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and since you sound like you aren't living there anymore there's little in the way of testing out your hypothesis.
could've been a sad spirit upset at an untimely death. considering it was the attic, and felt like an adult, makes me lean close to the idea that it was a suicide, possibly by hanging. not overtly malicious, but pretty unpleasant, which would sound like the carry over of despair and bitterness of a suicide. probably wanted to either be left alone to brood, most likely. or could possibly wanted to communicate, less likely.
the fact that your siblings, pets, and childhood friends all felt various incarnations of ill ease in the room, and occasionally various phenomena rules out night terrors. it also rules out personal hallucinations. also the frequency rules out random mind tricks from exhaustion.
it could possibly be a localized mass hallucination. but there's several factors that dissuade that argument. first off, it happened more than once, at different times, and with different variables of people/living things present. second, it couldn't be a function of bad decor, poor feng shui or the like, because you said it was decorated in a cheery manner and the atmosphere was the exact opposite.
no, through a process of elimination we are left with a difficult to explain condition. it *could* be a ghost. i myself am prone to agreeing that it is a ghost. what details of circumstantial evidence we have tends to lend credence to a genuine haunting, and a particularly localized haunting at that. with what i have to go with you grew up with an unhappy camper of a ghost in your attic.
it *could* be something else that took residence there. but considering the gloom, while lack of life-threatening malice, and the relatively low level of livelihood interference i would say ghost of a suicide. the veil was harder to breach, the will to destroy and corrupt not present, the general dissuasion of company, etc. lends me to that conclusion.
check the history of the house. i'm sure there's some microfiche in the library about any news articles on the house. you could possibly even get a name for your "border."
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