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Hi, gang! Looks like Dave's not going to post this on Jossip today, so here it is, for your viewing pleasure. I watch Rita, so you don't have to! :)
And lo, though I walk through the Valley of Porn,
I shalt fear no evil,
For Rita Cosby art with me.
Her "interviews only she can get" shalt comfort me.
So I prayed before watching Rita Cosby's latest bit of "hard hitting journalism." Fresh off her triumphant "Wrestler Tour" in Afghanistan, and watching children's book author (and part-time gang founder) "Tookie" Williams executed, "Live and Direct" took me somewhere I've never gone before...Porn Valley!
Rita made it very clear from the start that she was strictly reporting on porn as a business, and that there was good porn and bad porn...kinda like Glinda the Good saying, "are you a good smut peddler or a bad smut peddler?" She also made it clear that she was not endorsing porn, but it was obvious by the end of the show she really knew her stuff. Hm. Jossip reports...YOU decide.
Rita's report focused on "Vivid Entertainment," which I guess is the Universal Studios of the porn industry. But, as always, it was the interviews only Rita can get that gave the that "personal touch".
We met Stephanie Morgan, who spoke movingly about the misery of screwing butt ugly guys in the name of art, and the loneliness of finding a relationship when your job involves "getting it on" in front of a camera. Let's hope Rita hooked her up with someone who truly feels her pain: Colin Farrell.
Rita also introduced us to those wacky Web girls, Mercedes and Laci. For a mere $30 bucks a month, you can chat with them, and even direct your own porn movie, just like Paris Hilton. The gals emphasized you MUST ask politely, like "yo, you ho! Will you please do me the honor of watching you play with the whip and inflatable sheep?"
Next up was Randy Spears, who's filmed 4,000 sex scenes. I wasn't impressed with that statistic. Gene Simmons has slept with, like, half the world. Spears spoke about his mission: to teach young porn stars to give a show for the camera. "People can spot fake sex a mile away," he claims. Obviously, this dude has never watched an episode of "Sex and the City."
Director Chi Chi Larou is the bubbly Steven Spielberg of porn. He emphasized that he wasn't a pervert, just a big, happy, gay drag queen! Given that he looks like he could be Harvey Fierstein's younger brother, I wasn't surprised. I also wasn't shocked that his main focus is in the gay porn industry.
Monique Alexander is a poster girl for porn star empowerment. When Rita asked how her granny took the news that she screws guys she doesn't know for a living, granny proudly approved (and no doubt bought mondo shares of the company).
Rita's big "interview only she could get" was with Kayla, who was filming her very first porn movie! Kayla revealed how she'd Googled her boyfriend, Grant, which I could totally relate to. What I couldn't relate to was her reason: he was too good in bed! After finding out his REAL job, the banker and part-time belly dancer triumphed in her first film. The only difficulty? Having sex on a barrel leads to lots of nasty chafing. For the love of Gawd, someone get this woman a baby wipe!
Sadly, Rita went back to that "serious journalism" stuff, and brought on two "experts" to debate the good porn/bad porn thing. When the "bad porn" lady started ragging on her, Rita defended herself, by explaining that they were showing the "high end" of the porn industry. Needless to say, that chick was out of there...FAST.
So, in the end, who gained the most from this shocking expose? Anderson Cooper. With CNN running a promo for his new show right in the middle of Rita's report, you can bet he's finally going to get that young demographic he's after. As for Rita, don't feel too bad. Tucker Carlson DID say he was going to film a porn flick on his own set that night, and Rita lit up like a holiday tree. Tucker only wearing a bow tie...now THAT'S HOT!!!
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