I'm really upset at some DUers' comments to me

[LiberalEsto]

In a discussion on another forum about swimmer Mike Phelps's 12,000 calorie a day diet, I commented that his food did not seem to include any vegetables. One person wrote that grits was a vegetable; I replied that I thought it was a grain.

I realize the guy has to load up on a phenomenal amount of carbohydrates -- my own daughters were competitive swimmers when they were younger, though not anywhere near his caliber. But I posted that it wouldn't kill him to eat a piece of broccoli or something for the vitamins and nutrients. This netted me a number of insults, including calling me a "random blowhard," on the forum.

I don't think it was necessary for them to be so rude to me, another DUer, just because I wrote that I thought Phelps would set a better example for America's youth by including a few vegetables in his diet.

Am I off-base? I am really upset about the reaction my comments got.

I've got enough stress in the rest of my life (daughter recently in a car accident; being unable to find work; having to use up most of our tiny savings to remove deteriorating siding from one side of our house; developing painful osteoarthritis in my ankles and knees; husband looking for another job; other daughter's car falling apart; worried sick about the government, economy and the election) that these comments have me nearly in tears.

[Delphinus]

1. {{{hugs}}} LiberalEsto.

:hug: Please don't let their comments get to you. They were rude, yes, no doubt, but they truly are not worth your tears.

I think the stress that you outlined above is part of why this has gotten to you so much. Just stay here and soak up some loving vibes for a while. Then, when you venture out again, you'll be in a better place. :)

[LiberalEsto]

4. Thank you so much

You're totally right. This is the best place on DU!

[I Have A Dream]

2. LiberalEsto, I've come to the conclusion that many people...

(not in this group though) come to DU looking for a fight; the adrenaline rush feeds them.

If I were you, I'd take a few seconds to breathe deeply, try to ground, and then forget about it. You know that what you're saying makes sense, and it doesn't need to be validated by anyone else.

I'm sending you some energy and a hug. :hug

[LiberalEsto]

5. Many thanks

I needed that.
:grouphug:

[Why Syzygy]

3. Grits are made from corn ..

so a grain vegetable, almost entirely starch.

:hug: LE .. I think the stress from the other things you mention is the real reason for the tears. It is certainly enough! The insults are meaningless. Literally. The people who insulted you may feel bad for acting ugly, or that may be their every day operating procedure. In either case, their behavior is not about you. You might want to step out of the line of fire, though. Until you feel better. And I hope that is real soon :grouphug:

[LiberalEsto]

6. Thank you, votesomemore

You and the other posters are right about all the other stress being the real issue.


:grouphug:

[I Have A Dream]

7. Yes, it's like the analogy of a glass being almost full and then...

just a little bit more liquid being added to it makes it overflow. Your glass was very close to full with all of things that you're going through, and that little bit of extra criticism made it overflow.

Please try to do everything that you can to make your "glass" less "full" so that you have more room. I hope that you are able to find ways to take care of yourself so that this can happen. I'm sorry that you're going through so much, LiberalEsto. :(

[Generic Brad]

21. It's been said "You are what you eat"

And there's no denying the man has an excessive amount of grit. ;)

But I do agree with you -- eating vegetables never hurts anyone. Sorry to hear you got jumped all over for making a common sense observation.

[LiberalEsto]

23. Thanks, Generic

I thought it was common sense too.

[Cleita]

13. Reminds me of what Molly Ivins once said about polenta.

She said polenta was grits and there wasn't any way to dress them up with a fancy name. I'm paraphrasing what I remember her saying of course. LOL

[elleng]

33. She was prolly right,

but also think Italians don't think 'polenta' is a fancy name!

[hvn_nbr_2]

8. Anyone who thinks that advocating eating a few vegetables...

makes you a blowhard is themself a blowhard and a stupid one at that. Ignore them.

[LiberalEsto]

10. I'll try

It just seemed like their reaction to my comments about vegetables was a bit much

[SeattleGirl]

9. Your stress makes you vulnerable to feeling hurt by comments

like that. Not that there is an excuse for people who post them; I agree with the comment upthread that some people seem to come to DU just to stir things up.

Definitely hang around here for awhile. The goodness in this forum can more than balance out the bad energy of the folks in the other forum intent on insulting you.

:hug:

[LiberalEsto]

11. You're right about the stress

I've also got a full house at the moment, with six adults, one daughter's barely housebroken puppy, and two very resentful cats.

My younger daughter and her boyfriend are home from college for the summer. The other daughter and her boyfriend just came back from New Orleans and are staying here until they find jobs and an apartment in Baltimore. I'm paying the guys to do the exterior siding.

And my DH comes home between 8 and 10 at night ranting about his horrible boss and the 3-hour round trip commute by Metro.

Thank you for the hug, and back at you :hug:

[Cleita]

12. A lot of DUers are unnecessarily rude and I believe for many of the rude

ones it's deliberate. They just want to insult you and if you say something they can pounce on they will. I have narrowed down a number of abusers. I have them on ignore. I can't be bothered most of the time with their meaness.

:hug:

[ailsagirl]

16. Good response, Cleita!! And good solution :=)

[SeattleGirl]

17. Exactly, Cleita!

I got jumped on last night by someone who said I didn't know what I was talking about, and I needed to think things through before I just shot my mouth off. I think the person was projecting, because that was essentially what he was doing to me.

I did make one response to him, but literally had to bite my tongue so that I didn't say what was on my mind. My immediate reaction was a white hot anger, but I kept my response more in the middle-pink range :) .

Then I logged off, because I knew part of my reaction was because I was tired, and while I don't have a whole lot of patience for people like that, I have almost zero when I'm tired, so its best to remove myself from a confrontational situation.

[LiberalEsto]

24. I thought we were all on the same team

but I guess I was wrong.

Thanks, Cleita!

[Cleita]

29. I have my doubts as to whose team some of them are on.

I don't think it's ours, which is why they do what they do. Some, whom I know are RWingers have been here for years, but have managed not to get tombstoned. I think others are just mentally ill and get a thrill over upsetting us. It's best not to interact with them unless you are prepared to be insulted. Sometimes the attacks are because if what you said debunks what they said, they have to take a shot at you, usually one that is below the belt. I do call them on ad hominem attacks and remind them of the rules on occasion but I usually can't be bothered.

[Grateful for Hope]

31. I think this is true, Cleita. n/t

[saracat]

14. I am so sorry. Some folks on an anonymous message board feel they have license to be abusive

You did not deserve that LiberalEsto. Much light and hugs to you. Do something nice today. They aren't worth bringing the negativity into your life! :hug: :hug: :hug:

[LiberalEsto]

25. Thanks, saracat

and a hug to you too

:hug:

[ailsagirl]

15. Hang in there-- I know what you mean about nasty posts...

I rarely post anymore because I do take it personally
and know I oughtn't

A lot of DU-ers feel the same way-- don't forget that
Ignore button!! My list has grown... :eyes:

:hug:

[LiberalEsto]

26. I've never felt a need to ignore anyone

in 6 years as a DUer, but things have changed.

Maybe we're all suffering from Bush fatigue?

:hug:

[ailsagirl]

30. Perhaps!! I wouldn't be at all surprised....

But thoughtful, sensitive, and caring people tend to get
hurt easier than others. I don't know about you, but I am
an introvert and, as such, I move away (literally and
figuratively) from loud, rude, and insensitive people. I
try not to judge them-- I just figure that's who they are.
(I know I'm labeling them but just to make my point.) :)
I'm going to start posting here because people are like
me. You know, in all the years I've been with DU (I
forget now when I signed up but it was post-9/11), I have
never posted a nasty post. Never. I'm not trying to sound
like I'm an angel, but I'd never post anything hurtful.
Nor do I say mean things to people-- I guess the bottom
line is that I'm an adherent to the Golden Rule.

:toast:


P.S. At least, I've never posted a nasty post putting down
a DU member. But I am guilty of posting pejorative things
about junior. A thousand times!! :eyes:

[BuelahWitch]

35. LiberalEsto my ignore list has grown significantly in the past couple weeks too

:hi: It could be Bush fatigue, or just that I finally realized that these people weren't going to change and it wasn't doing me any good reading their nastiness. As Cleita said, some people just enjoy being nasty. The internet is an anonymous medium, for the most part. I get too much good information from DU to just leave, so it's best to put the meanies on ignore.

[MorningGlow]

18. Hide here, LE

It's good for the soul. :D

Yeah, it can get ugly out there. I think it was expected that DU would settle down once the primaries were over, but everyone's stayed cranky. I do hope it's not permanent!

Remember to breathe, LE. One day at a time. This too shall pass. And check in here as often as needed for :grouphug:

[LiberalEsto]

27. Thanks, MorningGlow

one...two...three...inhale...exhale

wow!

[ailsagirl]

Hi MorningGlow

I'm going to start posting on this forum because it's
a jungle out there (the rest of DU). Not everywhere,
but you're taking your life in your hands when you
post anything that's "against the grain." It's no fun
having 100 people jumping down your throat-- in fact,
there's no call at all. People can disagree in a
pleasant manner, after all. Many, unfortunately, choose
to slam others. I don't care for that.

Anyway, hello all!!

:hi:

[RayOfHope]

19. I'm so sorry, LiberalEsto. People here sometimes post without thinking.

I posted what I thought was a very innoucuous thread once, there was absolutely nothing inflammatory about what I posted and a couple of posters went nuts on me.

For what its worth, my thoughts were the same as yours regarding Phelps' diet. There is definitely room for improvement. I don't care if one is an Olympian or not, 10 eggs a day is really unhealthy!

Hang in there and be gentle with yourself. :hug:

[JanusAscending]

20. How is Lily doing????

Still praying for her, and hope that no news is good news????

[RayOfHope]

22. Shame on me for not giving an update! She's doing terrific

and double shame on me because she got better so quickly. I'm going to post an update in a new thread.

[LiberalEsto]

28. Thanks, dadsblacksheep

It's amazing what will set people off sometimes.

I saw an interview with a nutritionist on BBC who said if Phelps continued to eat this way he would need to see a cardiologist. Let's hope this type of menu is only temporary. My main concern was that kids would read about his food intake and decide to eat just like him.

:hug:

[DU GrovelBot]

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[arikara]

34. I now have several on ignore

and it is a lot more pleasant on this board, believe me. I nearly left at one point until I clued in that the ignore feature is our very good friend. Now instead of confrontation and hurt feelings, I just add another name to the list. It happens rarely now because most people really are not like that and I have corralled the 10 or so that can be really nasty.

Light and Love to you!

[MrMickeysMom]

36. Grains, Veggies and Carbs aside...

... their comments don't deserve a response because them that wrote em have access to a thousand dollar computer only to use a 10 cent mind.

You, on the other hand, along with me and other human beings here know that life is a period of stability and chaos. So... YOU hang in there!

Stability's around the corner.
:hi:

[NuttyFluffers]

37. DU has been keenly hostile of late. mix of 8 yrs of *, and primary/election year.

it's not always satisfying to hear this, but i do suggest not to take any of this personal. Penny Arcade's assessment about folks on the Internet is pretty spot on, "people + audience + anonymity = total fucktard". it's kind of the price of communication on it.

that said try to find sanctuaries and safe spots to salve yourself from the routine savaging. in some ways it'll never end, hostility and dominance being a part of human social framework. but if you are sensitive to such things, it's nice to find a place to take a break every now and then.

[saracat]

38. Wise words indeed!

[AnnieBW]

39. People are idiots

However, I'm sure that Michael Phelps or the US Swim Team has a nutritionist on staff to make sure that they are all eating their vegetables as well as other stuff. Remember that these aren't kids swimming in their local swim team here. The Olympics are as big as it gets.

[Ilsa]

40. Hugs to you! Really, some people think others want to launch

the thread towards veganism or something just because you suggest he eat a few veggies for better nutrition. Some people are too sensitive and they take it out on others. Looks like you caught their "shit" for the day. I hope it gets better for you.

Seriously, there are a handful of people who seem to enjoy misunderstanding posters. Or maybe they write on the fly, not realizing how insulting their post reads. I usually ignore them. Most on DU are good solid people who don't want to hurt others' feelings. Hang in there.

[Eurobabe]

41. DU requires a thick skin or a fast hand on the IGNORE button

I've been on here for almost 6 years, and DU has more than its fair share of pricks. Something about anonymous message boards, it's a sickness that some people employ because they are too weak in real life to sort out their issues, so they come on forums/boards and bash the hell out of people.

I have over 150 people on ignore, pay these idgits no mind, they aren't worth your tears. :hug:

[Andrea]

42. There is absolutely no reason for people to be so rude.

Check out the link in my sig line if you would prefer to be treated with respect.

[LaurenG]

43. My take on this is that at any point in time there will be some

who I term "prickly." They are those looking for a fight and I have to say that during and right after the primaries even I became prickly and angry.

People have strong likes and opinions around here and so I have added a few people to ignore.

I ignore their threads and replies. Those who think they have the only valued opinion are now on that list. There are only four or five in there and this has saved me from having to read their condescending and very opinionated posts. I care very much about two of them but when they start posting about how everyone else is wrong that doesn't agree I just save myself the aggravation.

Do not under any circumstances buy into their ugliness, it's really not about you at all, it's about them and their little world.

Anyway, I'm sorry that this happened to you, I hope you realize that most of us here don't talk like that to anyone.