Adult ADD

[lizziegrace]

Diagnosis is in, meds are working okay but I've got 25 years of my life that were basically lost. Has anyone found any useful resources?

I was misdiagnosed for years as depressed because I didn't have the hyper component. Just the constant pinball game in my brain that NEVER stopped, even when I tried to sleep. Fortunately, I won't have to spend the NEXT 25 years like the last.

[shrike]

1. Welcome to the club

I spent 45 years without being diagnosed.

There are a lot of good books out there -- you've probably seen them already -- and also a support group called CHADD: you'll be able to find a chapter near you through Google.

A couple things you should remember: now you've got a reason for your problem. And guess what -- it wasn't your fault! You did the best you could with the resources you had at the time. There's no shame in that. Don't second-guess, don't blame: your life is your life.

Don't look back, look forward. It's a long life, and you have a lot of years ahead of you to make up for that time you lost.

[undergroundpanther]

2. ADD sucks

I have it too. I take adderall for it.
It's not so much a pinball thing for me, But it's being antsy,it's not being able to focus on stuff easy,sometimes.. but hyper-focused others so when someone interrupts it startles the hell out of me.It's forgetting stuff and losing stuff.I can't take alot of instructions or to do lists all at once.I take it chunk by chunk because I can't absorb it all without being distracted and just irritated by all the talk.When I work with people I get irritated when people yammer about the pointless details about what they are thinking of doing..the over anal planning crap my mom talks about aimlessly BEFORE she gets around to doing anything,it drives me nuts. I'd rather just do it.

ADD is not so much a disorder..,I think ADD is a problem that some people have dealing with the fact our culture (because it is made of messed up people)is disordered (and in our culture we are taught that any problem an individual has is always the an individuals fault they don't conform to the sicko culture "standards" before it is EVER considered a cultural problem there is a "norm" at all).

I also think some people who seem "normal" really do get off on doing this boring,over detailed, over planning , meticulous lots of yammering about nothing,and no one sees anything wrong with that crap.And because some people can shamelessly waste everyone else's attention on that bullshit,and others can pay attention to it without distraction among other pointless crap,society assumes we all must pay attention to.. and if you find your mind wanders when shit ids over complicated well it could be a sign of YOUR sanity.There is way too much bullshit that goes on I think.Not my problem people can't tell bullshit from important info and are procrastinating through alot of chatter about what they want to do...And our culture loves this pointless boring bullshit, doing lists and going over and over these detailed explanations of what to do before you do,except for ADD folks.And if this post did not trigger your ADD..I would be surprised.
Take Care!

[shrike]

3. He he

Damn right it triggered my ADD. Got through it after I read it a few times, though.

Our brains are wired differently: that's the problem. It's probably a genetic trait that used to be a benefit to mankind, but here, in the modern world, it's a hindrance.
I recently read an article about the CEO of JetBlue. He has amazingly creative ideas (most of us do), and is able to function by paying others (including his wife) to handle the minute details of life. Must be nice.

ADD was a problem for me in that I couldn't focus enough to accomplish the things I wanted to accomplish. And when I did, it either wiped me out or I did a half-assed job. Everyone's different, though, and I think some could indeed function just fine in a different kind of culture.

I know what you mean about obsessing over details -- drives me crazy! For chrissake, quit talking about it and just do it!

[lizziegrace]

4. Thanks to all of you for your replies!

If I live to be 70, I'll get that 25 years back. It didn't really surface with me until I was a freshman in college. It's really become a problem in the last ten years and the last four have been a nightmare. Divorce, raising my daughter on my own and not having any support or a fallback when things get to "busy" in my head. Besides, until 3 months ago, I thought I was depressed, lazy and stupid.

I'm still struggling with the sleep issue. When it's quiet, my mind still races even being on Strattera.

It's not pretty some days, but at least there's a name for it AND at least I am finally, FINALLY beginning to feel somewhat "normal".

[shrike]

6. We all have sleep troubles

It's a hallmark of ADD.

BTW, here's a book for you.

YOU MEAN I'M NOT LAZY, STUPID OR CRAZY?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (Paperback)
by Kate Kelly, Peggy Ramundo

I liked it -- not all of it was useful to me, but I found it pretty easy to cherry-pick. Personally, I thought their chapter on drugs was fantastic. Clearest explanation of different drugs, their effects and side effects, I've ever read, and in clear, laymen-friendly language.

[Blue_Roses]

5. how well I know

miserable years of lost potential because of ADD.

[LizMoonstar]

7. I wish I could get a straight diagnosis, myself.

I have bipolar, ADD, and OCD symptoms, but they don't know which one is the underlying cause. Being that I don't have insurance, I go to the community mental health center, and the doctor's main focus there is to keep me functional (and he does pretty well) - but I'm one of those types that wants to have answers as well.

My brain sounds a lot like yours. Were you a good student? If so, did they try to tell you that meant you didn't have ADD?

[shrike]

8. I was a good student

My saving grace. I love to learn, still do.

My problem is with memory and focus. (Although I am extremely self-disciplined, which is one of the reasons I did well in school. I can force myself to do just about anything.) And social skills -- we ADDers are pretty clueless when it comes to that. A lot of us don't have many friends -- I never have.

I'm very interested in Adult ADD because I was recently diagnosed, and I was amazed at how all my quirks -- and I have a lot of them -- do fit into this pattern. It's not a one-size-fits-all diagnosis, though; rather, a basket of symptoms.

Don't know much about OCD, but bipolar illness and ADD do tend to mimic each other. I have a nephew whom I'm convinced is ADD, but the doctors keep telling him he's bipolar.

I'm not a doctor and can't diagnose you, but there are plenty of good books and audiocassetts out there -- you won't even have to buy them, they're in your local library. There are basic things you can do to take care of yourself: get plenty of sleep -- we ADDers have sleep troubles -- try and limit your activities to a few things you really care about, etc.

Of course, your problem may not be ADD at all, but good health and nutrition can't hurt. Hopefully, you'll be in a situation soon where you'll have health insurance, and a health professional can properly diagnoze you.

[drumwolf]

9. Congratulations on finally getting a diagnosis, sorry it came so late.

I'm in a situation very similar to what you (Lizziegrace) and several responding posters have described.

I have various symptoms that could be attributable to ADD, Asperger's, and OCD. I've had them since infancy and I'm now 36, and I have to this day never been formally diagnosed with anything. For the past three years I've tried to get a diagnosis so I can try to get proper treatment, but the mental health professionals I've consulted either can't or don't want to come up with one. All they do is to get me to try this medication and that.

Congratulations on finally getting a diagnosis and proper treatment. You won't get those lost years of your life back, but at least you know the rest of your life isn't going to be like that either.

[lizziegrace]

10. Good student? Yep

I skipped a year in HS and kept a 3.7 without ever taking a book home. It all unraveled in college. While I know I'll probably never be able to confirm it, the ADD seems to have started after I had my wisdom teeth removed and was put on steroids for the first time in my life. I know Jane Pauley is now Bipolar after having spent an extended period of time on steroids.

I've been on and off those horrible drugs for years due to severe asthma. Yes, they've saved my life on several occasions, but what they do to you is so awful.

I don't remember being unable to focus, sleep or achieve when I was younger. It only happened after the surgery.

I hope those of you who are struggling finally get your answers. It took me 10 years and so much heartache. Keep fighting and if you have a support system, let them help you fight. (I didn't have that. My ex kept telling me to "get over it" and "deal with it".) That's why he's an EX.

Peace.

LG

[LizMoonstar]

11. holy crap

i've always been a little odd, but i didn't really have quite the same level of problems until after taking prednisone to keep my throat from swelling shut from tonsilitis when i had mono.

[lizziegrace]

12. I've wanted to get Jane Pauley's book

I'm curious to find out how she went from "normal" to bi-polar and hospitalized after being on steroids for a skin problem.

I'll have to check out the library site and see if it's available.

Yep, another ADD symptom. Hyperfocus and researching things to death, but only if they interest you!

[EFerrari]

13. Hi there, lizziegrace

I'm somewhere on the spectrum and so is my husband.

I went back to school as an adult and did just fine at Cal, in fact was allowed into a phd prog. Looking back, I see now that some of the tasks I struggled with were all about some bit of ADD.

Hubby seems to be much more impacted but also, much better at compensating.

Plates in the air, for sure.

Glad to see you posting,
Beth

[Raksha]

14. A few days ago, I blurted out on another forum...

...in answer to the question "Who Am I?" that I'm a loser, a failure. I said that all my life I've had all of this unrealized potential and that at age pushing 60, I'm unlikely to realize any of it. At the time, I didn't understand what made me post that note, but I understand now it was a cry for help.

One of the other regulars (and not a close friend or anyone I would have suspected) e-mailed me about ADD and recommended a book. He said he found out about it (and recognized himself in the description) by listening to a radio program about five months ago. He didn't need to convince me, because I also recognized myself while browsing in a library about two years ago. I happened to pick up a book on ADD and there was a list of questions on the back cover. I answered "Yes" to every single one of them!!!

So today, before I could forget again and before some other problem or crisis could push it onto the back burner, I ordered two books by the author my online friend recommended. They are "Driven to Distraction" and "Delivered From Distraction" both by Edward M. Hallowell. Has anyone here read those books? Were they helpful to you?

Right now my biggest fear is that I won't get any help from the mental health community, because they have let me down before. For years, I struggled with panic disorder with little or no medication, even though just about all the common medications helped enormously when I was able to get them, and I NEVER abused them. But for some unknown reason, doctors were reluctant to prescribe for me or to renew my prescriptions when I had them, EVEN when I was also in therapy! The upshot of it that I've pretty much wasted my entire life struggling with the panic attacks and what I now realize is ADD.

And no, I'm NOT going wait for somebody to diagnose me!!! Not when I had a psychiatrist in the Sixties who insisted upon talking about "your attacks, AS YOU CALL THEM." Well, just what the hell does anyone call them? It wasn't until I read a book by Claire Weekes in the 1970s that I knew there was even a NAME for my problem! So fuck the "experts." They've let me down before and I fully expect them to let me down again, especially considering that I don't have health insurance.

I really want to confront the problem and not waste the rest of my life, but I'm so scared of falling through the cracks...AGAIN!

[shrike]

15. You might want to see

if there's a support group in your area. There's an organization called CHADD, for ADD people and their families. Google them, and you can find out if they have a group in your area. They can probably point you in the right direction. There are a lot of good books out there, and probably a lot of good resources as well. I got my diagnosis after going to a psychiatrist and talking with him for about 40 minutes. "Sounds like you could benefit from ADD medication," he said, and away we went. ADD is often misdiagnosed. I am now successfully medicated, in part because my niece was diagnosed with ADD and my sister recognized my own traits in her.

If you have a regular doctor and a good relationship with him/her, he/she can prescribe you medication. That's what my sister's GP does for her daughter. Bring a copy of the questionnaire you took when you go in to see your doctor. Good luck, and let us know what happens.

[Raksha]

16. Well, the books arrived last weekend

and I'm again recognizing myself in practically every one of the case histories. There's also a questionnaire consisting of 100 questions, and I answered "yes" to 63 of them. Strangely enough, the first question was: "Are you left-handed or ambidextrous?" I'm NOT ambidextrous; I am so left-handed I sometimes tell people the right hand is only there so I'll have a matching set! Okay, that's a slight exaggeration--I'm typing with both hands right now, but you get the idea. Anyway, the question really surprised me because I had no idea there was any correlation.

I was actually surprised that I didn't score higher than 63 on the questionnaire, but I think it's because a number of the questions are aimed at the kind of hyperactivity often found in boys with ADD. But I'm female and in school I was more of a daydreamer. In fact, I was painfully shy until I was about 17; absolutely NOT "the class clown" or a behavior problem or anything like that. If I got bored or antsy I would just retreat into my own world--as I still do. Apparently that's pretty much par for the course for a girl with ADD.

As for getting a diagnosis: Dr. Hollowell has a website, and THIS TIME I'm definitely going to track down a therapist with some experience with ADD, since I'm about 95% sure that I have it just from reading about the symptoms. I'm not going to make the mistake of pulling a name at random from the phone book, and getting someone who doesn't "believe in" ADD, or who simply resents the fact that the patient is smart enough to have acquired some of the terminology. I've been down that road before, and it's amazing how ego-involved some therapists are in their own agenda!

I only spent a little time on the website last night, but I'm going back to check into referrals in my area right now.

<http://www.drhallowell.com/index.html>

edited to add link

[shrike]

17. You sound like me

That's supposed to be the hallmark with girls: we're dreamers, not troublemakers.
Sounds like you're on the right track. If you're not satisfied with the first doctor you see, try someone else. You really have to be your own advocate on these things. And, if he/she tries you on some medication you don't like, SAY SO. Don't let him/her talk you into staying on it, or "giving it more time." People react differently to medications. Just because it works for his other patients doesn't mean it'll work for you.
BTW, the whole "ego-involved" thing seems pervasive in the medical profession. My husband's had some health problems (Non-Add related) and they so get their backs up if you have the temerity to suggest you might know what's wrong with you.

[undergroundpanther]

18. What about dreamy troublemakers?

Or trouble makers that dream?

Maybe it's the transgender issues I have that make me manifest both types of ADD?? Weird thought.

[shrike]

19. Hey, none of us fit into slots

It's one of the hallmarks of ADD. There are hyperactive girls and dreamy boys. Or those who are both. If you have transgender issues, well, that could play into it, too.
But remember every ADD 'fault' is also paired with a strength. It's part of what makes us special.

[MountainLaurel]

21. Thank you for the recommendations

I've been meaning to get to Driven to Distraction for ages.

[Deja Q]

20. I know of a couple books...

The midsdiagnoses were bad enough...

"Driven to Distraction" and "You mean I'm Not Stupid, Lazy, or Crazy?" are great ADD books.

Just be careful with the meds. They can be dangerous, especially when mixed...

[EFerrari]

22. Or when not monitored properly.

That's been a scourge for us.

But I've found that when you ask for something very specific ("I want to know you will be monitoring my progress on this medication") it helps the docs to attend.

fwiw
Beth