19-year-old male. (I tend to be the one in a relationship complaining about not enough sex.) :shrug:

[musette_sf]

11. Been THERE, honey!

Every damn suburban party I ever went to back in my Subdivisions of Greater Houston days, it was Me And The Boys (to recall a great NRBQ song, with a great version by Bonnie Raitt). The women never seemed to talk about politics, current affairs, economics, or real music.

Also: absolutely no desire to bear human children. I do love kids, I love to babysit my friends' kids (very occasionally and within reason), and I've been lucky enough to be present to see some very, very new people. That brand new little bundle of radiance and light is a wonderful thing to see and hold. BUT... no desire to actually HAVE them. I had my tubes tied at 25, I was so sure, and now at 52 I have to admit that I've never regretted it.

Also: huge record collection, all kinds of music.

Also: I am the breadwinner in my house.

Also: have always been called "pushy", "bossy", "overly aggressive", "bitch", and whatever else people call women who know their own minds. This used to bother me when I was, like 15, for about a minute.

But I do love me some cosmetics and jewelry and fashion, honey!!!

[Chovexani]

28. You sound like me with the sex thing

I think it's why I write so much porn. :P

[Lisa0825]

29. Another 'me too' here!LOL

I didn't always have such a high sex drive, but ever since my divorce 7 years ago, when I realized how much better sex could be, I've developed quite the libido! :rofl: I've often said I'm glad I'm not a man, because I don't want to have to hide behind the desk whenever those thoughts take over!

Do you really write porn? So, is this just for fun, or do you make money off it? I'm not very expressive in that way, but I have tried to get used to the the words so I will feel more comfortable talking sexy.

[Chovexani]

31. Yeah, mostly fanfiction

I do it for fun, obviously (can't make money off fanfic) But I have written some original things as well. Gay, straight, and everything in between! It's very fun and liberating to me. People seem to get a real "kick" out of it, too. :evilgrin:

I'm a starving fantasy writer that is trying to get published, but I doubt I will ever write the naughty stuff for any reason other than fun. Maybe I might pull an Anne Rice and get it published under a nom de plume, LOL.

It's sort of funny, because I was raised in a strict born again type of home, very repressed when it came to sexuality and women's bodies. I find that writing smut has helped me work through some of the issues I still have.

[Longhorn]

5. Funny how I forgot that being good at math is considered a "male" trait --

since my job is teaching math! :D

I never thought of lack of a maternal instinct as being "male" since many men have a paternal instinct.

[politicat]

6. True, though it makes us "unwomanly."

I didn't know you taught, LH!

[Longhorn]

7. I teach at a community college.

Got my master's a couple of years ago and got my dream job! I love teaching at this level -- no discipline problems, babysitting, meetings or committees (since I'm adjunct) and I get to talk about math all day! I also tutor math in the learning lab so between my classes and the lab, I'm working fulltime (no benefits, of course! :()

Just finished grading my last test of the semester today. Now I have two weeks off before the summer session begins. I'm going up to Denver to see my oldest daughter and taking another daughter with me. Then it's on to trig and college math! :D

[politicat]

8. You're coming at a great time - it's gonna be gorgeous....

70s and low 80's, the lilacs are in bloom, the grass is green, and we're starting to get the afternoon T storms that are so cool.

Bring your allergy meds, though.... everything and it's brother is in bloom and trying to pollinate.

Glad finals are done! (I do not for one minute regret that I am no longer a TA...)

[BamaGirl]

12. My conversation does not revolve around my children ;)

That irritates me so much. I have no need for the usual brag fest that seems to go on those conversations. Spend five minutes with my mine and it is abundantly obvious that they are smart, poised, and mannered...and democrats of course!

I love to workout. I went in the Army for the physical challenge.

I handle the money and the taxes. I am always the one who pays when we go out.

Mostly, I'd rather hang out with the guys. I only have two good female friends who do not limit their conversations to their kids.

I rarely wear make-up.

I have a reputation for being "bitchy", "bossy", "opinionated", "sarcastic" and "stubborn". And I'm making sure my girls share all those traits lol.

[superconnected]

13. Hi all, stopping by the womens forum

I made it a point of never learning to cook, and, I don't do dishes, ever. Haven't since I was 12 and a glass broke in my hand and cut me.

A boy friend once got mad at me for throwing the dishes away instead of putting them in the dish washer. Dish washers constitute doing dishes imo.

I refuse to cook a man a meal in my lifetime. Like I said, I never learned. If a guy wants something cooked, I tell him to go for it. It is over my dead body to get married. I have no desire to push out kids. But I may adopt a girl someday.

Oddly, I'm not gay and my boyfriends last a long long long time. I used to think they were masochists for putting up with a woman who doesnt conform, but it turned out they've just all been liberals :).

[Hello_Kitty]

14. Me too.

I have no domestic skills whatsoever and my boyfriends want to stick around forever. I break up with them usually, rarely the other way around. That's a big lie, that doing stuff like that will keep a man. If anything, it just makes him more apt to think of you as a mommy figure than as a love interest. As Joan Rivers said a long time ago "Don't do housework! Don't do it! No man ever made love to his wife because the linoleum sparkled!"

[lukasahero]

15. I prefer to frame the question in such a way that it doesn't

make female a bad thing and male, preferable.

I am me. I cook and love to do so - is that female or male? Good or bad? I love to cook for my husband because he loves to eat good food. He inspires me to venture beyond what is safe to me, to trust my own abilities and to test them as well. Now, is that male or female? Good or bad? Why?

I am me. I am a computer programmer (not an analyst or manager) and am one of the few women in the actual technical side of the field that I know. I have the ability to not only develop what the user wants but to understand what they wanted in the first place. Which of those traits is male and which female? Which is good and which is bad?

I am me. I don't like to shop at all. My husband loves to. Why is that supposed to be a female trait and is it just because it's a female trait that it's seen as bad?

My husband and I each handle our own finances, I handle the electronics, he handles the interior decorating. I have a collection of teddy bears, he has a collection of tools. I love football, he loves art. I plant the flowers, he kills the spiders.

What is male, what is female? Why is one to be viewed as better than the other? If we crow about how we are male, doesn't that suggest that even we believe being uniquely female isn't as good?

I used to brag about how I wasn't a "girlie girl" until I heard Ahnold use the word "girlie men" to degrade people. I realized then that I was just as guilty for denigrating the female as he was - in my mind being a girlie girl wasn't desirable - being just female, just me, just a woman just wasn't good enough.

Sorry to have gone a rant. I first read this OP a few days ago and almost jumped right in with the various ways I'm "male" but I have been thinking lately of what I do to contribute to the idea that just being a woman isn't good enough and gave a lot of thought to this before posting. I understand and appreciate the OP and am chuckling to see the many ways we women do "buck the system" here but also wanted to get these ideas in my head out for some other's consideration. Thanks for listening.

[NashVegas]

16. Great Post

And don't worry about the rant. You wouldn't believe some of the crap we took when this group was first proposed.

I love cooking (when it comes out well) and view it as an art form. Good food pleases the senses (one of the few things on which I can agree with Ayn Rand) and it's a pity that so many on both sides of the gender line equate it with drudgery.

[Longhorn]

17. Woa, where does it say in my OP that "male" or "female" traits

are good or bad? :shrug:

There is no way I believe being a woman isn't "good enough" nor do I look down on my husband because he does most of the cooking and all of the dishes! I just think how lucky I am! :D

I am grateful that I was born at a time when I am free to be whoever I want to be, and so was my husband. It's even better for our children; for example, two of our daughters work for my husband's remodeling company.

I think the defiance, if any, expressed in some of these posts comes from the habit of pushing back against those who expect us to be someone else, not a belief that we are somehow superior if we don't enjoy cooking or do enjoy sports. For example, I have four children but I took no offense from those who pronounced their lack of maternal desire. And I get tired of those parents who brag about their kids all the time, too! I've always believed that the only people I can politely brag to about my kids are their grandparents! I even get ill hearing from my siblings about their kids all the time because if I wanted to, I could surpass them with tales of my fabulous kids and their accomplishments! ;)

[Pool Hall Ace]

18. I love watching football and baseball (just like my mom!)

I will talk to people about their children, but I have to leave if anyone goes into some puke 'n poop tale (totally grosses me out!). And I can't even pretend to find babies or toddlers the least bit appealing.

I wouldn't watch some cutesy-pootsy Kate Hudson (or similar ilk)romantic comedy for anything.

Most any shopping I do is going to be online. I have no interest in a trip to the maul.

[Hello_Kitty]

19. Not exactly the topic but who hates that Men are from Mars

Women are from Venus twaddle as much as I do? That John Gray is a smarmy assclown scam artist and I cannot BELIEVE that otherwise rational human beings that I know subscribe to the idiocy espoused in his books. I barely made it through a chapter of his first book without hurling. It was so laden with stereotypes, sweeping generalizations, and blatantly stupid advice. He was quite popular for a time and continues to enjoy a substantial following. Based on his description of the typical man and woman, I'm a man. As are probably most women since his description of us is so patently insulting. Basically we are psycho, co-dependent, needy freaks as far as he's concerned. We are almost completely driven by emotion and sentiment and virtually incapable of ration or logic. Maybe he encounters women like that in his "research" but I seriously doubt his strategies work on most of us. I'd be offended if a guy tried them on me.

[Kat45]

20. I'm with you. I can't stand that guy.

I never even touched the book, but I saw him on talk shows back when it was big. And whenever anyone mentioned something about his book, I would be quite vocal in my opinion of him.

[all.of.me]

21. that book is SO one-sided!

it's all about men and what they want. the female part of it comes from a comment or two from his wife! i read it years ago. it gave me a little insight into how men think, but since then, i've found better information (mostly personal experience!).

[Mrs_Beastman]

26. I guess my mom was his landlord

back in the 1970's...everytime she sees him on T.V., she rants about how he left the place a mess and skiped out on last months rent.

[medeak]

24. ah..you haven't heard his latest

"some women are mars women and some men are venus men"

am def a mars woman..don't want to hear your sad story...but I want to fix it and never hear of it again.

[NashVegas]

36. That's Pretty Funny

Most of the guys I know (okay, I work in a creative business) are psycho, co-dependent, needy freaks. Hell, just about everyone I know can be described like that.

It makes life interesting.

[Mrs_Beastman]

22. I know more about cars

than my hubby. My grandpa owned a repair shop and my mom worked there until college. My hubby was raised by his mom and two sisters. So, today is a perfect example, he is making baked spaghetti for dinner, I just got in from working on the car.

[NMMNG]

23. For starters, I like women

:rofl:

I mow the lawn, take out the trash, do basic household maintenance (sort of have to-there's no man around the house).

I don't ask for men's help with lifting people under 100lbs and many objects under 50lbs unless they are really bulky.


But no, I am not a 'butch'.

[bleedingheart]

25. I am an engineer who loves using power tools ...I even bought

my own dremel...and I won't share it with my husband...

[Chovexani]

27. I love baseball

I hate romantic comedies and would much rather see the latest sci-fi or kung fu flick.

I'm the one everyone around me comes to when they need something electronic installed/hooked up/etc. I've hooked up every surround sound system, computer, etc. for pretty much my entire immediate family.

I hate shoe-shopping, clothes shopping (unless it's ye olde gothic emporium), etc. but show me an electronics/computer/game store and I'm there for hours. If I'm there with anyone outside my nerd herd, I need to be dragged away kicking and screaming.

Oh, and you can pry my remote control from my cold, dead hands...;)

Stereotypes are lame, and they suck. Boxes are for things, not people.

[Lisa0825]

30. many ways...

I was a biologist by training, until I changed careers recently.

I don't like to shop.

I don't like to decorate.

I also prefer talking politics/news/etc with the guys, to chatting about babies and cooking at parties.

I'm competetive.

I like sports, though not as much as when I was younger.

As stated in another reply, I tend to have a higher sex drive than most women I know.

I never changed things for boys, even as a teen. I didn't eat before dates so I wouldn't have to eat in front of a boy. I never intentionally lost at anything to boost a boy's ego.

I rarely ask for help with things.

[jmm]

32. A man told me recently I'm not feminine

because I always tell him what to do. I reminded him that I am his supervisor and that's what I'm being paid for.

[lukasahero]

33. Oh lord, please tell me you're kidding. Please? eom

[jmm]

34. I wish

There's more to this story. This same guy had previously asked me out. I let him know that I don't like mixing business and pleasure and all of the sudden I become less feminine. Like I'm suppose to be so overwhelmed with pride that he asked me out that I just swoon at his sight and forget to do my job.

[NashVegas]

35. Well, Gosh

At what point did you remind him that he seems to like less feminine women? After all ....

[lukasahero]

37. Wow.

You know, I'm all for giving men the benefit of the doubt and not using broad brushes and all but, wow, just wow. These guys really still exist, huh?

Is there a "shakes her head in wonder" icon around here somewhere? ;-)

[LWolf]

38. I'm the boss.

I make my own living, pay my own bills, and do quite a bit of my own physical labor.

Of course, I'm single now, so those may not count.

I'm a natural leader; never a follower.

I do not wear make-up or color my hair. Or style it; I'll blow-dry it and hairspray it to keep it "neat" looking for work, but that's it. I don't like jewelry. I dislike fashion, and dress for comfort and utility first. I drive a truck. I don't like cooking, and really hate cleaning. I don't "decorate." I don't sort my laundry. I don't wear clothes that can't be washed & dried at home, or that need any kind of ironing or special care.

I don't gossip. I hate shopping. I avoid the mall like the plague it is. In my younger days, if someone assaulted me, I assaulted them back, and made them pay for it regardless of the personal cost. (The last few decades I've learned the value of restraint, and of "ignore." )

Unfortunately, I can curse like a sailor, and do on occasion. I know how to use a hammer, a drill, a crowbar, a shovel, a chainsaw, and various other tools.

Wow.

[NashVegas]

39. Something I Came Across Yesterday

paraphrasing:

'women want to settle down when they meet the right guy. men will consider whomever their with to be the right woman when they're ready to settle down.'

To a some extent, I resemble that.

[Love Bug]

40. Lets, see --- I've installed light fixtures, faucets, and fixed toilets

does that count? It's amazing the stuff you learn to do when you own your own house!

[Trigger Hippie]

41. I am commitment phobic.

:7

[intheflow]

42. I have wide shoulders and

I swear like a sailor! :)

[Patiod]

43. I'm 5'11" and broad-shouldered

I was dressed as a flapper at a costume party (blond wig, heavy makeup, iron-clad sportsbra, flapper dress), and I kissed a guy friend, and he slugged me. When I got upset, he was apologetic: "Ohmygod!! I am so sorry!! I thought you were a transvestite!" Looked in the mirror, and damned if I didn't look like a tranny! (without the wig, heavy make-up and breast-binding, this is not a mistake people make)

I earn the income in the family, and SO takes care of most of the the housework.

My SO and I are both crazy about baseball.

Hate romance novels, romantic movies/chick flicks and refuse to read "women's magazines"

On the other hand, I'm crazy about shoes and jewelry, vain about my hair, and if I don't clean the bathroom, it won't get done.

Plus my experience of preferring to talk to "the guys" is different - among my girlfriends (all but me have high-powered jobs)we notice our husbands/SOs talking about movies, sports or TV (fluff) while we talk about politics or the economy. So I'd always rather talk with "the girls"

[Ilsa]

45. Analytical. Sometimes I have to force myself to get in touch with

my feelings and I tend to bottle up and be strong for too long.