Wow - a nice reading for a change!

[crikkett]

A couple of you know that I've been in a personality conflict at my volunteer gig (and volunteering is *supposed to be fun*)

It got intense yesterday... walked around with a sore stomach... then two interesting things happened. I had a dream of my husband staring me in the eyes and saying "remember, don't help them hurt you". And, I woke up with a hives bump. :( For crying out loud, I've allowed people who are unimportant to me twist me into a visceral reaction!

So I gave up and drew a tarot reading this morning:

4 of swords, 5 of pentacles reversed, two of cups.

(I only have space to do a 3-card drawing)

I'm really new at this, but I think this means there's a truce in the cards.

I thought I'd share the good news.
:hi:

[Fire Walk With Me]

1. Past/Present/Future form?

The five of pentacles reversed is not very good, but still better than non-reversed. Two of Cups, very very nice, I hope that this is what you "get" :hi:

Also, I note that it is important to take the cards in varying depth...the meaning is not always "fully on", or devastating in effect. I usually pull a card for each day, just to stay aware and on-track. One day I got a card of "superfluity", and at a meeting, there were two types of cake instead of just one.

The "depth" of the meanings must be taken in proper measure. I sure got a grin when I put the two cakes in context with the cards meaning :)

Peace! And we all have Talent. Just use it and don't struggle. The higher realms are interested in helping as much as is requested.

[crikkett]

3. It was past/present/future form

it's the only one Ive learned so far.

I took the 5 to mean "a light at the end of the tunnel" or "end of hardship soon". Like you said, it's not great but at least it's not waking hell. I understood 4 swords to mean that there was a need for a truce...or at least a need to stop struggling.

At any rate, yesterday was a really, very good day. It was ideal. I was surrounded by friends; toxic members were absent. The mood was cheerful through the whole shop, and as a result I was witness to small miracles all day long, and was part of many instances of people being delightfully surprised. I recruited a new volunteer (maybe two). I packed a box of nylons for the Gulf of Mexico. I am grateful for the day.

[Mist]

2. The four of Swords often points to a need for retreat and resting. Is your

volunteer work concerned with the poor and needy? The five of Pentacles reversed could be saying to leave that work for now. Sometimes in a three card spread, the middle card is the "problem" card. This could indicate that the volunteer work you do is a reversed, or screwed-up, situation, which certainly sounds like it, from the physical feelings you have while doing it. As a long-time volunteer, and a 20-year veteran of volunteer organizing, I'm amazed how people can bring their ego needs, and screw-ups, into a volunteer situation. It's pretty common to have personality clashes, just as in a paying job.
The two of Cups means love and friendship, and in the context of what's going on, I would think stands for you and your husband finding peace and unity, once you figure out what to do re: your volunteer gig.

REMEMBER: THIS IS JUST MY INTERPRETATION!

[crikkett]

4. Thanks Mist

Thanks for your interpretation.

Yes, the volunteer work is helping to run a thrift shop that raises money for poor and needy children, so you got that one right.

The environment is dysfunctional. Right again.

My decision for now is not to abandon the group, which would both hurt them and burn bridges, but to scale back involvement to the healthiest possible minimum, avoiding constant exposure to the few toxic egos we must suffer, and allowing them opportunity to fail. I will avoid being part of discord.

If they fail, I hope it is quickly, in a spectacular and undeniable way that is obvious to everyone but limited in terms of the damage they will cause.

[Mist]

6. Sounds like you have a good grip on what to do--try to maintain some emotional distance from

the toxic ones. Personally, I find that hard to do sometimes--I tend to react and wear myself out, rather than maintaining emotional distance.

[NuttyFluffers]

5. rest for weary/healing the wounded/emotional understanding between two...

read that it's a past/present/future layout. sounds like you decided to take this volunteerism as a way to rest from other stresses in your life. the result is a present where everyone's wounded (dysfunctional) -- but things are starting to show a "light at the end of the tunnel". the future result will be sharing of each other's emotions (drinking from each other's cup) and coming to an understanding, maybe even friendship.

perhaps people at the thrift store are reacting to the new person (you) by fighting back. like people who are used to people volunteering for a moment and then disappearing. not liking to be emotionally hurt and abandoned they react like porcupine quills to defend themselves emotionally. seeing that you have been here so long and are being hurt badly AND learning to emotionally divorce, things might change when they realize they are taking things too far. this begins healing after much injury; i expect a confessional session where "cups are shared" and understanding develops.