Befriend Your Fears: Shine the light of compassion on all that frightens you to find healing and fre

[Shallah Kali]

http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2517

This is a struggle for me. I am down right phobic about so many things it is difficult to sit with the fear instead of closing down to it which closes me down to everything. Usually when fear or other overwhelming emotion hits I try to suppress it instead of letting it flow. Letting it flow does not mean *acting* on it. It means feeling the feeling until it is used up. Or at least sticking with it a moment at a time, letting my mind shy away until I bring it back to examine the difficult emotion that is troubling me at that moment. It is like with phobia patiences are exposed bit by bit to their fear starting small and working the way up to their worst state to desensitize them. I try it more the way this article describes where I try to give it space to be felt even if only for one breath instead of trying to shove it away creating more Stuff in my shadow. It builds emotional tolerance so that I find that when I encounter new things that bother me instead of being overwhelmed at times I can be with the fear, facing it and letting it go of it's own course.

One breath at a time I extend compassion to myself creating a little inner peace even in the midst of inner chaos. It may sound out yet I have found that I can feel completely opposite emotions as the exact same time. I can grieve a great loss while feeling great joy that I had known that which I grieve.

[Why Syzygy]

1. I know exactly what you mean.

When you stop resisting, pushing against a feeling, it eventually softens and melts away. Something else that has helped me when facing things I fear deeply is to realize what I really fear are the feelings that I expect might come from whatever it is I fear. It's a loop. My feelings are fearing future feelings! It isn't the EVENT I fear. I fear the consequences and consequential FEELINGS. Wow.

[Chovexani]

2. People think I'm nuts, but this has always worked for me

The Bene Gesserit sisterhood's Litany Against Fear, from the Dune novels. It's a powerful affirmation and works really well for me. I close my eyes and enter a semi-meditative state, then chant the words. When you combine it with Pranic Breathing it REALLY works wonders, especially with anxiety attacks, I've found.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

[Metta]

4. Good stuff, Chovexani.

I like that "... to see its path ...." That brings peace and harmony and the ground of one's own nature.

[Chovexani]

6. It's really very deep to be so short.

I'm still having "ah ha!" moments with it, even after all this time.

Frank Herbert really had some interesting stuff in his books.

[crikkett]

8. I remember that.

Frank Herbert was once one of my favorite authors.

[AZBlue]

9. "Only I will remain."

That hit home with me - it's important to remember that we really are stronger than our fears, even though it may not feel that way at the time. Thanks!

[DemExpat]

3. Until I stopped running and faced down my fears

it was a losing battle against phobias, constant acute anxiety and panic, depression.....medications did not help me with these in any substantial way. Facing them down is not fighting them, but standing up to them in peace and strength

Running only increased their power, and in the long run, turning to face them down was uncomfortable ( what an understatement!) but highly rewarded by relief, peace, calm, and a discovery of my own inner strength. This all built up slowly in time.

Facing the fear, even welcoming it in, breathing peacefully as possible and trying to nurture/support myself (as I could nurture my pets and children) in the process were the wonder tools for me and my path at that time.

I also have the idea that I was taming my ego as well, as I feel it was my ego wanting to control everything that happened to and with me that was a big factor in the all-pervasive state of my panic and anxieties. Giving up the fight for control/flight=development of REAL inner strength - in my experience.

DemEx

[Shallah Kali]

10. fear of the fear can often be worst than the fear itself

I used to panic at the thought of having a panic attack. I can still trigger one if I try to describe what one is like to someone. I started by working on the small fears like worry wartisms and anxiety about being late to an appointment. I am trying to pass that on to my Mom when she frets when stuck in traffic. Fretting oneself into a froth will not make the traffic move nor propel one faster once traffic DOES start moving. You are either going to be late or not and there is nothing about being anxious that will get you there faster.

[Metta]

5. Lots of success doing this.

Hi, Shallah. I know how crippling and diminishing this struggle is. I've had real success for both myself and others I've shared this with. Eye movement reprocessing. Simple, physical movements somehow relax and defuse held energy and release fear. Check out any of the videos.


Warm regards.



http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=eye+movement+desensitization+video&btnG=Search

[Pathwalker]

7. I used to be terrified of basements, due to a very bad

night I spent locked in the darkened coal bin in a basement where I lived, over thirty years ago. After that, I just couldn't bring myself to go down into one, even though my current home's basement is huge, deep, and well-lit.
Finally, one day, I'd had enough, and forced myself to go down there, to the farthest, darkest corner, and scrub the heck out of it. I argued with myself for an hour before I dug up the courage to face my fear, but by the time I was done cleaning, I knew I had conquered far more than dusting cobwebs - I had learned a new, braver way to face life. I've learned to face my fears, and walk through them, rather than allowing them to have power over me. One fear at a time. Hey, it's a long list.
:hi:

[crispini]

11. Thanks, that's a great article! nt