A little levity for all the cooks I have learned to peek in on - and Happy New Year.

[Mira]

My cooking has 4 levels:

Level 1: My spouse and I will eat it.
(example: tuna sandwiches)

Level 2: My spouse and I won't eat it, but the dogs will eat it.
(example: moderately burned chocolate chip cookies)

Level 3: The dogs won't eat it, but the chickens will eat it.
(example: rice prepared with one cup rice to one cup water)

Level 4: The chickens won't eat it.
(example: potatoes microwaved without stabbing first, aka potato-
based charcoal briquets)

May all your cooking be Level 1.

[Stinky The Clown]

1. Lemme tall ya sumpin' ............

I would bet a year's pay that not one person who posts in this forum has missed out on the joys of Levels 3 or 4 ....... and probably Level 5, if it exists!

:)

Happy New Year!!!

[Mira]

3. If it's the pay for this year (let's say last 3 months pro-rated out ) YOU ARE ON

[Tangerine LaBamba]

2. Level 4

Putting a chunk of lasagna, uncovered, of course, into the microwave, and somehow hitting 11 instead of 1 minute. And then leaving the kitchen and forgetting about it................

[Mira]

4. That's a bloody explosion. And I would call that level 11. Happy New Year to you Tangerine LB

[Mind_your_head]

7. Oh YES.....I've "done" that.......

not necessarily lasagna though.

Whatta tragic, dried out, overcooked mess! :rofl:

[yellowdogintexas]

17. setting the oven to 450 to bake a meringue pie shell. Volcano pie.

I am a good cook but I have burned my share of food.

[Warpy]

5. I never bother to stab potatoes before I nuke them

When was the last time one exploded in the microwave?

If you're getting charcoal briquets, you've simply set the timer wrong.

Moderately burned chocolate chip cookies are fine. It's called a microplane, and it removes sins from the bottoms of cookies as well as grating that super expensive nubbin of cheese over your spaghetti.

There is a level 5: pigs and goats won't eat it. That means you've managed to achieve deadly poison in the kitchen.

[grasswire]

6. that microplane might work....

...as a ped egg, too!

[Duer 157099]

14. Last night, that's when

I too have long given up on poking my taters, mainly because I tend to scrub the skin so well that I figured (wrongly) that piercing the skin was the main point of poking the holes (it's not. apparently).

Yep, had my first microwave-based (yam, in this case) explosion. I'd say it wasn't purty, but it actually was (very nice deep orange!)

Aside from that casualty though, what an excellent dish they turned into - mashed them up with some roasted/candied walnuts and dried cranberries! A keeper.

[Phentex]

8. Level 6 - Smoke alarm goes off and no one moves...

because as my son said "It's just mom cooking."

In my defense, the blasted thing is extra sensitive. I don't even have to be burning anything and it will go off.

Does anyone here remember when I ruined a pot cooking food for the dogs? :D

[wryter2000]

9. May I add my level 5?

Level 5: So awful I'm afraid the garbage guys might see it in the trash, so I bury it in the back yard.

Level 6: Level 5 so bad all vegetation over the grave dies.

Happy New Year!

[Mira]

10. LOL - glad I came back to look - that's so funny !

I buried a really offensive letter once and then deluded myself that the grass died in that spot.

[wryter2000]

11. LOL

That's a great use for an abusive letter.

[eleny]

12. Forgetting to score chestnuts before putting them in the oven

"What's that popping sound?", he asked. :rofl:

[eridani]

13. W00t!! Yet another C&B DUzy!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4761186

[wryter2000]

15. OMG

I got a DUzy for that. How did I miss that?

:woohoo:

[Tangerine LaBamba]

16. So did I.........

And, really, mine wasn't funny at all.............

[irish.lambchop]

18. Hitting the "Speed Clean" button which is right next to the

"Oven Light" button when I've food in there and it locks the oven door :(