My first panic attack...

[CoffeeCat]

I am wondering if others are familiar with panic attacks. I had no clue before last night.
I'm pretty stunned right now and looking for support.

Last night, I awoke feeling chest pains and like I was "not all there". I told my husband
that something was really wrong. My entire left side felt tingly and numb and I felt
out of it. My mind felt clouded and I felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn't
breath. I seriously thought that I was having a stroke or a heart attack and that
passing out, and death, was imminent. I was the scariest thing I've ever experienced.

My husband called 9/11, and the firetrucks and ambulance arrived. I had no idea that
a panic attack had identical symptoms to heart attacks/strokes. I was evaluated and
my EKG, blood work and x-rays checked out ok. Diagnosis...panic attack.

I understand that I'm under a lot of stress. However, I feel like a panic attack
means that I wasn't handling the stress well--that I was burying it. I went through
three years of horrendous therapy--processing sexual abuse--and I never had a panic
attack.

I've slowly grown and healed from therapy--so I'm a bit discouraged by this panic attack.

My brother has recently written me. He's attempting to escape from our abusive parents. He's
in his 30's, but these people are the most evil, manipulative, psychopathic people I've ever known.
My brother had been divulging his own abuse story and it is very difficult to hear. Among
many things, he's mentioned that my mother used to routinely give him stashes of chocolate and
rich, sugary foods to keep in his room. My brother has had Type I diabetes since he was 7. I
have been divulging my own story to my brother--in an effort to help him realize the level of
dysfunction of these parents. It scares me that he can't break free and it reminds me of how
I struggled to rid myself of them. I cut them off 5 years ago, when I was 38.

I guess I'm triggered by all of this...but I feel like this panic attack reveals that I will never
be healed and that this stuff will always be painful for me.

Thanks for listening.

[EFerrari]

1. Panic attacks can be upsetting especially when you don't know

what the heck is going on!

:hug:

You know, one side of my family is predisposed to them. There's like seven or eight of us that have them to one degree or another. I think that's why I don't read into them very much -- because they seem to be so clearly just part of our DNA.

Maybe we're related, TwoSparkles! :hi:

/oops

[CoffeeCat]

2. Thanks sfexpat...

...you always have such a comforting way of making people feel better...even with just a
sentence or two!

I appreciate your message.

And hey, maybe we are related. Can I call you cousin sfexpat? ;)

[EFerrari]

3. I'd vastly prefer cousin to Aunt Beth.

lol