This is a moral dilemma for me...maybe you have suggestions

[Digit]

Repeating patterns in relationships, mostly work related, but happened in marriage relationships with men as well.
Specifically, being bullied, and abused emotionally. Discrimination at work, now to the point
that I may be let go.
Perhaps it is all related to astrology (8-15-51 5:57am Wash DC)


But then again, maybe it is karmic.

I generally have not fought back, not wanting to sink to their level or incur more
karmic debt myself.

Does it keep happening because I have NOT fought back? If I complain, I get written up.
I am talking fighting back dirty because I have enough dirt on THEM to get them in BIG trouble.

I have always tried to treat others as I would want to be treated. Of course when I am
"written up" for something bogus, I have told them it was not true, but that part never
went on the report...just my signature.

Don't say get another job....there are none...I have checked over and over and I actually like my job...it is the direct management and co-worker who are the problems. They have bonded like brothers.

[I Have A Dream]

1. I'm sorry that this is happening, Digit.

I can't address the astrological aspect, but I wanted to say something in reference to what you termed "fighting back dirty". I don't think that it is "dirty" to do what you have to do to keep your job when it is simply telling the truth. You're not trying to blackmail them or use the information in any way that is unethical. In my opinion, it would be fighting back, but it wouldn't be "fighting dirty".

Of course, there's no guarantee that you'll get the result that you want by bringing that information forward, and you'll have made a couple of enemies, but they already sound as though they're your enemies and at least you'll know that you did everything that you could ethically do to defend yourself. Here's a question: Would you bring this information forward if it were happening to someone else?

I will be sending energy to your situation. I hope that you are able to keep this job if it is for the highest good of all involved. Otherwise, I hope that you are able to quickly and easily find an even better position. :hug:


(On edit: I feel the need to clarify that I feel that it would be wrong to bring that information forward if you indeed were guilty of what you were being charged. However, since you stated that you're not, this is not applicable in your case.)

[Digit]

6. Thank you for the energy and the hugs....

A couple of times at work today I thought about your kind words and it gave me a nice warm fuzzy feeling.

But geez it bothers me when my character is being attacked, and I had been bottling it up for far too long.

I try to look at life as a series of lessons, and you try to learn and better yourself from life experiences. This one has me stymied tho'.

Thanks again for your concern.

[Why Syzygy]

2. It's really rough

being the "outsider". I've been there. One of the 'problems' is that I'm a stand alone and they are a herd. I was run off one job because of a bully. The next time someone tried to take advantage of me in the slightest at a new job, I waited until the next day and calmly questioned the offensive behavior in a non combative way. It worked. She never dared pick on me again. But if you get the rep for being the underdog, it seems irresistible to some people to attack. I'm currently of the opinion that silence is the best revenge. I've gone the burn bridges route, and live to regret my impulsive behavior.

Another thing .. some people are intent on making you unhappy. I can't explain it. If you are happy around them, they will spend a lot of time coming up with ways to interfere in your success. They are to be AVOIDED.

I bet you can come up with an excellent solution O8)

[Digit]

7. I have already tried the "talking it over thing" in a nice way....

I was told I was being negative.
If I "tell" on my co-worker, I get threatened with a write-up for not reporting it in the first place.

I am working on solutions...I just have yet to find a workable one.

[Why Syzygy]

8. Small detail...

I didn't "talk it over". Not saying this is your solution or anyone's. I ASKED her why she took my customer. She didn't know my experience, didn't think I could handle it. I ASKED her, do you know I have 12 years experience? No. Then I TOLD her, If there is something I can't handle, I do know how to ask for help. She said, that's good to know. She wasn't friendly or anything after that, but at least she stayed away from me and quit picking.

The job where I over reacted, I had been written up for "being negative". No concrete examples, nothing to "change" to "prove" I had overcome the complaint. I had had no verbal warnings. It was nothing but a hanging party. Still, I could have pulled through if I had not gone deep. I was too emotional at the time.

As for getting in trouble for telling ..if it is something that will get you in trouble later for NOT telling, I urge you to come clean sooner rather than later. I recently faced this is my living situation at the squirly place. I told to remove myself from someone else's situation and to avoid the possibility of more trouble later. It did that, but I had to pay consequences too.

You will. The solution is always contained within the problem.

[SheilaT]

9. Very good point

about standing up to a bully. You chose a way that was especially good in that situation.

I have found that bullies invariably crumble when their intended victim does not behave like a victim and stands up to the bully in whatever way necessary.

[stellanoir]

3. Okay I'm way too tired to look at your progressions at this hour.

But what strikes me quite strongly is that if you like your job and you are not inclined to "fight back" or "sink to their level" the only alternative in light of the fact that the pending Saturn/Uranus opposition (on election morn no less) is occurring on your Natal Venus, you've got to elevate them and perhaps "kill 'em with kindness" and your very best humor.

I know. . . it's easier said than done.

Here is a trick. . . one of "19 tricks or Weapons of Massive Creation for Global Amelioration" from many years ago.


17. OMG, I just remembered yet another wondrous trick, this one is from a
lady visionary activist who is most inspiring.
(http://www.visionaryactivism.com)
Whenever a dynamic with another breaks down and reaches an impasse, sit
down and write them a letter, and don't hold back anything you feel.
Then read the letter aloud, then burn it. As ever, be cautious with
fire. I employ the use of pliers and a cast iron skillet when I do
this. Then release the ashes into moving water. It's nice to do in
nature, but a sink or toilet will do just as well. This is how one
sends another a spiritual fax. It is great magic as it moves the
restrictions in the dynamic through all of the four elements and
purifies the emotions and sends a great healing to both you and the
higher self of the person with whom one is hassled. It works.

[Digit]

15. Stella, you gave me abit to chew on....

I am going to try your suggestion and see if that works. It makes sense, in an esoteric fashion, but then again, I believe in things like this.

Thank you for the wonderful suggestion.

[Celebration]

23. oh, man, yes

I did that once, inadvertently, sort of. I was rightfully po'ed at a situation at school, for one of my children. I spent about two weeks, every day, honing a letter. It probably took me 12 hours to write four paragraphs.

So, what did I do? Nothing. Never sent it. That was so empowering that I can't describe it.

Sooooo much irony here, because in the end the person that I wrote is now my daughter's mother in law. Thank gosh I didn't send it. As it is our relationship is somewhat cool, but civil.

So, write those letters, spend a lot of time with them. When they are perfect, you might want to send it, and you might not.

[Cleita]

4. "Discrimination at work, now to the point that I may be let go."

I sympathize with you having been a victim of this myself. Sometimes the best action is to ask for a meeting with a personnel person in your organization or if it's a small company the boss himself. If you feel you might be let go anyway, you have nothing to lose laying your cards on the table and opening up dialog to clear the air so to speak. I'm not saying it will save your job but it might and like I said at this point you have nothing to lose.

[Digit]

16. I plan on talking with HR to at least give my version of events

Nobody told me I could write my verion of events on a write up.
I kept saying it was not how it happened, but I was made to sign the write up anyway.

This gal has had enuff!

[Celebration]

5. mainly, protect yourself

Protect everything--all your auric fields, all your meridians, all your chakras. Please do this. I don't have really personal experience with this---but MUCH second hand experience. You absolutely have to stand firm and be consistent. This is the perfect time to do the mirror visualization. Whatever they try to throw you, bounce it back. This involves NO aggression on your part. It is just karma. Keep your cool. Stand firm. You are awesome. Think and feel infinite love and gratitude. You can turn off and on when you need to do so. Be calculating.......................Keep your cool and PROTECT YOURSELF>

These situations are pervasive, and potentially dangerous. Be aware, constantly aware. Think of this as a challenge, an almost amusing challenge. Sometimes things are win/lose, and you are a winner.

And (dare I say it), good luck!!

[windoe]

10. Leo is a fixed sign and there is a fixed cross

in your natal chart, Leo, Taurus, Aquarius and Scorpio. Fixed signs are dependable and solid in their makeup, but when stressed can get very rigid. Your Sun is very close to Pluto, a powerful combination, which has the influence of being able to see through situations, (this is why you have 'dirt' on them). You may not realize that you may be intimidating to them, being a Leo with Sun (Leo's ruling planet!) in the first house gives you huge presence, at least on an energy level. having a Moon in Capricorn gives you an advantage since you are rarely hysterical, and are good in an emergency or under stress, but it opposes Mars which gives you a lot of doubts.

Here's what I think, try talking with them (like the post above suggested), and ASK a lot of questions, with the intent of finding out how the people directly above you think. You want to come across as completely open and interested in their ideas and philosophy in how they want the organization to run. Respond to everything they say with another question, even if emotionally you are repulsed and disagree with their viewpoint. You will present yourself as someone who is willing to work WITH the program. You may be barfing inside, but on the outside you will have learned a lot from them.

I am not suggesting you kiss up to them at all, but the martial arts of it is when pushed, absorb and use the energy to your own advantage. If nothing else you will learn the deeper aspects of this power structure and use the wisdom gained for future employment. Being a solid and fixed sign person, you need to develop more fluidity. Envision a way through this situation, not just closed doors in front of you, but open ones.

edited to add: Some people are predators, and they like good targets, love to piss people off. Reminds me of a job I had that was a tight club of people and they used me for a short time, were abusive and my skills did not matter to them at all. Even though I did nothing wrong, I had a glimpse into this bad cartoon and could recognize these types of people on sight after that. Man there are some hellish jobs out there, good luck to you!!!

Hope this helps, :) I am not an astrologer but this is what I think.

[rumpel]

11. on abuse

I have been working on all sorts of abuse issues and recently had to reflect quite a bit about my life so far. I recently realized that life was throwing me these situations so I can work on breaking this cycle.
The first step was, to my surprise, to realize how much of the abuse existed throughout my life. Seemingly harmless or innocent comments made in childhood, the old authoritarian way of upbringing etc.etc.
In my astro readings at astro.com, it would talk about "child hood trauma & parents", and honestly, I was really puzzled on that one for years - until last year.

Handling these situations in a dignified way is very difficult. Perhaps the following link can give you some insight, as it gave me.

No, digit, fighting back the dirty way is continuing the cycle. What I know from experience, the "abusers" have unresolved fears themselves. I have a feeling they are afraid of a woman encroaching on their self worth.

I send you positive vibes, digit. I hope the conflict in the office will resolve quickly.



here is the link:
This one seemed to make things clearer to me. She talks about the imaginary world the abuser lives in and one of the kids in my kids’ group said, “And they are President of their world. That is so right. The abuser is the only one who is right, who can have an opinion, who knows everything. who can ask questions, who doesn’t have to answer questions. You get the picture. So when we find ourselves defending our actions, or decisions, we are being drawn into their world. They want us to believe that we are wrong or stupid, or irresponsible. They are redefining who we are and if we were to believe what they are saying we would believe ourselves to be someone we are not. I like how Patricia says,” someone we are not.” It gives me hope. I am not who they are defining me to be. She has also written other books of this same nature to be found on the link below..
http://www.angelfire.com/vt/rcwn/Pagefourteen.html

[Why Syzygy]

12. Very nice, Rumpel.

Love the quote at the link, and ... "Encroaching on their {lack of} self worth" ..
This ties in, also, with the prisoner theme I wrote about, oneupmanship. I've noted, in these types, that they lack an understanding of Universal Principle, that being, when one is lifted, we are all lifted. The more you have, the more I HAVE! They cannot tolerate someone being "more" than they judge themselves. I was constantly defending myself, and wondering WHO! do you think you're talking to? It sure wasn't "me". Issues and unresolved dramas. Leave me out! ;)

[rumpel]

13. that gave me an idea

maybe when conflict arises...

we should all take each others hand, stand in a circle and just hum "ohmmmmmmmm". :)

I had a big run in with my daughter last week and I lost my cool - it is odd, she was only 4 when she witnessed all the abusive ways my ex displayed, she is repeating his violent behavior - but then again, mom uses emotional blackmail, too - we have to break the cycle...

It is very difficult to disengage - can I envision myself heeding my own suggestion? No. We are all students...but, someday. :)

[Digit]

14. Rumpel, you make me breathe a sigh of relief...

Both of these men married women who were more accomplished than themselves. I had already figured by picking on me, it was their way of feeling superior.

Having never been a vengeful person, it was against my grain to seek revenge or fight dirty.

But when you are given the same scenario over and over, you begin to wonder (at least I did!), if you should be doing something different.

I plan on talking with HR to see if I can retroactively make my comments and give my version of events, but I really don't want to stoop to their level.

Thanks for your input...it helps me alot!

[rumpel]

17. I am glad...

no need to stoop down - remember detach in a caring way.

:)

I'll be sending you good vibes...

[I Have A Dream]

18. The issue, in my opinion, is really one of intention.

If you'd be bringing what you know forward to get back at/get even with the people, then it would be karmic. However, if the reason that you'd be bringing the information forward is truly to protect your job when you did not do what you are accused of doing, then there is no negative karma. Intention is everything here.

The difficulty lies in truly knowing why we are doing it, because it's very easy to rationalize things by saying that we're doing it for one reason when that's not really the predominant reason. Being really, really honest with oneself is extremely important here, just as it always is.

[Digit]

19. Dear Friends, my situation has escalated, ALOT!

Everything has escalated and I was sent home today as soon as I arrived at work, with an utimatum.
I am a single parent, so have nobody else to rely upon to help with bills, etc.

Any enlightenment in my chart that anyone can share?
I need help more than ever.

I am going to bed now as I am on emotional overload.

Thanks in advance for your caring and concern.

[Dover]

20. Hi Digit.

((hugs))

Okay, take a deeeeeep breath, hold it for 20 seconds and exhale slowly. Honestly, do some breathing just to bring some balance to your overtaxed system.


I'm up way too late and am fading fast, but want to mention a pattern in your chart that stands
out to me.

First, the eclipse energy is nearly upon your Ascendent/Descendent axis, so surely it must be time to bring this issue and pattern to new awareness, and perhaps this situation is the catalyst. It's time for a new birth and a new lens through which to see the world and this reality.

Secondly, it's the natal Mars in the twelth house (of the unconscious/hidden enemies) opposing the natal Moon in the 6th House (of work environment/service/health) and that opposition forming a square to the Midheaven/Nadir axis that stands out most to me based on your description.

This time of the year (from about mid July thru mid Aug) may be particularly difficult too
because the transiting Sun (and any other transiting planets that might happen to be in the latter degrees of Cancer to mid degrees of Leo such as Mercury at this time), are not only traveling through that difficult 12th House where we sort of go through our annual 'death' or dissolve before emerging again at the Ascendent/first house, but it also triggers that natal opposition/cross I mentioned.

Mars is the masculine action-oriented, aggressive part of ourselves. It's the energized ego that sends us courageously out into the competitive field willing to claim our place in the world and stand our ground. In the 12th house, though, this part of us seems elusive and weak because it's unconscious or undeveloped in a way that allows it full externalized expression. Instead it gets projected onto others without us realizing it belongs to us, ultimately. The 12th house is representative of hidden enemies, though often we are our own worst enemies because of these blind spots in our awareness.

Having Mars in this house might create a feeling of vulnerability to others' Martian energies whether they are using them in a healthy way or a mean and destructive way. This vulnerability is magnified when it gets tied up with the emotionally sensitive and passive Moon energy. So one of the manifestations of these two planets is passive agression which distorts both planetary energies natural expression, confusing masculinity/anger/agression/bullying/ego expression with feminine/nurturing/receptive/emotional energies. And because these two planets also square the Midheaven/Nadir, they effect you at the root as well as in your worldly pursuits, and might be a very old pattern seen perhaps in your parents or family.

The object of understanding our charts is to illuminate these energies, bring them into awareness and integrate them in new and healthier ways. So I hope you'll find ways to study and explore these planets and angles of your chart to learn more so you can get past this pattern.

You may find that come early next week, things around your work situation may become clearer as the Sun emerges from the 12th house and moves over your Ascendent, and Mercury does too and conjoins Pluto. Those are also wonderful energies for getting to the bottom of your own buried stuff as well.

I'm sure there is even more going on with transits (not to mention progressions!), but I'm getting cross-eyed.

Another hug before I go :hug: And sending you delicious, strong Mars energy balanced with the gentleness of the Moon.


P.S. In considering ways one might develop and integrate Mars energy, the martial arts come to mind. Anyway, just a thought...though I realize that there are more pressing things on your mind right now.

[Digit]

24. Thank you Dover

I got online briefly this morning before work this morning and read your message. It gave me comfort enough that I was able to hold my head up high.

There will be more happening when I speak with HR on Monday morning.

Needless to say, I am emotionally exhausted.

Thanks for all of your help.
I am sending you a PM as well.

Thanks!
:hug:

[LaurenG]

21. Digit, I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

:hug:

[Digit]

25. Thanks OB

Your hug and good thoughts made the day go by much easier.
:hug: Backatcha

[I Have A Dream]

22. I'm sending you lots of light and energy, my friend.

I wish that I could help more. I'm glad that Dover replied with the astrological information that she did.

:hug::hug::hug:

[Digit]

26. Just knowing I have friends like you made today tolerable

Light, energy and hugs, DO help.
I was a basket case up til then.
:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Why Syzygy]

27. So, what happened?

I've been away. Interested to know how things turned out.

[Digit]

28. Thanks for asking, mostly playing phone tag with HR

The situation has become critical and HR is my only recourse now.
I spoke with the head of HR briefly, and was encouraged by her support. I will be sticking to the
facts, which are easily proven. No mud slinging.

After today, I realized I need an astrologer. I don't know what it will cost, but the cost of
losing my job would be catastrophic at this point. Maybe it is just that I have been conditioned
through the continued threats of losing my job, or maybe it is just the planets, but I am
performing poorly at work of late.

Votes, it means alot to me that you asked how things were going.
Thank you.

[Digit]

29. Okay guys and gals, I need to pony up for a reading

I appreciate the freebies (Dover), they have been invaluable, but I also realize there are many computations to do progressed readings. I have tried on my own to understand astrology and was completely overwhelmed.

I am to the point of losing my job, and there aren't any others out there for a 56 almost 57 year old woman without a college degree. I am alone and my sole support, plus trying to help out my daughter who lives with me while purseuing a nursing degree.

The situation in my job has already been described.

How much would a reading be?
Dover, if this is something you are comfortable with, I am perfectly happy with you.
You have already gone out of your way to assist me, and I appreciate it so very much.

[Dover]

30. Digit, what do you really want to know right now?

Astrology aside.

[Digit]

31. Why I am blowing every sale I try to make

I work salary (small), plus commission. I manage to get the worst people through the door, the most unqualified, or children (who count as your turn), or get nobody.
One minute after my "time is up", a couple will walk through the door wanting to buy without trying the product.

I don't know whether it is because I am being "watched too closely" or whether it is my fear of doing something "wrong" that is making me create poor leads.

The people I do manage to work with, possibly I am creating an atmosphere of desperation because of the threats of being fired. I don't know.

If this is something related to astrology and someone can help me there, I am willing to do what is necessary.

I need to make it through August and make goal.
Dover, you have been an angel to me, so I hope I have answered your question.

[Dover]

32. Well, I don't know how it translates at work,

but I'm feeling your fear big time, right through cyberspace.

So how can we address that?

[Dover]

33. Let's take this to PM unless you are comfortable in this open forum...n/t

[Digit]

34. Let's go to PM, I don't want to monopolize the forum with my issues

[Why Syzygy]

36. Can you take a

leave for a week or two? Any vacation time?

[Why Syzygy]

37. If I were going to pay

I would get Rick. He seems to have a whole lot of insight and is excellent at explaining.
my .02

[Dover]

38. That sounds like an excellent idea! Does he do it long distance?

[Why Syzygy]

39. Yes!

http://www.starself.com/ < contact information

[Dover]

35. An FYI for anyone reading this as per my doing astrological chart readings.

I don't do them, and would not charge if I did. Just a personal choice.

I do assist folks on occassion if I've got the time and feel the inclination and/or feel I might be of some help.
This may involve some astrological info but never a full chart reading.
Just wanted to make that clear so as not to get requests for chart readings.