New to the group, intro

[EFerrari]

Hey, I'm Beth Ferrari. My husband is the SF comedian Doug Ferrari. A coupla years ago, we were in the papers because Doug had Borderline Personality Disorder and things went from worse to worse. (Btw, I've his permission to retell our family story.)

I myself have PTSD which is more or less manageable after a long therapy about 10 tens ago.

Anyway, I run a small on line support group for families/individuals living with BPD. I like it, it was the first one on the net I think where anyone living with BPD could be in the group. We talk as peers and exchange info, support and a laugh now and then. It's a great exercise in learning to talk to upset people, to take care of your own upset with support. We've been going in different incarnations for about 10 years now!

Anyway, as I've been spending a lot of time here at DU since the election, I thought I'd check in and say hello. I've been reading your threads quietly and think you guys are doing a very cool thing.

Best,
Beth in SF

[DemExpat]

1. Hi, Beth, and welcome to this group.

The more, the better, I think, to share and support.

:hi:

DemEx

(I've been living with BPD most of my adult life - along with chronic depression and anxiety/panic disorder - have "it" manageable and comfortable too now.....:hug:)

[EFerrari]

2. Thanks for the welcome, DemEx.

I've appreciated the care and the kindness in this group as I read on my own.

Thanks again.

:pals:

Beth

[Droopy]

3. Welcome, Beth

I'm glad you like the group. When it was started I didn't really know what to expect. I saw several posts in the lounge about mental illness and medication and thought that a group might be in order. It moves kind of slow in here, but I think we are steadily growing with new people showing up all the time. I'm hoping that people are finding it a safe place where they can talk about mental health issues.

[EFerrari]

4. Sure. Talking about mental health stuff is a skill

all right. I'd reason to remember that as Doug's involved with a group of folks who do a comedy show where they do stand up based on their experience dealing with their particular Dx. Depression, bi-polar, borderline, ADD are represented, it's just amazing. Powerful but also hilarious in the best way.

But, the producer wanted to call it "Mixed Nuts"! Oy. I'm trying to get him to change it to "RX for Laughter" or something. Learning curve, I guess.

This group is a great idea,thanks Droopy.

[DemExpat]

5. We just hit 1000 posts, Droopy!

Thanks for your brain-child Mental Health Support Group here at DU!

:toast:

DemEx

[Droopy]

6. Yay!

Our first big milstone. You think we could get newyawker99 to give us a mention when she posts the next milestones thread? For a while there I thought we would be one of the groups that would get tombstoned for lack of interest. But it looks like we keep growing and getting more new posters all the time. Maybe that 1000+ sign will draw even more attention to us.

[northamericancitizen]

7. This group has a unique place in my hearth and I have a lot

of confidence about its future.

I dont post often but I regularly check in to read the new threads.

Lise

[EFerrari]

8. In a group like this one, your numbers will surely build

I tried one or two other groups before starting my own. It's little, about 35 (?) people and I didn't know what would happen at first. That was five years ago! Some of us migrated from the other groups and have known each other for eight years.

Sometimes, slow is a good thing :)

[no name no slogan]

9. Welcome Beth!

Glad you're here! You're doing great work supporting people who live with BPD.

IMO the people around us probably need the support more often than the folk with brain diseases do. Everybody focuses on the 'patient', but so often the family and frieds are pushed aside, or given short shrift because of the severity of the illness.

Keep on doing what you do, and you have my admiration for doing it!

:hi:

Dan

[EFerrari]

12. A belated thanks to you, Dan

Everyone in our family needs the love, right?

Thanks for the welcome,
Beth

[TrogL]

10. Could you explain a bit what it's like living with a borderline?

My partner is diagnosed borderline and some days it just plain hell on wheels.

[EFerrari]

11. Yes, sometimes we all need helmets to meet the challenge.

I can only speak for myself. And there's two things that seem important.

One: My partner is very sensitive. He can present himself as totally together at times, but at home, he has "come aparts". His sense of himself as a unique and wonderful human bean seems to vanish and then, there are consequences.

Sometimes those involve him beating himself up. Sometimes, it gets put on me. That's the down side.

The upside: That gives us two, count 'em TWO, different channels to use for positive change.

Two: BPD isn't in my opinion a condition that is contained in one body. It may originate in one brain, but it gets airborn in the family. We get reactive as h$ll. We all seem to feel the same way: hurt, ignored, unsupported, overlooked. What a perfect storm :(

But again, if the family is so wired into the BPD, that also means, we can use reverse wiring and take every opportunity to work together and improve the situation.

Most people I know, pro and nonpros, don't seem to get this very well. It's like a staircase. You can go down the stairs. And you can go up the stairs.

The thing I've found most difficult is that sometimes my partner seems so "well" that I forget how sensitive he is, I forget that he works hard every day to manage that.

I don't know if that is helpful at all. lol

on edit: I used to say, if we sit next to each other, we can look at the situation together, figure it out. If I sit across from Doug, I AM the situation. fwiw.