Republican caucus denies existence of quarks

[RATM435]

In a hastily called news conference, Rep. Fred Knowlittle, Republican member of the Utah Legislature, attempted to put to rest rumors regarding the Republican caucus’s position on the existence of the quark.

“We are aware that a lot of people have said some dumb things about our new understanding about quarks,” he read in an opening statement, but added, “We are convinced, and we are unanimous here, that there are no quarks! They do not exist!”

Knowlittle said that since no one had ever seen a quark, how could anyone know they exist? “If anyone thinks there are quarks out there then they should bring one up here to the State Capitol and let us have a look. Otherwise, they should just shut up about the whole thing,” he said.

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/opinion/51489526-82/quarks-quark-knowlittle-utah.html.csp

[shraby]

1. Pretty believable satire. It echoes a lot of right-wing thinking.

[laconicsax]

4. That it is.

If not for Knowlittle and Knowevenless, it'd be even more believable.

[Scuba]

2. I understand he opened that session with a prayer, but what's a little...

...inconsistency to a Republican?

[n2doc]

3. In other words "Quacks Deny Quarks" n/t

[Howler]

5. HEY!!!!!

We have PROOF that Quarks exist!!!!
Here is Howlerville's Quark!!!

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