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In a good way, Umm, I find my hands automatically go into some of those positions.Most of the time I am not aware of it when I do it,it's automatic. My cohorts has given me some good natured ribbing about my hand gestures I wave my hands around when I talk like an italian occultist..(Smirk)..
So more weirdness today when I was talking to my therapist, she freaked me out today.Was very unlike herself. I was there telling her about how alienated and all I feel.Meanwhile a couple of people were playing frisbee outside not close enough to hear anything we were saying so I didn't care they were out there.
I said something about shit hitting the fan and I put my hand up,that sideways way like the site you linked to, over my face,and as soon as I put my hand down the frisbee ricocheted off the window. If the window wasn't there it would have nailed me in my face. She noted the precognitive of my movement said something to me about it. I said something about my aura extends itself automatically sometimes as defense especially when I am out walking. I went back to the topic of betrayal and She started telling me maybe I should get used to this soul crushing loneliness isolation,and alienation that I should stay away from people..(??) I was talking about betrayal,and she basically told me I have to tolerate betrayal from my friends and get used to being lonely and painfully alienated. WTF??
So I told her that she maybe didn't understand what I meant by betrayal or I didn't express my emotions well. Suddenly she got all arrogant on me acting like she could read my mind or something,I told her you are not experiencing my emotions or situations as I am are you?,admit it you are guessing than,she admitted she was guessing,I thanked her for that, than she began to tell me I have to tolerate ignorant people,but hold them accountable after-wards.
I told her I do that already but there are certain things that are violations of boundaries.Making them accountable it doesn't help ease the pain,the frustration and betrayal of trust I have to deal with now after it's been done.I am tremendously lonely and told her I wished for a companion to stand by me someone I could stand with who wasn't a callous manipulating sadistic asshole and face this world together, it would make life alot more bearable..I wished for a world with less assholes in it... She asked for examples of past betrayals I began to tell her and she basically read alot of shit into it that I didn't feel anymore. I told her that was not how I felt about it now.
Than she gave me this weird look at first I thought maybe she was getting off on my pain, but no I didn't want to think she was really that vile.I looked at her again to search her face and body language to see if she really didn't care at all, and rhan I saw something like a transparent distorted mask for a split second move over her face.An agent of Archons! My hand went into the"fear not" position, palm out and I turned away from her then my hand went sideways against my chest and in my mind without consciously I began to protect myself with fire and sigils and my mind started to engage in the process of exorcising her.
It was all parts doing it by them self, different people doing this while I continued to talk to her. I was in multidimensional mode the moment I got there. She began to argue that she was so sure she knew how I was feeling, and she was linguistically putting in catch 22's if I disagreed with her opinions. I got frustrated said something along the lines of why all the broken empathy? That's evil,Maybe that's why every thing's dying, maybe it would be good for ignorant evil people to be wiped out,if they don't want to even try to care.. And meanwhile as I was saying that, I was hearing in my head The names of Sekhmets arrows,repeating, the heart sutra ,repeating, Gate Gate Paragate Parasmagate Bodhisvaha! and Aum aha aum abba aima - aum Sa Sekem Sophia sahu, being repeated in my head over and over again,fast,while I was talking to her..I didn't tell her about the other's speaking.
Than while walking out of her office I saw it,again this spirit in her mocking me,and so in my mind Sekhmet put her crook into it and began to flail it, in my mind (an Abraxas image) the three chants were still repeating in my head, then involuntarily I spoke it very quietly,I could barely hear it, so I know she couldn't. Than she began to cough suddenly as we followed each other in the hall to the waiting area.Hearing her hacking,pretty hard I turned around offered her a drink off my water bottle to ease her throat and she refused..at the same time the lightning went off and into her.I couldn't control it.I was holding my hand without the bottle in position involuntarily along my solar plexus, thinking back I think it is a sign of destruction.
I dunno what it will do for her or why it happened today of all days yet.Things happen through me pretty often.
Spiritual things in general have gotten over the top with, visions,and synchronizations,craziness .It's not just me dealing with it either my roommates have been seeing spiritual beings and they too detect the atmosphere is off and feel things are very threatening outside the borders of my fortress "fence".My house is a spiritual fortress,but it's like the forces of the archon are doing their hardest to fuck with me,my friends, my house and it is getting hard to cope with the attacks,helping the people suffering from it, dealing the ignorant,the possessed, the evil,the assholes..I noticed the grid is being fucked up,so is time,the weather,the behavior of people and animals outside is fucking crazy and senseless.
I see it, my roomies see it,other people who aren't even spiritual sense it.There is some sort of serious shit going down right now in spirit realms out in my area that is really unsettling even on the physical plane,I have been warned years ago about these spiritual changes but I never thought it would be here so soon..
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