Anybody want to share the tricks you use to feel stronger?

[Callie McAllie]

There are so many people hurting these days, and I fear it will get worse before it gets better. We are all going to need all the strength we can muster, I suspect.

When I was young, in a new job and newly divorced, I used to envision myself as a cougar (long before that word took on the sexual meaning it has today). Strong and sleek and fast, and a little fierce, so don't mess with me. It really helped me, I think, to get through that uncertain time. (These days I just picture myself as Carrie Moss in the Matrix. That scene where she's walking toward the helicopter.)

What tricks do you use to make yourself feel stronger or more focused?

[Celebration]

1. my semi mundane thing

I have on DVR from the Fitness Channel a combo of tai chi and kick boxing. I just fast forward through the commercials, and it takes about twenty minutes. I feel great after I do it.

[FirstLight]

2. Callie, thank you for initiating his thread!

I am one of those people feeling the pain these days..

AND, I came home and cut my hair about 3", and I am going to use the color I have had under the sink for 6 months or more because it was too "bold"

So maybe that is part of what I do to feel stronger...I re-invent my 'avatar' :)

Now if only I could get my butt moving and doing some taichi or kickboxing! lol not there YET

... maybe just a nice nature walk this afternoon ? ya, that's more my thang ;)

[Celebration]

3. Love your new avatar!!

I just changed mine a few days ago, too. I think that's a great way to embrace your power.

[FirstLight]

4. Went to a retreat on "unmasking" 2 weeks ago

I have been reeling from the "raw-ness" created by the removal of the masks I wear with myself.
The roles of victim & persecutor I hold on to... and how it manifests in my outward life...and my inner health...

so creating and embracing my personal power is crucial and profound at this moment!

I am so glad to share it and have a place (like this group) to find more readings, conversations and ideas that recognize our state of FLUX we are ALL going through.

EMPOWERMENT, not at anyone's expense, but that which revels in honoring our true selves and one another's paths and contributions...wow. Quite a lot to digest on a Saturday! lol

[Why Syzygy]

5. I have been

relaxing into the paralyzing fear. I say "welcome" to the terror and depression. One night I asked myself what would I be like if I were truly Zen. And I stay with the feelings. I recognize that "I" am not my feelings or circumstances. "I" am an observer. Rather than trying to toughen up and try to resist, I am making myself completely vulnerable and flexible.

I don't know if and how this works. It just seems like the only thing I have at the moment, so I'm going with it. I think in order to be strong, I have to allow myself to be weak.

[Cleita]

6. When I was a bartender and a person under the influence got threatening with

me, I "grew" into a bigger and stronger person than them in my imagination so I wouldn't feel fearful challenging them. It also didn't hurt that I had the law on my side and had been taught some street fighting techniques from the husband of a friend of mine.

[FirstLight]

7. I remember that trick!

I read about it in the "mists of avalon" books...the high priestess was small in stature but she could summon the energy and make herself very imposing.

cool stuff!

[Cleita]

9. I just found the DVD of "The Mists of Avalon" in a bargain bin.

I much prefer the book, but I didn't read it until after my bartending days. It just came to me to do this. It must have been my guides whispering in my ear, what to do. It was effective too. The culprits always backed off.

[BlueIris]

8. Vine essence from the Bach's people.

It's good for cultivating that "on top of the world (but not an asshole)" feeling.

[NJCher]

10. the trick of perspective

Well, first of all, I don't buy into the idea that what's happening is bad. This corrupt system of ours has to fall. That seems to be good news for people like me. It may indeed be bad for high-level corporate types but for me, I'd just as soon see the system crumble.

So my first line of defense is to reject the idea that what's happening is bad. It has gotten as corrupt as it could possibly be, so why would anyone care about saving it?

Next, some people thrive in this sort of environment. People like me, for example. I never was into displays of ostentatiousness and I've always been careful with money. Now everybody has to be, so I have plenty of people who are looking to me to give them a clue on how to get by. I have many good skills along that line (gardening and other "do it yourself" skills) and I like helping people with this sort of thing.

No longer do I have to deal with remarks like, "Well just buy a new one!" or "Just hire somebody to do it." People used to try to make me feel awkward for being careful with money; now, like I said above, they are asking me for advice.

Many of my affluent neighbors have seen their incomes fall drastically. The maids are gone and so are the groundskeepers. Now their properties look a bit more like mine--not unkempt, but certainly not perfect at all times, either.

I've been reading articles about how people are happier in lean times. And they are healthier, too!

Looking at the economic crumbling of the U.S. is more a matter of perspective. We are going from an abnormal (excess wealth) situation to one that is more in keeping with that of other people in other countries. Considering the amount of pollution and waste we generate, that is a good thing.



Cher

[Cleita]

11. What worries me about your post Cher is

how are those maids and gardeners getting by who no longer have jobs?

On edit: I have to explain, when I was living at home and growing up, my family had maids and gardeners. I myself have pretty much lived paycheck to paycheck and have to do things myself, even now. I have been retired but recently got a job because the retirement income isn't stretching that far.

I don't mean to dump on you but I really believe that the people who did survive from what trickle down really meant, being someone's servant are really going to be suffering.

[NJCher]

12. just a guess

But I imagine they are doing the same thing everyone else is doing: scrambling for work and cutting corners.

And let's not make the mistake of thinking their wages are so low there's no place left to go. I know what my neighbors were paying and it was a fair amount of money.

Should a maid or a gardener be immune to the economy? If so, why? Why shouldn't a gardener or maid have to cut corners like everyone else? Should they be a special class?



Cher

[Cleita]

13. If it was a fair amount of money and they

have to cut corners, I suppose you are right, but most maids and gardeners I have known live hand to mouth. I don't know of where the corners are to be cut. Also, where do they go for a job when they are pretty much at the bottom of the economic class?

[NJCher]

14. now there's something I can tell you for sure

Many of them go back to school, most likely at the nearest community college. I know this because I work in education. In one of my work projects, I read admissions essays and many of them are from people who realize they have to have more education to get ahead.

Tuition at county colleges here is quite reasonable and there are many ways students can take courses for free. Also, the state pays tuition for some who are displaced in the workforce.

My experience is that most of them are going into health care.

They continue working (as a maid or whatever) while they take courses. It's very difficult for them because they sometimes lack childcare or other resources they need to attend class regularly. They are stretched beyond belief, but they can be some of the best students because they are sincere and serious about their classes.



Cher

[northernlights]

17. the reality of just going back to school

NJcher, I too am rather taken aback, not only at your lack of empathy, but at your misguided belief of how easy it is to "just go to community college" while working part time. Only a few community college programs offer somewhat guaranteed employment at the back end. Those programs are high demand and highly demanding...not everybody can make it through them.

It reminds me of an interview with Charles Gibson just a couple weeks ago. He got all teary-eyed talking about meeting some big, burly factory workers laid off in Detroit and how optimistic they all were going back to school to learn to be nurses. The underlying message was clear -- it's simple...just quit whining, go back to school and learn a new trade, preferably in medical because that field is growing.

Here is the *reality* of going back to school -- at least for nursing and medical lab technology.

-- There is minimal financial aid available, thanks to Bush and Co., and it mostly goes to young people, not us middle-aged dumped by corporate murka. For many of us, the financial aid is strictly loans. I will finish a 2 year program with about $30K in debt because I've given up looking for work and am just trying to get through school and get it done.

-- The biology, anatomy, microbiology, statistics and chemistry courses are the same pre-med courses that prospective doctors take. In other words, only the very best and brightest actually can make it through. The rest will flunk out, with some amount of debt amassed.

-- Community schools (I'm in a community program through a state university) need to keep up their enrollment or go under. So, for example, my school has walk-in admission. Anybody can sign up...and they will help and encourage (and lie to) students in any way possible to get them through the pre-reqs, just to keep their enrollment tuition up. (This is based on experience. I've been patently lied to twice.)

-- 50% of our chemistry students don't make it to the 2nd semester. They flunk out and are left with some amount of debt and no job prospects.

-- 25-33% of the students in my micro lab are taking it for the 2nd time around. Rumor is that some of the pre-nursing students are taking it for the 3rd time around. Racking up debt every step of the way.

-- The actual nursing program tuition is double the regular tuition, and there is a 50% failure rate. My school has a drop-out w/full refund policy...if you drop out within the 1st 2 classes. In the nursing program last year, one professor waited (supposedly deliberately) until the 3rd week to ream out one of the students and drive her out of the program. It is that viscious.

-- The volume of homework is enormous. I'm taking 2 science classes with labs (really the equivalent of 4 courses) and study probably 40 hours/week.

-- Last year in A&P, I watched my working part time, 50-something lab partner go down...she ended up hospitalized and seriously ill. I honestly don't know if she survived.

-- This year I lost my 50-something chemistry lab partner. She realized 4 or 5 weeks into the course that she wasn't going to make it. She dropped Statistics last year for the same reason. She works part time and is crawling through school 1 course at a time. At this rate, she'll be pushing 60 before she can sit for her MLT certification exams.

-- The program director for my MLT program has now had a recurrence of cancer. Rumor (from someone with inside knowledge) is that she won't be running the program in the near future. So is my program going to disappear out from under me? Will a new director add a new bunch of requirements? Or will I now have to commute twice as far to another community branch to finish the program? Who knows?

-- The state has just cut the university budget by $8M, with more cuts to come. The prez of our part of the university says it won't affect spring courses or spring financial aid. Everything after that is in the air, but this part of the university was nearly closed post 9/11, so anything is possible. Will I have to move 5 hours north to the other half of the university to finish the program? Who knows?

-- You cannot work part time during the clinicals. They are full time, 40 hours/week... and unpaid for 4-5 months.

[NJCher]

18. not all programs are mismanaged

Maybe you can give me some feedback on what I said that sounds uncompassionate? Maybe cut and paste a line or two?

I tried to see what state you're from but your profile doesn't tell. Your program sounds horribly mismanaged. Not all programs here are managed well, either. I know of a male nursing student who dropped out of one near here because of what sounded like sheer incompetence in getting the students familiar with what they needed to pass the state exams. The schools I'm affiliated with, however, seem to be well managed. For example, while they maintain the open policy, they are very good at testing people and placing them in the right classes. Would it shock you if I told you 80 per cent of one of our community college's students are in remedial classes? Would it shock you also if I told you that I am friends with many of the teachers of such classes and that they love their work, their students, and that they tell me this is the most rewarding work they've ever done?

My point is that sometimes people can get it right. I consider myself lucky to be in such an environment because it's not always that way.

But my point of objection is that it is not just maids and gardeners who are having a rough time. A neighbor of mine ended up in a psychiatric institute for nearly 10 days because technology has made his occupation obsolete. For years, the lives of he and his family were miserable. I saw this person age 20 years. They cannot sell their house and they cannot afford to stay in it. My point is that this person, because of past wealth, was eligible for nothing--not one thing. No schooling, no unemployment, nothing. This person is now working in a job where he makes 40% of what he used to make. It took a long time to find this job, too.

But at least in our state, tuition/education is offered for lower income people, which is better than nothing. There are no age limits on it, and older people are not discriminated against in getting that aid. It sounds like you are saying this is nothing, in which case I strongly disagree with you. It's not a walk in the park but that's all a society can do: offer the opportunity.

Also, I don't think you really read my post. It says very clearly that it's not easy for them to go back to school and work part-time. I see it first hand in my classes and as a teacher, I work with them in whatever ways I can.



Cher

[northernlights]

19. "Well, first of all, ...

I don't buy into the idea that what's happening is bad."

It may not be bad for you, but reading your next post, it sure looks like it was bad for your neighbor. And I know it's been very difficult for me and it has been for other people on this board. The original thread was about personal strategies for getting through these hard times. Denying the existance of hard times because you're not the one suffering...when people have had to leave this board because they couldn't pay their electric bill, when people have had to withhold vet care from sick or injured pets...lacks compassion, imho.

"This corrupt system of ours has to fall. That seems to be good news for people like me."

Nobody said the corrupt system shouldn't fall. But as Cali wrote, what is good long term -- and "good news for people like" you, is very painful for some of us short term, no matter how long and hard we tried to prepare for it, no matter how frugally we lived or how hard we planned.

"So my first line of defense is to reject the idea that what's happening is bad."

You're employed, and apparently in a stable job. Some of us are not.

I have compassion for the people who have been lured into state university nursing and medical lab programs who don't have what it takes to make it through them. I don't care whether they're maids (some of them are, and they don't make a lot in this neck of the woods) or former middle-managers like me.

And I don't have less compassion for the doomed students with free tuition. These people are sacrificing time and effort, working part time instead of full, struggling and failing anyway. So they're suffering too.

I wish there were more help for people like me and your neighbor. At 55, I shouldn't be forced to take on a mountain of debt to retool myself just to get a job.

I think it's ironic that the system gives free tuition to people without degrees, even when they lack the ability to succeed in the program, and throws the rest of us to the wolves. But that doesn't mean I lack compassion for those people. I just wish they wouldn't waste the money on them that would be better spent on those of us who are making the grades.

I'm glad the particular school you're with is well run. But in your very next sentence you go on to talk about a potential nurse dropping out because his program isn't going to prepare him properly. So for him, this isn't working out so well.

As far as which state university I'm in, what possible difference could that make? Every state is facing shrinking budgets and trying to make do and stay afloat however they can. The state just informed them last week of the latest big budget cuts. That's not a matter of bad university management -- that's a matter of Bush's sh*t economy. The fact that just 2 days later the best they could do is assure us that spring term won't be impacted isn't bad management. It's reality. They now have to look at all the programs and see where they can cut.

The MLT program I'm in will prepare me for the cert exams. That's not the issue. The issue is that DNA technology is coming on so fast, that at some point the MLT jobs are going to start requiring a BS in DNA technology. The question I ask myself is when that will happen. Will I barely start over, only to find myself having to go back to school at 58, 60...65? Should I just continue on to the BS, and not try to reenter the workforce, with about $50K in debt...at age 58?

[Why Syzygy]

21. Not to put more downer on you..

but isn't the entry wage for an MLT about $12-$15 hourly? Be sure to consider that while pondering your situation. I entered a MLT program in 1997, as an adult student. I did great in the lecture portion of A&P, but flunked lab big time. I still made a B in the class because I aced tests. I dropped out because I did not like the "lab" portion, and to a lesser degree because jobs in those field require a whole slew of vaccinations, including Hep B. There was one woman in our classes who really took to the work. They were doing a project for a local pecan grower, testing for fungus in the fruit. I think the primary question to ask is whether or not you enjoy that kind of work.

[northernlights]

22. nope, that was the 1st thing I checked

according to the government AND according to a couple local hospitals, the entry level MLT pay is ~$20/hour. It doesn't go up a lot from there, but with a chronic shortage of techs, it still should go up some over time. Some of it depends on whether you work in a hospital setting or other kind of lab.

I didn't like the A&P labs a lot, but that's because it was taught by a nurse with a love for dissection. I hated that and sucked at it. But I finished that course with a 99.68 average.

Clinicals will have to be in a hospital so will require a million and one vax, I suppose. But I'd rather work in some other kind of lab...diagnostics or testing pecans sounds good to me.

[Callie McAllie]

25. Oooh, you're a teacher

that explains a lot.

[Callie McAllie]

16. Wow, Cher, maybe you could muster a little compassion?

I am shocked at the energy of your post. There are a lot of people suffering in this economy to a much greater degree than having to let go the gardener!

I'm sorry people have been unpleasant about your frugality in the past, but that's no excuse to turn off your compassion for the folks out there who are truly hurting in the present.

Maybe in the long run we will all be healthier and happier as a result of this economic adjustment (maybe we already are, since the poor economy contributed to Obama winning the election), but in the short term people who had nothing to do with creating this problem are losing their jobs, their homes, their health, their families. That is nothing to scoff at.

Compassion is called for, not finger pointing or "I told you so's."

O8)

[NJCher]

20. not unpleasant

I'm sorry people have been unpleasant about your frugality in the past, but that's no excuse to turn off your compassion for the folks out there who are truly hurting in the present.

I don't buy into it that I'm not compassionate. I think I am. I just don't think it's productive to spend a lot of time feeling bad about what's going on. My focus is to build a new economic landscape: one where people will have truly rewarding jobs, not jobs cleaning up after rich people.

Also, I would not call myself frugal. I'm just average. I'm not extravagant and I'm not penurious.

You are reading things into my post that are not there. Now why you would want to do that, I don't know but stop it.

And as far as compassion goes, you're welcome to cry on my shoulder but I will only give you a few minutes of that and then it's on to building the new economic order, not mourning the downfall of the old, corrupt one.

So to tie back to the OP, my strategy is to both look to the future and to build it!!



Cher

[northernlights]

23. wow...

"People used to try to make me feel awkward for being careful with money;"
versus
"not unpleasant"


And from "And let's not make the mistake of thinking their wages are so low there's no place left to go. I know what my neighbors were paying and it was a fair amount of money."

to

"it is not just maids and gardeners who are having a rough time."

and now "you're welcome to cry on my shoulder"

Exactly where did anyone ask to cry on your shoulder? The original thread was about specific strategies to deal with hard times. Nothing about looking for sympathy there. Sheesh.

"You are reading things into my post that are not there."
Pot, meet kettle.




"Now why you would want to do that, I don't know but stop it."

Not so much a question of people want to read things that aren't there as your self-contradiction from one post to the next, or even one paragraph to the next.

[Callie McAllie]

26. Thanks, northernlights

I appreciate your speaking up.

[NuttyFluffers]

15. i think of myself as an overawing vision radiating the beatific light of love

its scintillating light casts out all darkness and confusion in myself and others, preventing the need of any show of strength or protection in the first place. the clarity strikes like a drop in a still pool of water.

:D

[Shallah Kali]

24. Protector/Warrior Goddesses - Kali, Durga, Morrigan, Bastet

I think of them and usually get psyched up. I picture Kali standing behind me ready to kick somebody's behind if they try to harm me and since she has extra arms she can give me a comforting hug at the same time :) Also I do little visulizations of taking my inner kids to my sacred spot to play with and be nurtured by my guides. I can do self-healing and ask my guides for healing there as well or simply get a good hug from Kwan Yin.

[northernlights]

27. I have a number of things I do

but the most effective ones don't usually come out until my back is against a wall.

I've been meditating off and on for nearly 40 years.

Sometimes listening to particular music, depending on the situation I'm dealing with, helps put me where I need to be.

Sometimes I just retreat to an inner place with my guardian angels holding me and whispering in my ear, while the storm passes.

Sometimes I plan on a legal course of action while at home. When I've done this, often I've not had to actually take the action. For example, my mother used to phone screaming at me. Then they invented answering machines. That protected me from coming home from a hard day at work to a phone ringing, and picking it up only to have abuse screamed at me. Then she started leaving screaming abusive messages on my answering machine. I couldn't live like this, so I decided I would have to get a court restraining order against her. I saved the first recording and put a new tape in the machine with the identical message from me. She immediately stopped the abuse. I honestly think that, hundreds of miles away, she knew.

I have a new meditation based on a "dream" I had last spring. In the dream I was dying and heading toward the light, but chose to come back. Based on specific circumstances, too long to go into, I don't believe it was an ordinary dream but was real. A few weeks ago I started feeling the same physical symptoms as last spring, although not nearly so intense. And I tried to go back to the place where I had been in the dream. I can go there in memory, but not in full experience yet. I think when I can go there by choice, I will be able to leave when I'm ready. But visiting there and practicing reminds me that it is my choice. I came back because my animals need me. Caring for them is the reason I'm here.