Our 20 year old kitty is wailing pretty pitifully...

[friesianrider]

It's 1:20 am here on the east coast and she's been doing this since early this morning. I left around 1 pm for a horse show and thought she was doing ok, but when I got back around midnight she seemed the same or even a little worse. She just walks through the house like she is restless and she'll start wailing every 10 minutes or so. She's still jumping into the bathtub and up onto the sofas, but doesn't want to be pet. I saw she used her litterbox so she is urinating ok, but I don't know about the other way. I am pretty close with our vet who said several months ago that when it was Buffy's "time" she would come to the house to put her to sleep. Thing is I don't have a way to contact my specific vet (the vet office has about 5 so I don't know who is on-call). I thought I could wait to call until Monday morning but I think I'll have to call first thing tomorrow morning.

She is 20 years old and has had some mild problems over the years with diabetes and her kidneys, but I'm worried that she's finally starting to descend on the downward slope. Although she is still maneuvering pretty well it is obvious she is trying to tell me something and that she is at least uncomfortable or possibly in pain. She is acting very abnormal and is wandering around the house wailing every so often for a few seconds, then wandering some more and repeating this.

God, I hate having to make the decision of "when" to do something like this. You don't want to wait until it gets to the point that they are really suffering (or that she dies in a lot of pain and possibly alone while I am sleeping or whatever), but of course you also do not want to feel like they had more time left and you cut their life short. I hate not knowing if she wants to go or not. For awhile though, I have gotten the sense from her that she is just "tired" of everything - if you know what I mean.

I just remember my first horse Tammi, who had who had a tumor in her trachea. We had it removed, but learned it would grow back. I left her on a Wednesday for a 3-day trip and when I came home she was EXTREMELY bad. Her airway was so blocked we had to stop her every two steps out of the barn to let her calm down and catch her breath. I felt awful for not relieving her suffering before it got to that awful point.

Is it wrong to help her pass on, even if she isn't to the point yet where she is really, really bad? I keep feeling like if I don't wait until that time comes that I am essentially killing her and not doing it out of mercy for her suffering. I hate seeing anything's life end, and I hate being in the position to decide when she dies.

Ugh. Sorry for the diatribe, but if anyone has some helpful words of wisdom I could really use them now. I have a hard decision to make soon. :cry:

[roguevalley]

1. The dog in my sig line is my Tippy, who died at eleven. He had a

blood clot in his leg that we didn't know about and he was in screaming agony for five days. Had I known he wasn't going to live, I would have done the LAST, BEST, MOST LOVING thing any pet owner could do and let him slip away. I didn't. I regret it terribly. He shouldn't have ended the most loving and truly lived life that way.

He would wait for me for hours outside the bathroom door. His only happiness was sitting next to me. He wouldn't eat his breakfast if he didn't get a pat and a love first.

He was my son, my daughter, the love of my life. I had to hold him when they told me what they finally diagnosed and let him go. I told him I loved him, I wished I had more pictures and I cried. I cried for months. But I know he is in the summerland, sitting with my other babies, waiting for me so faithfully.

They live in the moment. They look at you and feel whole. Your baby is letting you know that they are coming to the end. You have to take the next step, the loving and motherly, gentle and wise step of deciding how much agony their last days will hold. I wish I had understood Tippy's illness. I remember every agonized scream and how the pain killers didn't help him. I love that dog so much I write a note to him on a desktop diary every night before I shut off my computer. Since March, he's been gone.

Even as I grieve and miss him, I know I did the only thing I could for him. I held him as he died and he felt my arms around him. You have to do what is right and your heart will tell you. Don't beat yourself up. You are the one who loves this cat best and for 20 years you were friends. Be his friend now and do what your heart tells you. It will be the right thing.

RV, knowing that keeping Tippy alive would be for me, not him. God bless you and your baby.

[Eurobabe]

2. Oh poor thing, this is heartbreaking...

I think when cats start making that noise (caterwauling, low moaning sound) or acting disoriented, etc. something is seriously wrong. If she has kidney probs and diabetes, most likely her electrolyte balance is off, but at that age, I doubt there is really much you can do for them. I have a 14 yr. old male cat who has had some FLUT issues in the past, and I freak when he is either down in the basement or in another room and he makes that god awful noise. It scares me, like oh no here we go again.

20 yrs. is a long time for a cat to survive, if my cat was in pain, or acting as you said yours was, I wouldn't hesitate to help him pass peacefully. I believe in my heart it is the most humane thing to do. It's better than having your gut ripped out by experiencing a wretched ending for the beloved kitty. I think you are doing the right thing by helping her pass, maybe she's trying to tell you...

(In fact, my mom and I went through a terrible month in August watching my 95 yr. old grandmother go downhill in the hospital and then at a hospice. If it had been legal we would have taken my gram home and helped her pass earlier than she did. We both agreed that we treat our animals with more dignity than we do our elderly.)

Peace, hang in there, I know it's painful. -48%er.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. Sometimes old cats howl because they are disoriented,

and also hard of hearing (so she doesn't know where you are). It might not be because she is in pain -- I had a cat who lived to be 21 who did the same thing. But eventually he showed signs of being really sick, too, and I think I should have taken him to the vet sooner. They can advise you. Good luck; I know this is hard.

[BrklynLiberal]

4. I wish I had words of wisdom, but none come to mind. It sound like your

little girl might be in pain and you need totake her to the vet and find out.
Please keep us posted as to how things turn out.
I hope it is not too difficult or painful experience for either of you.

[demnan]

5. Well, you need to talk to the vet

Sometimes there is an intestinal blockage due to hairballs and stuff, so I wouldn't rule out that kind of thing before putting her to sleep.

Hope all is well. :hug:

[okasha]

6. Talk to the vet first

Cats get to an age when anything wrong can become a cause for worry, and 20's definitely in that range. But take time to see if the problem's something that can be set right before you do anything irretrievable. From what you've said, she's active, which is a good sign.

[kestrel91316]

7. Don't make your decisions how to proceed based on her

numerical age. Some cats have great quality of life into their early twenties. Look at whether she is able to enjoy life. When she is miserable AND you don't have a realistic shot at making a difference, then it's "time".

That said, old kitties can become hard of hearing and then they get noisy because they can't hear how loud they are and modulate the volume. Also, hyperthyroidism can cause agitation and a tendency toward restlessness. This is a VERY manageable disease.

Sometimes they are just plain unhappy about something in the home that has changed, and they are asking for it to be changed back. It's up to you to figure this one out, lol.

[sadinred]

8. how is your kitty?

What did your vet say?

I think sometimes these little guys are here teach us big lessons.

I hope she's doing better today.

[yewberry]

9. Hi

Friesianrider is taking a little time off from DU--I don't know exactly what's happened with Buff, but I'm sure that when she's ready to talk about it, friesianrider will.

I hope they're okay, too.