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For TayTay and other science buffs: here is an e-mail that has been circulating around in case you haven't seen it yet...
O : New elment discovered
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A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
"Bushcronium."
Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,
and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These
311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Bushcronium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Bushcronium causes one reaction to take over 4 days
to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Bushcronium has
a normal half-life of multiples of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and
deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Bushcronium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass."
When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element
which radiates orders of magnitude, more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Bushcronium can spontaneously transmute into Pandemonium.
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