Considering the homeschooling option for my son.

[catabryna]

I'm beginning to take a look at the different types of educational opportunities that may be available to my son who turned five this past November, and what a blessing that late birthday was in disguise! It afforded us an an extra year for him to catch up maturity-wise and gave me some additional time to come up with a working plan.

Initially, I had planned to put him in public school. However, he does have some special needs. He was adopted from Ukraine at the age of 18 months. He suffered from severe developmental delay in all areas related to his time in the hospitals and orphanages. In additon, he has a bilateral cleft lip/palate which has required 5 surgeries to date. He has participated in Early Childhood Intervention and PPCD programs since the age of 22 months where he received services for his speech and motor skill delays with great success! Cognitively, he has caught up and is academically equal to others his chronological age. He knows his colors, can recite and identify upper and lower case letters of the alphabet, and speaks in very complex sentences even though he's difficult to understand. It seems as if he has suddenly, of his own volition, showing the signs of reading readiness. Like within the last two weeks!

While his delays are not pervasive in nature he does, however, continue to experience speech and motor skill delays. In addition, he has sensory integration difficulties and may very well suffer from ADHD, though he has yet to be formally tested for this. He is very, very small for his age and will always have a visible birth defect. However, though kids can be downright cruel, these things will not factor into my decision. He is a bright child with a terrific disposition, but is immature for his age even though I keep in mind that it is not unusual for little boys to be behind in this area. So, for the above reasons and others, I am beginning to question whether a traditional school experience, most especially at this age, would be right for him.

I am not interested in homeschooling him for religious reasons and, though I do have religious beliefs, I'd likely take a secular approach. I do not have any aversion to public schools, but I'm very concerned about taking the traditional approach because he is an extremely busy child. While he has a personality that can charm the pants off even the most grumpy person, he can stretch nearly anyone a little thin. I know that there is no way that he's going to be able to sit in a chair for any length of time in a classroom and I don't want him to disrupt the learning experiences of other children or become labeled as a behavioral problem because that is so far from the truth. Lastly, I have no desire to medicate him into conformance. I want him to be the little boy that he is!

He is a very social child, however, and that places us at somewhat of a disadvantage because he is an only child and his daddy passed away a little over a year ago. It would just be the two of us and we are getting ready to relocate to a rural area in Calaveras County, California. At the same time, I am also looking into an academy which was set up by the county's department of education. It is not operated by the district but was set up with state funding to assist homeschooling families which means there can be no religious indoctrination. This approach could be an invaluable resource in helping me coordinate some special education assistance for my kiddo, the most important of which is speech therapy.

So, I guess that pretty much covers my thoughts on the issues and challenges and thought perhaps some of you folks might have some valuable insight for me.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

1. You might consider therapy for the speech and motor skill delays

depending upon how severe they are.

Read through this thread and you'll discover that there are so many ways to offer a secular homeschool education for your child. It's great that you're exploring all your options! :hi:

[catabryna]

2. I definitely want him to have additional

speech and motor skill (fine and gross) therapy as they have helped tremendously in the past. Having the umbrella of the school district's homeschool program will enable him to easily obtain the needed therapies... but, of course, that puts us in the position of being under their thumb to a certain extent. I don't mind finding speech or physical therapists on my own (they would be covered by insurance); it's just that in a rural area, they will be few and far between.

Thank you for the welcome. I've been reading an awful lot lately and that's how I found this group :-)

[fight4my3sons]

3. Hi!

Your son sounds like a wonderful little boy!

I think that even if you are moving to a rural area there will be some places for socialization such as the library or park. I lived in a town of 300 when I was growing up and even went to a one room school house at one point. There were 2 kids in my grade. You will find a way if homeschooling is what you want to do :-) Maybe that academy would know of a homeschooling group to put you in contact with.

If he were to go into public school would he go in as a classified student in an inclusion room? or as a regular ed student that gets extra services such as speech and PT/OT? I was a special ed teacher before staying home with my kids.

[catabryna]

4. A little more background...

My son attended the PPCD program at our local elementary school (here in Texas) for the 2003-2004 and 2004-2005 school year. He had also been enrolled in the same preschool for three years until August 2005 when my financial situation became such that I was able to stay home with him. I considered re-enrolling him in the PPCD program with the goal of moving him toward Pre-K because it was becoming clear that he was going to be able to start K on time. However, they were concerned (as was I) that the structure in the Pre-K program would be too much for him at that time and they didn't know if he'd be able to handle it without meds. Arghhhh! I don't feel he's old enough for a definitive diagnosis of ADHD in light of his sensory integration issues and his history. If I had agreed to consider medication and it provided the desired effect, they would have worked on gradually stepping him up from PPCD to a regular student status Pre-K with the extra needed services.

His history before our adoption of him was detailed to some extent in my OP, but on arrival home at 18 months, he could barely sit up, he couldn't crawl and he hadn't learned to chew. Developmentally, he was on the level of a 6 month old. He weighed 12 lbs at 18 mos. of age. He didn't start walking until 29 months. However, part of that was by design as we took him back to the infant stage that he missed so he could have a good foundation to build on. We had to teach him to eat because he hated the texture of anything other than what he was used to eating; milk, yogurt & semolina mixed in a bottle and served through a huge hole in a nipple. He didn't start talking until about age 3.5 and even then he was only understandable to us or the PPCD teachers that he spent time with (partly developmental, partly anatomical).

We had some family issues to deal with as well during this time. His daddy (my husband) was diagnosed with cancer 6 months after our son's adoption. Under the circumstances, both my husband and I were required to work full-time to keep paying the bills and remaine insured. It had been our plan for me to stay at home with the kiddo. After two years of treatments including a stem cell transplant, Wayne passed away in November 2004. In spite of all this, my son progressed by leaps and bounds and has always been a "what, where, when, why, how" kid; it was pretty clear before he even started talking!

So, for the following reasons, I've kept him at home this school year:

1) The school district's thoughts on the Pre-K program and their advocacy of medication to move him into a program more matched to his cognitive abilities.

2) To give us some good bonding time based on his past and more recent history. I think he really needs his mommy right now more than ever.

3) So I wouldn't have to deal with pulling him out of school again for another surgery and recovery period.

4) So he could be with someone who could really take the time to try and understand what he was trying to express in words. It was becoming clear that he was getting frustrated at not being understood.

Positive changes I've noticed since keeping him at home (5 months now):

1) Wow, has his speech exploded! He is speaking in very complex sentences and his pronunciation has improved drastically. I haven't had to really work on this with him ~~ just ask him to listen to me, repeat after me, and watch my mouth when I speak during the course of a normal day. And, of course, he can speak to me whenever he likes (though sometimes I'd really like a pair of earplugs!)

2) He has become my little cuddle bug. There is no doubt that this child knows who his mama is and is now firmly attached to my leg... ALL OF THE TIME! He really needed this. His eye contact has also improved.

3) I can ask him to do something and, instead of tuning me out, he'll say "okay, I can do that!" He may still need a prompt now and again, but at least he's hearing me some of the time!

4) He wants to, and appears to be ready to read, and seems to be grasping the concept of math.

5) He's really developing a social conscience, i.e. learning to pick up on the emotion of others and respond appropriately.

So far, I haven't noticed anything negative about keeping him home. Right now, I'm trying to work in settings that he hasn't always been able to handle, i.e. story time at the library and learning behavior appropriate in certain settings like restaurants. I've been trying to work in some time at the park in the afterschool hours so he can be near kids his own age, etc.

I've also started giving him Omega 3's, however, I can't tell if they are helping, or if it's his being home that's making the difference. Either which way, they certainly can't hurt!

Okay, well that was a book... but that's the gist of it! ;-) He's always been a very happy kid and I'm worried that he'll lose that joy if I place him in an environment that is not suitable to meet his needs.

[fight4my3sons]

5. Thank you for all of that background info.

You have both been through so much in the past year. I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband, your son's father. It must have been such a shock to you both. As I said before it sounds like your son is just a wonderful little boy. He has certainly overcome some big obstacles! I think he is doing great from what I have read. I agree with you about the medications. It doesn't sound like he needs them, at least while he is at home learning with you. Who knows what would happen in a classroom. I think it sounds like you are in a good place right now, but that's just my opinion :-) It just sounds like you are both so happy and are doing really well.

[mzmolly]

6. I think your on the right track considering homeschooling for your son.

Keep in mind it's kindgergarden and you can be very relaxed about things. There are so many fantastic groups that will give sound advice about where/how to begin. I'd recommend reading a few books yourself to decide what philosophy you would like to embrace. I'd also recommend joining a HS group for kids with ADHD to see what works well for such children. My dd has ADHD like characteristics, very busy ... hates to sit still. I'm still finding a good fit.

Best wishes to you. :hi:

[catabryna]

7. Thank you...

The more research I do, the more I believe it is an appropriate way to go at this age. You mention his kindergarten age and how it can be relaxing... that is one of the things that intensely bothers me about schools these days.

Kindergarten used to be a time when kids learned how to be together, play together and learn together and if a kid was a bit busy in the classroom, it wasn't going to disrupt the environment too much because the whole purpose of experience was to get a child used to what it would be like in first grade and prepare him for the classroom experience. It was also only a half-day program and, most often, it wasn't even mandatory. Now it might as well be called first grade!

I find it to be a danger in starting children in a formal school setting at younger and younger ages. It's good solid teaching when they actually do start school that is going to make the difference in the long run, not when they learned to read (so long as they learn how to read, of course).

[mzmolly]

8. I fully agree.

:hi:

[mzteris]

9. I've been thinking a lot about this lately

**I find it to be a danger in starting children in a formal school setting at younger and younger ages.**


I'm on several gifted and/or learning differenced lists and there are so many more kids with real issues than there used to be. And I don't think it's just a matter of "now we know" - though that is some of it, of course. I mean - know we know WHAT may be wrong, but I just don't think there were as many "things wrong" in the past. AND - - (ok I'll get to my point eventually :) ) --

I've been wondering if it might be that kids are being "too educated" at too young of an age. Forcing their brains and eyes and hands to work in ways they really are NOT ready for. (Granted there are the extremely/profoundly gifted that will find a way to write at age 2 and differential calculus at age 4 without being taught - but I'm not talking about them.)

I'm talking about all the "educational shows" and "educational games" and "teaching kids to read and write" well before they are truly cognitively and/or physically ready.

Anyway - just wondering out loud - - - I'll shutup now. :D

[catabryna]

10. Don't know why you thought ya oughta shaddup!

I knew exactly what you were trying to say. Yes, we knew about hyper kids in the past (my brother was one of them), but I don't think the increase in hyper kids is because it is more recognized as a problem. Nurture can be just as important as nature in child-rearing and I think we are seeing an effect relating to overload nurturing. I feel certain that my child is hyper due to his nature and history, but it is nurture that is keeping it in check.

My son has had a whole lot of educational games because he's an electronic junkie! They are nearly all LeapFrog and they have been around at varying levels since he first came home. This kid is a "button pusher", literally. A couple of his first toys were the Baby Tad and another toy that made music if you pushed the buttons. He then received a Rock-n-Roll Elmo as a gift (I HATE that thing!). This kid would push those buttons endlessly. While subconsciously, he probably paid attention to the colors and shapes on the Baby Tad, and learned an appreciation of classical music, all he really cared about was cause and effect. Push a button, make a noise! Turn off the tv, turn on the tv... turn up volume, turn down the volume! Didn't matter if I taped over the buttons... he'd find a way to rip the tape off.

Finally, about a year ago, I caved and bought him a Leap Pad and another Leap toy with the alphabet and a magnetic pencil. It wasn't really to teach him anything, but I figured if he learned something while engaging in his obsession, it wouldn't hurt. He then received as a gift a Leap Bus (with the alphabet on the side ~~ yes, MORE buttons). He played with them, but they didn't hold the same excitement as the televison controls! Then, all of a sudden, a few months or so ago, he pulled them out and has been using them on his own and is absolutely loving these gadgets. I never turned them into a teaching activity; I just left them as play things for him. He has apparently picked up much more than I had realized while pushing all those buttons! It is during this last month or so that I've started to notice the reading readiness.

As for educational shows... we don't use them to speak of. He watches Sesame Street on televison (I grew up watching! How could I refuse?). He can watch Thomas the Tank Engine and Bob the Builder and he LOVES the animated version of Charlotte's Web. Cracked me up the other day when he came to me and asked me what "Magnus Opus" meant; I knew where he had heard it and asked him what he thought it meant... "It means Great Work, Mama!". It's now our newest buzz phrase. :-)

Most of the rest of the time, we read... ya know, the standards, Dr. Seuss, Goodnight Moon, etc. He doesn't yet have access to a computer, though I do have one here when I decide he's ready for it.

I am not formally teaching him anything, though we are working on pre-writing skills because of his weak fine motor skills. I bought him some sidewalk chalk and he can scribble or whatever to his heart's content on our back porch. Goodness, these are things we did all the time when we were kids, but everything these days is structure, structure, structure! I'm hopeful that I can provide an environment for my kiddo with some of the same fun that we had when we were kids... playing until dark with all the neighbor kids, drawing a hopscotch on the sidewalk with leftover drywall (and seeing who could find the coolest rock for the token), climbing the street signs and tying a ball to the top so we could play teather ball, climbing the apricot and walnut trees. Yeah, there were a couple of broken arms, a few sprained ankles, and lots of stitches, but we all survived! There are so many things that kids miss out on these days.

I do think that most kids are in overload at much too young an age these days. That is one of the main reasons that, other than Sesame Street, the television isn't usually turned on until after he's asleep. I tape Keith Olbermann because it comes on before his bedtime. And, he sleeps well too, usually 11 hours a night. I do, however, have to cop to having Air America on a lot for my own entertainment which is why my kid says "It's NIH Health Matters" when he hears the little musical signal and really, really wants an Oreck vaccum cleaner! :rofl:

I guess I love to yak about my kid, eh? Heehee!

[mzteris]

11. I'm glad SOMEBODY gets me. lol

***we knew about hyper kids in the past (my brother was one of them), but I don't think the increase in hyper kids is because it is more recognized as a problem.***

Well, it's not just the ADD/ADHD thing - but a whole host of LD's and learning styles. And, of course, many other differences can mimic the symptoms of ADD/ADHD but be nothing of the sort. Gifted kids, especially LD gifted - can look a whole lot like a hyper kid.

***This kid is a "button pusher", literally.***

Talk about buttons my son figured out the VCR at 2 (thank god SOMEONE did). How old is your son again? There are some great computer learning games out there, btw. But let him have plenty of time with books books books. Old cardboard boxes. String. Real buttons. Glue sticks. Pipe cleaners. popsicle sticks. Old gizmos that need to be taken apart (channel changers, cell phones.)

**though we are working on pre-writing skills because of his weak fine motor skills**

Cutting is good. So is working with clay (playdough). Stringing beads, sorting small items so he has to use his pincer grip. Encourage him to "lay on his stomach" so he has to prop himself up with his elbows - this improves the upper body/shoulder strength. Encourage activites that has him "crossing the midline" - his right hand/arm crosses over the midline of his body to his left side and vice versa. Swimming is an excellent activity. Push ups - even modified - help.

**I guess I love to yak about my kid, eh?**

Don't we all????? Just shows what an involved mom you are.

[catabryna]

12. Thanks for the tips!

Interestingly enough, he's recently started laying on his stomach on his own. I'll have to encourage that more... and I had completely forgotten about the midline activities! Most of the things you mention we have handy, but he's completely lost interest in the majority of them. He does, however, still really enjoy his sewing cards and we have a number of rubber, textured puzzles that he enjoys putting together. He has to work harder to put the pieces in place and he gets some additional sensory input from the texture. We definitely do the playdough thing with all the accuotrements, including plastic scissors. In fact, he plays with the stuff so much, we just make it at home now. Swimming would be awesome, but it's gonna have to wait until this summer when we move near some lakes. He's not completely potty trained and isn't the least bit interested right now.

Alexsei turned five in November.

**Well, it's not just the ADD/ADHD thing - but a whole host of LD's and learning styles. And, of course, many other differences can mimic the symptoms of ADD/ADHD but be nothing of the sort. Gifted kids, especially LD gifted - can look a whole lot like a hyper kid.**

These are some of the reasons why I hesitate to have him tested or medicated at this age. He definitely has some sensory issues he's still working through and sensory integration dysfunction is definitely known to cause ADHD-type symptoms. While I knew these things, I then had a chance encounter with someone who added an additional dimension.

My son had a sitter for a couple of months whose daughter works with gifted children at a PS in Oklahoma. She had come down for a visit and sat down one day with my son who was about 4 1/2 at the time. She later sent me an e-mail, which surprised me because it was completely unsolicited on my part, though certainly not unwelcome. She said that she believes he's probably highly intelligent and to keep that in mind during future IEPs, etc. because she was afraid that the school district might take the "one size fits all" approach with him and with his history, they needed to do more than just scratch the surface. All parents think their kids are bright, and I always sorta thought he might be "smarter than the average bear", but it sure was a surprise to hear it from someone who was a total stranger!

Speaking of moving... it looks like it will be happening in the next few weeks. This California girl is heading home, though I will say that I'll miss the Austin area; the only truly blue town in Texas. We will be having a home built and Alexsei is gonna love that! What an excellent teaching/learning opportunity it will be for the both of us; the sight of construction equipment just gets him giddy all over!