Have you ever felt like your life was wasted?

[Deja Q]

But upon seeing the truth you struggle to change it?

[NMMNG]

1. I've spent the last 18 years working in a dead-end, low paying job

that's gone nowhere and never will. Yeah, I feel like my life has been wasted. However I'm going to change it ASAP--I'm just waiting for the money for grad school.

[EFerrari]

5. That's very exciting! I went back to school and was accepted

into a grad program. I LOVED IT! Good for you!

[mrgorth]

2. I doubt this is the case

I think we are presented with challenges/opportunities in life when we are ready for them. Make the best of it lad.

[MN ChimpH8R]

3. Yes and no

The last twenty years of my life have been a complete waste. I spent seven years and college and law school preparing for a future that never came. I bounced around from position to position, never sticking more than a year or two anywhere. I never got any real=-world experience adn the only thing I know how to do is write briefs and memos.

Not until last February did I find out why my future never came and never would - that's when I received my Asperger's dx. No one who cannot deal effectively with people is ever going to handle life in a law firm, which is an intensely social place, or ever be a successful lawyer. In fact, one is going to have a lot of trouble finding any job. Knowing is a good thing, but it doesn't really address the underlying survival issues.

My one-year term as a law clerk is coming to an end and I have no plausible job prospects, so it is probable that I will have to sell my house in a couple of months. Where I will end up then is anybody's guess.

If I had it to do over again, I'd probably go into some kind of academics where I could lead a monkish existence. I made a drastic error in career choice and I am stuck with the consequences of my ill-informed choices. Maybe a bus will hit me.

[TrogL]

4. Been there, done that

Nothing would do but I had to be a music teacher. Nobody got around to telling me about the socialization issues. Two degrees and three years down the drain.

Eventually I retrained in computers and never looked back.

[EFerrari]

6. Wait! What about considering working for an advocacy group

over being roadkill?

There are a number of wonderful ones.

I rely heavily on www.psychlaws.com and that's just one that comes to mind.

Fwiw, my Doug is probably an Aspie but he compensates well enough that some people simply find him mildly annoying. And, he's working on a bunch of social stuff right now and making gains.

Before a gig, for a while he wore a rubber band to remind him to smile.

We came up with the acronym pst! -- to remind him: positive, smile, two-way communication.

I know the secret of you guys. You are the fastest learners on the planet. And sure as I'm sitting here, someone needs your skill and help.

:hi:

[SpeedwayDemocrat]

11. Many types of law, not just trial, MN Chimph8r

Hey, MN, have you considered working in the area of writing appellate briefs/appeals? My co-worker is an attorney who is bi-polar & ASP, and he does a great job for us. He's an excellent writer, and working in that area means he has little contact with outsiders. If allowed to work on his own swings/schedule, he is one of our best and brightest. Not everyone has to be in court or dealing with clients (just a thought)

[EFerrari]

7. Sort of. I kept bumbling along aquiring skills because I'm a

"new things" junkie, and life provided me with an opportunity to pull them together. If you'd asked me before that event, I would have said, yes, definitely.

You have to know how to "look", just like a batter in baseball.

lol

[Lilith Velkor]

9. You have to know how to "look"

How does one learn this?

[EFerrari]

10. That's a very good question and I don't know the answer.

Have to think about this. :)

[DemExpat]

8. In some ways, definitely....

but if I knew all that I know about myself now back then when looking for something to do with my life, I would have gone into library science or research to lead me into more solitary types of work.
One of my mis-matched goals was to help people - social work, child psychology, that sort of profession attracted me greatly - but the amount of social skills needed, as well as ability to handle stress involved - put these out of reach for my "special" nervous system.....:D

Working in an office is the only work I have done for more than a year, and that was hell for me - all of the politics, forced socialzing (HATED that the most, although I have great empathy for most people....lol....).....no escape possibilities throughout the day...etc.
My husband who has issues of his own - don't we ALL? - found a tolerable profession in customer relations in computer industry - he is more extrovert than I am - but loved...no, needed, the opportunities in each day to run and jump into the car and go visit clients!

I was happiest being a stay at home Mom, and had no trouble enjoying the heck out of caring for and providing interesting activities - also outside the home, even with my anxitieies - for my kids. My children really helped me rise above my limitations - a very positive experience for me.

I am nearing the end now of my beleated university degree studies - Human Geography this time :-) - and don't really expect it to lead to work in future - but you never know.

Helping out with Fair Trade businesses here in our rich countries, animal rights, supporting organic farming.....these are things I care most about at this time - besides politics...:evilgrin:

DemEx

[donheld]

12. Yes i have

Changing it isn't always easy.

[Nikia]

13. Lately, but perhaps I am finally getting it now

This weekend, I read the book Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. It is a fictional book about Siddhartha, an Indian Brahmin, who seeks to fullfill his spirituality by figuring it on his own. What the main character says at the end made so much sense to me and was comforting to me.
While I was thinking profound and good thoughts, I also realized that I have been living under the assumption that I am going to die soon, not in a way that I am trying to get things done before that time, but as if there is no use for planning for a future. I have not been diagnosed with anything terminal and am only 28 and there is really no logical reason for the thought. It occurred to me that whether I am going to die soon or whether I will live another 80 years, I should start living like I have a future and not as though I am already dead.
What I am going to try to do is to reconnect with people instead of hiding from them. I am also going to actually try to devote myself to writing even though I fear that I am no longer good at it. All skills take practice and if I am going to write well again and perhaps better than I ever did, I am going to have to practice. Next quarter, I will sign up for fiction writing class at the community college if it is offered. I will also try to get involved with a writing group after I have written a few pieces. I am also considering going to a week long writing workshop this summer. Whether or not I can eventually make writing my career, it is something that I used to do and was passionate about and it is what I want to do with my life.
I still have to battle my anxiety disorders and my eating disorder to connect with people, go to the class, join a writing group, and go to the workshop. Devoting myself to writing practice for now is within my comfort zone though and something that I am confident that I can do.

[Blue_Roses]

14. yes, I know what you mean

I often say if I knew twenty years ago what I know now things would be different. However, how would I have gained this knowledge if it hadn't been for time.:crazy:

I feel like I wasted many years and I playing catch up is frustrating. I feel like I'm entering a second period in my life and I see things so differently now. What to do about it another story! :banghead:

[BuelahWitch]

15. I go back and forth

Sometimes I'll think my life was a waste and that I should have gone to school in my 20s when everyone else does. But then I remember, I'm not *like* everyone else and if I had gone to school then I'd still be fucked because I didnt' realize what I wanted to do until I was 35.

I think the problem is that we compare ourselves with what we either think is an ideal or what society has led us to believe is an ideal, and we come up lacking. I often have to tell myself that where I am right now is where I'm supposed to be, for whatever reason. I'm not successful, thin, rich or partnered, but I'm not unhappy either.