I have buried another cat. Life (and death) are just so unfair.

[Curmudgeoness]

My last kitty just died yesterday. This is the first one that was a shock. How much pain we have to endure! My back yard has too many cat graves from all my companions over the years.

We have been through so much, losing Pudding this last Christmas, then finding out that Ashes had hyperthyroidism. Put him through the radioactive iodine treatment and his thyroid tested fine. Then the last problem we had was a broken tooth that was painful and needed removed. He had to be healthy before they would use anesthesia on him and finally all tests were fine. He had the surgery Wednesday and all went well. Then he went into cardiac arrest in recovery. They could not revive him. This was devastating to me, since it was supposed to be just a routine procedure. Every other cat I have lost has been put to sleep or dying. I knew they were on borrowed time. I wanted so much for him to have that tooth removed so he would be out of pain.

Ashes was such a sweet cat. He purred nonstop, tolerated just about everything, ran to the door when I came home, and had to come and meet everyone who visited. Even a close friend who didn't like cats loved him, because, as she put it, he liked her so much. This was a very good cat. (Of course, weren't they all.)

I miss him so much. This is a lonely house right now, and it is chilly. He would love to be cuddled up with me right now.

:cry:

Maybe next time I will not adopt an adult cat, even though I know they are the ones who need forever homes the most. Sigh, we will see how life goes.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. I'm so sorry.

Ashes sounds like a great cat. You did the best you could for him. But it really sucks to lose a cat friend. :hug:

[Curmudgeoness]

2. Yep, that is about the only description for it. It sucks.

I tried to do right by him. He deserved it. And we were so so so close to him finally being out of pain. I guess he is now.

[Coyote_Bandit]

3. .

:hug:

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Curmudgeoness]

4. Thanks Coyote Bandit. My heart is empty right now.

And there are too many cat food ads on TV.

[livetohike]

5. I'm so sorry for your loss of Ashes

:hugs: This isn't fair....losing a loving family member to a routine procedure. I hope you will try and remember all the good things about Ashes and the times you spent together and it will help to ease the shock and sadness of his loss. He will live in your memory and heart forever...

[Curmudgeoness]

11. Thank you. I will never forget Ashes

or any of the cats who left me before him. I am so amazed at my good luck with kitties' personalities. They have all met me at the door, come when they were called, liked to cuddle. I don't know anything about this independent streak they are supposed to have. My heart is still sore.

[virgdem]

6. I am so sorry for your loss...

it's so hard to lose them. I've lost so many myself and it never gets any easier. You were trying to help Ashes and that's what counts. When the time is right, you will have another companion to keep you company. May you find much peace in the coming days and weeks.

[Curmudgeoness]

12. It never does get any easier. But we know that going in.

Cats just do not live long enough, so we know it will come to this. I just was not prepared for it coming this way for Ashes. Thanks. :hug:

[virgdem]

25. None of us is ever prepared for an unexpected death...

I lost a cat, Cleo, 8 years ago this month. She had a stroke and I wasn't aware of it and didn't know what was wrong with her. I was going to take her to the Vet that morning and when I went into her room (she didn't get along with the other 5 cats), I found her dead on her bed. It was such a shock that I didn't know how to handle it at first, but I had the presence of mind to call my Vet. They told me to bring her in and they made arrangements with the local pet cremation service that they use. I cried for days and still blame myself for not being aware of what happened to her and not acting sooner than I did. I have made peace with myself, but still have regrets about what happened.

[Curmudgeoness]

30. We all beat ourselves up over things that probably would make no difference.

I always second guess myself, but in this situation, I know I did what had to be done. The tooth was so painful from what I was told that even if I had known this could happen, I would still take the risk. I so much did not want him in pain.

I have a ritual that I feel I have to do when I lose a cat. I have to dig that hole. Somehow it is theraputic and I can do a lot of crying while I am doing it. But I also have thought that I should have cremated all of them, and I could have had them all buried with me when the time comes. Too late, but also it just does not seem personal enough for me. It is too easy on me. I want that pain. When my vet called me at work to tell me that we lost Ashes, she asked if I wanted him creamated and I almost said yes because I did not want to deal with this. But how horrible that would have been! I would not have been able to see him again or say a final goodbye.

I am glad you have made peace with yourself. It is too easy to blame ourselves for the inevitible. Take it from me. My sister is the worrier and I am the one who kicks myself over everything in life.

[murielm99]

7. I am so sorry for you loss. n/t

[Curmudgeoness]

13. Thank you, murielm99. nt

[mod mom]

8. Pet loss is so difficult. So sorry for your loss.

I lost my sweet lab just before Christmas and now have another with a tumor, so I understand your feelings.

:hug:

[Curmudgeoness]

14. I am sorry you are having troubles too.

It is not easy, and seems worse when it comes at us in bucketfuls. I find it difficult to believe that I am without a cat when just last year I had two very healthy cats.

I hope that your dog will be ok, at least not in pain. "Not in pain" is what seems to be the most important thing to me, which is why this tooth removal seemed like the end to a long road of troubles.

[mod mom]

19. Thank you. Yesterday she was all morphined up when I got her

but today I had to hold her back from chasing squirrels, so I think she's in the right direction. Biopsy results on Monday.

There's a lot of new kitties that would like to share your love. :hug:

[Curmudgeoness]

20. Ah, one and one equals two...I didn't realize

I have been following your story about Whisper. Duh.

And I know there are lots of kitties, and adult cats, needing love and care. The last time I lost two cats in a year's time, it took me about eight months before I was ready. However....I took some litter and unopened food back to the pet supply store today, and I did take a peek at all the kitties they have up for adoption. When it is right for me, I will know. Maybe once I get all this cat hair cleaned up!

Best wishes for Whisper.

[badgerpup]

9. I am so sorry...

...wish I had words that would help. :hug:

[Curmudgeoness]

15. Thanks, badgerpup.

Your words do help. And talking (typing) it out to people who know and care seems therapeutic, as odd as that sounds.

[roody]

10. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't hesitate

to fill the void with a homeless cat of any age.

[Curmudgeoness]

16. Thank you, roody, and when I am ready,

You can rest assured that a homeless cat will have a very good home. Since you cannot replace a friend, you have to wait until it is time for a new one. Seems that things fall into place when the time is right.

[ceile]

17. I am so sorry...

It is the ones that go suddenly that hurt the most. :hug:

[Curmudgeoness]

18. Yes, this was a bad one. No time for preparing

myself for him to be gone. I am dealing with it now. I have spent a lot of time beating myself up about what I shoulda/coulda/woulda done, and the reality is that I did everything the way it should have been done. Shit just happpens. Thanks, ceile.

[Lisa0825]

21. I am so sorry :-(

((((((((HUGS))))))))

I wish I could make you feel better, but all I can do is say I know how you feel. :cry:

It wouldn't hurt so much if we didn't love so much. He was lucky to be loved.

[Curmudgeoness]

23. I was lucky to be loved by him.

He was a very affectionate cat. He is missed. Thanks, I wish you could make it better too. Time.

[Stinky The Clown]

22. Image how joyous was the reunion when Ashes reunited with all the other ones

Imagine how much they enjoy celebrating YOU.

[Curmudgeoness]

24. I would like to believe that he is reunited with his mommy,

Pudding, who I know he missed. I want them to wait at the Rainbow Bridge for me. Spiritual beliefs can be comforting, but I have little faith in them. But I do know that he is no longer in pain, and he still exists in my heart. He had a rough time of it recently and I hated that he had to go through so much. But he sure is missed.

[TuxedoKat]

26. Ah so sorry

for the loss of your beloved Ashes. (((HUGS)))

[Curmudgeoness]

28. Thank you, TuxedoKat.

:hug:

[BrklynLiberal]

27. There are no words...and no matter how many we lose, the heartache is the same.

Time and tears......

[Curmudgeoness]

29. It doesn't get better. The only thing that experience does

is help me know that there are millions of wonderful cats out there, and although you can never replace one, you can have another happy relationship. I met an incredible cat today at a rescue group cat house at the pet store today. Kinda weird looking, very long snout almost like a dog, but very affectionate. I just had to go and pet some cats.

[BrklynLiberal]

31. Continue to share your love with other cats....it IS the best therapy.

[WillParkinson]

32. Many hugs...

From my family to yours.

[Curmudgeoness]

34. Thanks, WillParkinson. Family of one right this minute.

Too quiet around here. :-(

[japple]

33. Your Ashes had a wonderful life with you and he is so grateful that

he had you for a human companion. I am sorry his death was so sudden and such a traumatic experience for you. It sounds like he was quite a character, though, and a beautiful kitty soul. It wouldn't be surprising if he came back for a visit, maybe at night when you're settling into bed, you might feel a little ghost kitty kneading the covers and settling in for the night. It's happened to me. I am one who believes that animals do not fear death, and they know they will be reunited with their humans some day. Here or there, I'm sure you'll be meeting Ashes again.

[Curmudgeoness]

35. I like to hope so, japple. This one is the hardest because

of the suddenness. Who expects to lose their cat getting a tooth removed? I was just so glad that this would get him out of pain, finally. I guess his heart was just tired of all his problems.

Funny, someone here at DU asked how you get used to living alone because all the little noises and creaks in a house were driving her crazy. I told her to get a cat, and you could blame them all on the cat. I am hearing "the cat" all the time now.

I will have another cat soon. I cannot live without a cat in my life, I know that now.

[japple]

36. I think your Ashes (and Puddin' as well) will be thrilled when

another cat finds its way into your life. It probably won't be long before one lands on your doorstep.

I can't image a house without animal sounds: yips and barks from the dog, cat meowing, thunks when the cats jump down from on high, loud purring...

Keep us posted, and :hug::hug::hug: