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Edited on Sun Nov-05-06 07:44 AM by BlueIris
Then the New Special Friend I met while volunteering for one of my state's incumbent Democrats finishes his work running said Democrat's re-election campaign and goes back to...wherever he lives. I think it's in California. ...egh.
I've known for the last six weeks that he was leaving, and said that because of this, and other things, I wasn't going to get attached. I realized today that I...got attached. And now he's leaving!
I've mentioned bits and pieces of this brief, magical story to at least one poster on this site. I guess I don't feel like posting the whole thing even now, but here's the gist of it: a while ago, I was told that at about this point in my life, I would meet someone, in a work or other professional environment, probably male, who was my "twin soul." I'm quite certain that's who New Special Friend is. (Please, nobody ask me how, it would be too difficult for me to type out the explanation.) Though I liked him immediately and found him to be charming and intelligent, he is the last thing I ever expected my twin soul to be. Literally the yin to my yang, and the yin part of the equation features a personality that though it is part of a talented, kind, tenacious and brave individual, is really struggling to deal with the ramifications of an extremely rough childhood, and the reality that he is a gay, gay man. Also--distinctly not on a spiritual path.
I am so mad at myself right now. I decided last month that while we had our nice little emotional connection and everything, and yeah, twin soul, I was clearly not meant to interfere in his development as a professional, an adult or a gay guy ('cause I would know so much about all of those things). But I can't help but wonder if I just copped out on trying to get to know him for my own reasons. I was largely consumed by my own stressful concerns at the time, (and my frustration that the campaign we were working on was chronically understaffed) that I just gave up trying to have meaningful conversations with him. Did I mention that he's leaving?
It was just so many days I could have appreciated him more! And I am so sad that I couldn't find an appropriate segue into having at least one more talk with him about what I see as his great potential, from my spiritually-informed perspective (he was kind enough not to mock my discussions of astrology and such in the office, and even let me do his own chart for him). Plus, twin soul or not, he did an incredibly nice thing for me when we first met that has really helped me along on my own path, and I wanted to return the favor. And what if no one else encourages him to get the help he needs to resolve the childhood trauma issues? I've spent close to four years trying to sort out mine and I'm still not done. I don't know where I'd be if no one had reached out and indicated to me that I needed to address my mental health. I realize we have to be careful about interfering in the lives of strangers, but I feel that I missed an opportunity to help someone here, because I was too wrapped up in personal and egotistical pain.
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