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toddzilla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-19-04 09:39 PM
Original message
Do you play an instrument or paint or something creative?
I find this helps quite a bit with feeling less useless and abnormal.

I play guitar and it almost always brings me some peace, even if it's an insanely distorted, loud peace!

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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-19-04 10:22 PM
Response to Original message
1. I used to play guitar
I never got very good at it. I took a few lessons and then would just listen to songs and try to figure them out. I would get bits and pieces down but I never got an entire song down. Playing guitar never brought me any peace because it was more an act of futility seeing as how I wasn't very good at it. It frustrated me more than anything.

But one thing that I used to do when I was ill that did bring me some peace, if only temporary, was write poetry. I was so mixed up that writing and getting my feelings down on paper really helped me to clear the cobwebs, so to speak. After I got well, when I looked at my poetry from when I was experiencing my sympytoms I wondered how it never occurred to me that I was sick. Some of it was pretty twisted. I burned it all.

I recently took a poetry writing class at my local college. I found that my poetry now that I was well had a better quality to it, but most of it lacked the strong emotion that really makes for good poetry. I since haven't had the desire to write poetry as I haven't experienced any strong emotion that would move me to do so.

Here's an example of some of my writing from my poetry class:

The Low Light

In that magical moment
I’ll never forget you.
Taking a trip through my mind,
head buzzing mightily.
There you are sitting
not saying anything
as if expecting something.
I couldn’t say anything
except about how beautiful things were,
and how beautiful I felt.
Feeling as if I’d just seen
the world for the first time.
Time had ceased to exist,
briefly relinquishing its power
and by doing so had
unveiled the One.
I wish I could revisit
the all-encompassing moment.
But I have fallen ill,
my mental health won’t take it.
It’s a fragile thing, the mind
and I’ve pushed it to the limit
one too many times.
But I’ll always remember you
and the way your eyes sparkled
in the low light.
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Ladyhawk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-19-04 10:42 PM
Response to Original message
2. Can't anymore...my illnesses have destroyed my creativity.
Has this happened to anyone else?
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jdots Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 01:35 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. at times yes because it makes no sence
But what makes sence ?creating is the thing that humans may be here for,sure destruction is big right now in the world,but screw them,they call call stuff crazy if it isn't destruction,they are the crazy ones.
I am going to paint and make strange stuff till the day i die just to spite the fools,and you should too because it is the only thing we have .
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-29-04 03:18 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. God yes! I'm a professional artist
and forcing myself to work is one of the hardest things I do these days. I have CFS and fibromyalgia, and if it were up to me, I would sleep all day, at this point. My house is a freaking disaster zone, my yard is an eyesore, about the only thing I take care of any more are my cats. I hardly hear from anyone these days; like the Clapton song says-nobody knows you when you're down and out. I can go for weeks without seeing anyone but the grocery store clerks. To make matters worse; my employer hasen't payed me in SIX MONTHS! I'm living off my retirement income, which is almost exhausted. Creativity is a tough thing to force, but I must to stay afloat.
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Ladyhawk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-01-05 06:39 AM
Response to Reply #7
8. Wow, I really hear you on this!
My apartment looks scarcely better than the day I moved in. My birds' cages are awful. My snakes' cages need cleaning. I haven't done my laundry in weeks.

The sad part is I don't know how much is due to the constant, horrible pain of my herniated discs and how much is due to depression. The two feed off each other and drive me crazy.

The only thing "creative" I can still do is sing. And praise be, I actually finished my own arrangement of a song that I sing called "Shiver Me Timbers." So, yes, I guess I can still be creative.

Where I've lost it: drawing, painting and sculpting. I just can't make myself take on a project. I've been away from it so long, I'm afraid I will suck. I keep telling myself that the picture will be for my enjoyment only, but I'm afraid the critical me will nag.

I want to do a drawing of the Mesozoic Era, of feathered Utahraptors stalking a prey animal. I haven't decided for sure what that prey animal should be...perhaps an iguanodon. It has to be a contemporary of the early Cretaceous. Maybe it could be any Cretaceous prey animal since dromaeosaurs came in all sizes. I thought it would be cool to give the Utahraptors crests that looked like fern fronds: camouflage, you know. :)

I just got done reading two books about dinosaurs...wow! What I'd give for a time machine to go back and look at what once was!

Lorien, I feel for you. Singing is much easier to make yourself do. I can't for the life of me start a drawing. I don't know how you manage!

Keep feeding the cats and I'll feed the birds. Like you, I just want to lie in bed all day. Sometimes I hurt so bad, that's exactly what I do.
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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 05:29 PM
Response to Original message
4. It seems the only time I create is when I'm down
I went through a really bad phase about ten years ago, and ended up writing enough songs to fill a CD-- which my band and I ended up making, too. Most of the stuff I write when I'm down is better than the stuff I write when I'm up, actually-- although I'd much rather be in a good state and not writing than to be in a bad state and writing three songs a day.

I'm a guitar-playing fiend, and keep one or two out in the living room, just to pick up and noodle around on, whenever I feel like it. You could take everything away from me, but as long as I had my guitar I'd be alright.

Here's a stock photo of my Córdoba 30F:

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toddzilla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-20-04 11:40 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. nice
I play mostly electric blues but i am getting more into acoustic lately.

Just got a new Hamer USA hollowbody and can't keep my hands off it.


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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-23-04 12:36 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. (Drools)
I love the sound of electric hollowbodies. I bet it plays like a dream too. :hi:
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Ladyhawk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-01-05 06:42 AM
Response to Reply #4
9. I'd love to learn the guitar.
I should probably learn the keyboard first.
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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-01-05 06:01 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. I learned guitar first
I'm pretty much self-taught. For me the guitar was easier because it's not as "linear" as a keyboard: you can play chords several different ways with many different voicings-- there's no single way to play a chord like there is on a piano keyboard. I have a hard time thinking in straight lines anyway, and the guitar just seemed to make more "sense" than playing keys.

However, I do dabble in keyboards and synthesis quite a bit, and do play guitar synthesizer-- which is an entirely different beast altogether. :)

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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-02-05 06:03 AM
Response to Original message
11. did some drawing today
damn cats won't hold still
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