There is something going on with me that I can't explain.

[LaurenG]

Recently BlueIris asked about some of the things we don't believe in and I'm finding that I don't believe in anything. The further along I go the more I just don't believe anything for certain. I'm to the point that I "know" nothing and it's fine. I need few answers anymore and that does feel strange.

It's not a bad place just different for me. I don't believe in the special status of psychics, or healers. I may place some faith in individuals with talent but overall, I think everyone is "psychic", that it's a natural state that some people haven't tied into yet. I don't believe in healers but I believe in the ability of people to heal themselves through many different means including allopathic medicine, herbs, visualization, and the subtlety of various forms of energy medicine.

I see the world as a great big playground with bullies and friends. I see people striving to make themselves important instead of striving to serve and I say this without judgment as I've been guilty without realizing it myself. I see "psychics" who play with others by not giving full disclosure about themselves and healers who want to serve but are searching so hard that they miss the point of allowing the client to heal by thinking it's them doing the healing, rather than allowing healing to just take place.

I see people here that I admire that are truly serving selflessly. I appreciate those of you here with integrity who hold the vibration of goodness and love because really I think that is all it takes to help others. I kept thinking this was just another form of "the dark night" but it isn't dark. I feel freer to say what I feel more than ever before. I don't know what it is or if it's just a part of life but I thought I'd share and see if others have been here and how it worked out.

Thanks to all of you for allowing me a somewhat safe place to tell about myself and disclose things out loud that I have not disclosed before.
I'm in a very different place for me. :shrug:

[Celebration]

1. Well, there are thing we believe

To be true, and then there is "blind faith." Honestly I see the world in shades of gray, and shades of certainty and uncertainty. Even the best psychics for instance, aren't right about everything, and even the least experienced sometimes have insights. So it is still a crap shoot, just with different odds.

Even the BIG spiritual issues I see as probability/possibility sets, and I am fine with that. Why should I jump in the water when I can't really swim that well (metaphor, because I love to swim)? An example of this is YES I feel that our souls are more or less eternal and I feel that at least some part of reincarnation is real. But, I am not certain of this at all, and am not sure of the mechanism by which this happens.

I feel certain about very little, outside of relationships with family and friends. This isn't a big deal with me, as I'm a bit of an "agnostic" about a lot of things. Except--I have to say I am pretty certain about a lot of things that other people think are ridiculous. That is solely do to what I have experienced.

[LaurenG]

12. I meant to post this at the end of the thread - so I'll edit this and add this to the end.

:hug: Thank you Celebration.

[I Have A Dream]

2. Lauren, I have been feeling very similar thoughts.

I find it interesting that so many skeptics think that anyone who is interested in esoteric topics believes everything that they encounter. There are very few things in which I really believe. I believe that I have a higher self that is always pushing me to be the best that I can be; I believe in reincarnation; I believe in karma; I believe in astrology; and I believe that there are beings on the other side who work with us to try to make the world a better place. Other than these things, I really can't think of anything in which I truly believe beyond a shadow of a doubt. I'm certainly not saying that there aren't other truths, but I really have more of an open mind rather than a belief about them. With more proof (either scientific or personally-experienced), I might also come to truly believe other things.

What I enjoy though is thinking about the possibility of these things. I love being exposed to things and not feeling as though I'm going to be punished for allowing my mind to "go there", which was the case when I was trying to take a religious rather than spiritual approach. I feel truly alive when I immerse myself into stories about ghosts, crop circles, miraculous life-saving rescues that really can't be explained. I don't necessarily believe in them, but I also don't not believe in them as well.

There is some music that touches my soul so deeply that it makes me almost want to dance with joy. As a very low energy person, it amazes me when it happens. How does this work?!!!

I actually think that spiritual people tend to believe less than either skeptics or religious people. For skeptics, it's often what they absolutely don't believe. For religious people, it's what they are told to believe. (At least that's my personal experience with religion vs. spirituality, and I feel that there are spiritual rather than religious Christians.) I'm not judging either group but rather trying to explain that it's very freeing to give myself permission to keep a completely open mind and make my own decisions about what I believe rather than being told what I mustn't or must believe. However, I realize that other people are drawn to skepticism and religion in the same way that I'm drawn to mysticism/spirituality. Those are their paths just as validly as my path is spirituality.

I don't know about you, but I'm also very, very soul weary. It's not a bad thing -- just a great fatigue that has been keeping me from exploring new things. Instead, I've been trying to be rather than do. I've given myself permission to do this. I think that healing is taking place in the background without any effort on my part.

Lauren, thank you for sharing with us. You are such an inspiration to me, and I truly do love you. :hug:

[lildreamer316]

3. ..and you've given me a small aha moment there, Dream!

"I've been trying to be rather than do" - this has been me for the last five years or so. I had a mother who was always trying to get me to find something to do in life, and for some reason I never felt a huge need to set a goal like that - I knew somehow that this time I didn't need to. But I wasn't really aware of this very much, I just resisted being pushed to make my life like that. I'm sure it was very confusing for her.

So I've managed to create a time in my life where I can just be, as you said. I guess I kind of did it unconciously. It's so great that I've been able to take this time to really delve into the spiritual side of life and also to just enjoy being a wife and mother to a wonderful couple of souls.

I think I agree almost completly with what you said about beliefs and having an open mind. As my husband says, he doesn't have beliefs, he has ideas. Ideas can be changed a lot easier than beliefs.

Thanks for saying what I was thinking so clearly! :)

[LaurenG]

14. Thank you Dream.

I love you! :hug:

[northernlights]

4. I feel very much the same way you do

although on the point of healers, I think that although we heal ourselves, there are individuals who's presence can help. And I know from experience that herbs can also help.

In terms of people's presences helping, I'll give an example. I studied voice for several years for fun. I liked my teacher a lot -- she is very focussed on technique and a very nice person and I learned a lot from her. And then she hosted a series of workshops with her teacher. Her teacher worked with me for about 10 minutes, and it's as if she threw a switch in the back of my head. Suddenly everything changed and I became *a SINGER* as opposed to somebody singing. Each time she worked with me, the effect would last for weeks before fading. I could practice (in fact, I almost couldn't stop singing) for 8 hours a day, and not feel tired or have it impact my voice. It wasn't anything in particular that she said -- it was simply being in her aura that would cause a noticeable shift. Noticeable not just by me, but by everybody within earshot. :D

But I take everything with a grain of salt. Like others have written, I like to consider and remain open to the possibilities. I *know* what experiences I have had, but I don't expect anybody else to automatically believe them. I'm also wary of anybody who claims to KNOW the TRUTH.

[I Have A Dream]

5. I'm with you on the herbs, northernlights.

I almost added that to my list of beliefs. However, my experience with them is very limited, so I didn't feel that I could make a really general statement about them. Dong Quai has saved my sanity.

[get the red out]

7. Dong Quai

I love that herb!!!!! :toast:

It has saved me much pain, literally.

[LaurenG]

15. Thank you northernlights

I am very grateful for your input. :hug:

[BanzaiBonnie]

21. It's called entrainment

Some of this is my understanding and some are "official" definitions from a particular field of study.



From Wikipedia -- Entrainment in the biomusicological sense refers to the synchronization of organisms to an external rhythm, usually produced by other organisms with whom they interact socially. Examples include firefly flashing, mosquito wing clapping as well as human music and dance.


I also like this other definition -To carry (suspended particles, for example) along a current.

I say --- One system getting in snych with another system (person to person) An absorptive sort of learning. That's why you learned so much more from the one teacher. Some people are able to transmit better.

[northernlights]

24. I've also had it happen in terms of healing

the specific situation that comes to mind was my motion sickness/air sickness that developed as a result of abuse. And then on a flight through a storm, with a horrible landing at Logan Airport (so much turbulence that one passenger's seat actually broke and they were being flipped all over the place). I couldn't stay on target with the barfbag and my face was smeared as a result :puke: The instant we hit the tarmac, a stewardess unbelted herself and *ran* to me, apologizing and wiping my face so tenderly. I had never felt such a loving touch before, and haven't since. And my air sickness and the psychic wounds around it were healed. I don't mean just in that moment. I mean future flights...

[get the red out]

6. The things I "think"

I heard an interview with a paranormal investigator one time and he said something that has stuck with me. He said he didn't like the word "believe", he felt that it was a loaded word; he said there are things that he "thinks" are true, but those are subject to change or expand with additional information.

[LaurenG]

16. Makes perfect sense. Everything changes.

Thank you get the red out. :hug:

[Cleita]

8. Deep down in your inner spiritual self you know the truth. You have to

reach into your psyche to bring it to the forefront. It seems you are already starting to do that. I don't myself believe in anything that is told to me whether in formal religion or from psychics or other New Age practitioners. Personally myself, I believe in an invisible world besides our visible world that is inhabited with beings that we interact with whether consciously or subconsciously, but that is what I have been shown and you might be shown something different that is unique for you. The point is to not feel guilty because you can't accept someone else's beliefs as your own. You need to listen to your inner voice and you won't go wrong.

[LaurenG]

17. Thank you Clieta

you are very much appreciated by me. :hug:

[Kind of Blue]

9. Well, all I know for certain is that your

belief in goodness and love is all that matters, because to me, in the end that's all life amounts to: how much of it did we create and leave behind. Sounds like you're in good place, neither attached nor detached from all things spiritual. Balance.

There's a Buddhist word I've come to really, really appreciate anicca, impermanence as it is the nature of all things because everything is structure - the physical and the psychic - but always flowing, always in flux, always changing without exception. And then to look at it all with equanimity, I think this is what you're experiencing. Besides, insight into self, it's almost like a cleansing.

I've been joining you in the Prayers Thread in using anicca during meditation before sending, because after feeling basically blank and at ease, I start filling up with love of self and then it starts spilling outwards to others. I maybe wrong, but I just keep feeling that this is what is happening with you right now, change, equanimity and love.

Hope it makes sense :think:

[LaurenG]

18. It makes perfect sense.

Thank you for your love. :hug:

[MagickMuffin]

10. "The Walking Question Mark"

Everyone should be "A Walking Question Mark" and allow themselves to be open to concepts that trigger the "Questions" that surround us about the "Unknown Mysteries" of the Cosmos. There is no harm in "Questioning" everything. In fact that is a part of our Spiritual Growth, to Question, to "Keeping an Open Mind" and giving ourselves the permission to "Question" things can can't be explained.


Everyone IS psychic, but those abilities lay dormant in each and everyone one of us. As children we "Know" a lot more about these abilities, however, we become "Conditioned" by our parents, by our religious leaders and churches, by the school systems, to deny these abilities. So, we block or lock these abilities away. As adults sometimes it manifests within us once again and we want to "Know" how to unlock our "Spiritual and Psychic" potential, but don't know where to look. There are ways to Wake Up these abilities if we would only recognize it. There are tools available to teach us how, if we know where to look.


I had some thoughts on healing that I decided I didn't want to reveal them here for everyone to see :blush: but if anyone wants to know what they are they can PM me and I would be willing to share my views on them since I did study Acupressure and Tui Na Massage therapy.

[LaurenG]

19. Thank you MagickMuffin

That's it, a walking question mark, anything is possible. I would love it if you would tell me about your thoughts on healing. :hug:

[MorningGlow]

11. Sounds healthy to me, Lauren

As others have said upthread, "believe" is a loaded word. That implies a vow, a strong assertion, an absolute. And, as we all know, nothing is absolute.

I find I'm averse to both sides of the equation--I reject religions and individuals who tell me I MUST believe (fill in the blank), and I reject skeptics and atheists who tell me I must NOT believe (fill in the blank). Nobody knows the truth, not really, not entirely, so why should people act like they do know?

But what's most important is there's no need to go running around like chickens with our heads cut off in search of it. It will come. Like attracting chickadees. If we run after them, they fly away. If we sit quietly with a handful of birdseed, they'll perch on our fingertips and bless us with their presence.

Like Dream and LD said, it's more important to just "be". I've never had a driving ambition in my life, and it doesn't bother me (but it seems to bother others! :D). People who are here for a specific task will feel that driving ambition; others, like those who are just here to play or are here to aid anyone who needs help as those needs arise, won't. I have felt for some time that I'm in the latter group. 'S okay with me. I've had my lifetimes of driving ambition and hunting and restlessness, and I likely will again. This lifetime I'm just hanging out. :hi:

[LaurenG]

20. Thank you so much for your thoughts and insight into this.

:hug: I appreciate you more then you know!

[LaurenG]

13. Each one of you have hit the nail on the head about this

All in your own way but it resonates with how I feel. It's as if it doesn't matter what we believe things just are.

There is not one of the descriptions that you all have posted that don't resonate with me.

I feel as if I have arrived home with old friends that I love dearly. As if each of us are a piece in a puzzle that is taking shape and each of us together are creating the bigger picture.

I wish I could express my gratitude in more concrete ways to each of you but in lieu of that I send my love to each of you.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you. :grouphug:

[rosesaylavee]

22. Reminds me of cleaning my desk.

Every once in awhile, I empty everything out and throw away what is broken or no longer usable. And enjoy replacing things I like and value back in an orderly fashion. My brother refers to this process as counting my paperclips. I think this is healthy.

My first run in with a very gifted psychic was with a woman who had an international reputation for healing. Started a movement in fact. I had an opportunity to sit with her once when she was back visiting this area after a long time away as she treated patients. I was her 'keeper' as she was in her 80s and if she needed me to run and get something, that was what I supposed to. Funny job now that I look back on it.

Won't say who she was as this is not exactly a complimentary post about her. She was quite kind and compassionate with the people from outside who came to see her. She was very beautiful and helpful with them and they were quite intimidated by her. HOWEVER, she was a terror on wheels to anyone who worked at this place where I was working. I think ... no, I know ...that I got the task assigned to me as I wasn't afraid of her. If she got me fired, my husband at the time could support me easily and that fear was just not there with her. So, she liked that lack of fear and I think was fond of me in her way. But I knew how she was. And it dawned on me that, prior to meeting her, I had had a preconception that psychic abilities were 'god-given' and therefore holy in someway. (Yeesh, glad I am not 20 something anymore). Anyway, I agree we all have the ability. It is a talent same as any other. Some of us use it better than others and some use it for selfish, mean reasons.

Best to you in your sorting it out. I think this is healthy.

[LaurenG]

26. Thanks Rosaylavee

I don't think there are perfect people anywhere. I think it's important though to have integrity about ourselves especially if we are teaching others how to access their gifts. I'll keep the focus on me though as that's the only way out of these conundrums. :hug:

[Why Syzygy]

23. BTDT

My feelings are shared with others who have replied. And yours. When I worked The Artist's Way late in the year 2000, I arrived at this destination as well. I recently "tried" to take on a formalized belief structure. There are so many inconsistencies and unanswered questions even in that *system*, it became unreconcilable for me. I was torturing myself mentally trying to settle all the conflicts it presented.

I believe ours is a universe, universally consisting of Energy. The thing is, we don't really even know what "energy" IS. I've recently come to the realization that due to the composition of energy, nothing is ever static. It is this energy mechanism that gives us the ability to heal ourselves. There are many other manifestations of the action, if not all of manifestation itself. There is still that, so far unknowable, Source of Life. It is the Energy that allows Light to exist; but it has the ability to be absent, revealing darkness. This dual ability seems to be above comprehension also.

Do you have any idea how you got to this new place?

[LaurenG]

27. Thank you WS

Sometimes life is fun and energetic, sometimes not so much.

As far as how I got here, It's been a journey as I'm sure you know, our perspectives change and at this point I'm seriously feeling I need to be grounded and as down to earth as I can be. :hug:

[Why Syzygy]

28. Definitely a journey.

I'm sure we all have our own experiences which brought us to this place.
The ability to change tracks is essential, imo, as many times as needed. We did it!

No. The universe does not support disempowerment or misappropriated focus. Some psychics crave the attention and operate from the fear that they may fall from grace. When you sanction the fleeting magnetism of money and disregard the clients ability to nurture and care for his or her own Sacred self, you become a false guru, a fraud whose well-meant intentions become alchemized into the business of business at the expense of a needy, uncomfortable client. When you are driven by money for the sake of self-grandiosity or erroneous security, the universe will never support such a plan.
http://www.whispy.com/psychic-dependency.htm

[Why Syzygy]

25. Forgot one thing ..

in which I believe. Infinite potentialities.