Irish tendency to stifle self-confidence?

[dooner]

I'm not sure how to ask the question, and I'm not trying to be offensive, just wondering if other have noticed this in themselves or their families.

My theory is that the Irish tend to ridicule those that act a little too proud, or take themselves too seriously, or think too highly of themselves. I was raised this way, and you could count on some sarcasm coming your way if you ever got a little too self-confident or cocky.

Is this an Irish thing? Or just my own dysfunctional family dynamic?

It doesn't seem that bad necessarily (God knows I have a good sense of humor to show for it) but recently it occurred to me that it has perhaps hindered my ability to be super successful in my job. In the business world, Americans take themselves pretty seriously, promote themselves before others, etc.

Anybody else know what I mean?

[Maeve]

1. Who do you think you are? What will the neighbors think???

Trying to get above yourself, are you?---That sort of thing, y'mean? :banghead: Yes, it's very Irish.

It's part of the under-dog community ethic--stay together, don't draw attention to yourself or us, heads down and live life under the radar.

There is also a strong streak of disdain for anyone "putting on airs", especially for those who "lord it over" others; the American ideals of democracy and equality are part of the draw this country had for the Irish immigrants. So different than what they saw in their own history...

[dooner]

2. Oh God, that's it...

It's really taken a toll on my psyche! I have always found it difficult to push myself up the ladder of success, or even desire to be at the top! Various managers, etc. have told me I have what it takes, but I just have no desire for the limelight. (I can still hear the gossiping about so and so who thinks she's above the rest of us.)

Thanks for confirming what I always suspected, but didn't think was that significant.

Has it affected you?

[Maeve]

3. It hurts women more than men, I think

Since other cultural and gender aspects tend to amplify the communal/conformist message. But there is a strong counter-message in the Irish-American psyche as well--You can be anything you want to be, do what you want. I think the double message is what keeps us off-balance and slightly crazy (not that that's a bad thing, at least not all the time!) And it does counter the "me, me, me!" sort of individualism that can make total jerks out of people..

I'm a storyteller (writer/performer) and yes, I've had to work to overcome the sense that I'm just a fake, a silly girl pretending to be somebody important. :eyes:
Well, as long as it keeps me from becoming a diva, I guess I'll keep some of it. :D

Sometimes I have to laugh at myself and answer the question "How dare you?" with "I dare anything I darn well please!" Remember, you can't keep the Irish down and you're Irish!